The Deel Spot

Still Here

2010-09-17T14:59:00.007-05:00

Hard to believe but 3 months in and we're still in NC. I don't know if it's easier or just more familiar. At least I can find my way to 2 Target stores now. On the other hand I don't like them as much as the 2 stores that were within 5 miles of our house in San Antonio. The boys are both in school now so I have a few hours to myself during the week. Unfortunately, the church where Connor is takes about 20 minutes to get to and with only 3 hours I pretty much stay in the area. I'm making it to the gym more (5 minutes from his school) but it's not good for our bank account as I have lots of time to waste---shopping! Also, our house is suffering because once I get home I don't feel like cleaning. Of course with his bad sleeping and my increased allergies I don't feel like doing much most of the time anyway. It is getting a little dusty in here.

We have taken our first vacation and with it taken advantage of our new proximity to the everything on the East Coast. To play it safe we had a beach trip to Myrtle Beach. I really recommend it! It's a great family destination and I think it would have been fun before we had kids as well. We stayed on Kingston Plantation which is owned by Hilton. It has a couple of hotels but we stayed in a 2 bedroom condo. For 3 nights it was just over $300! We got a special rate with one night free and were concerned it wasn't a great "room" but it turned out to be really nice and only a few minutes to the waterpark and beach. We also enjoyed the Boardwalk area (the one we visited but apparently there are several). Next time we go I also want to visit Dolly Parton's western dinner show. I think it looks like something the kids might like with the horses and riders.

Anyway, we're going to try and visit some other destinations we've always wanted to see. Guess we'd better hurry, you never know when Mike's going to end up getting another job back in TX ;-)

Myrtle Beach Aquarium --lots of Fun!

We have no idea why Connor likes to "throw" gang signs. Usually it's both boys and I swear they don't watch rap videos or "gangsta" movies!

Not sure what a dinosaur has to do with a boardwalk but the boys loved it!

And finally a picture actually taken AT the beach

I don't like change so what am I doing in NC

2010-07-29T18:35:00.003-05:00

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't like change I never did which is why I've lived in TX for over 40 years. I do not like NOT living in Texas. I do not like living in NC especially a small town. I don't like not knowing where anything is or who anyone is.

And I especailly don't like that my sweet son who loved his school so much is having so much trouble here. Or that my youngest child is mad at Jesus because he won't take him home to San Antonio. I wish more than anythign that I'd learned to appreciate what I had and not taken a chance. I don't like chances and I don't know how to fix it...

Just an update

2010-07-23T14:44:00.002-05:00

What a surprise today when I finally looked at my blog--all the sweet comments. I almost deleted the post awhile back because to be honest I feel guilty. That's always been one of my biggest failings and sins I guess, feeling guilty about things I should feel forgiven about.

As to me, I half-heartedly started a new blog for my new life here in North Carolina. Since I only have one post I can't say I've been very dedicated to it either :-) I knew I'd feel down leaving TX but I've really let it get to me and I don't just want to blog sad whiny posts! I'll get it together once I get the house up to speed. I'm letting the amount of work I want to do wear me out before I start and that's a bad thing. On the other hand I hit it on our old house hard from February until April then of course keeping it in show condition once it hit the market. Fortunately it sold really fast (yes, I'm completely aware that was a God-thing in this housing market so I need to completely accept this is HIS plan for me) but then that necessitated the organizing and packing which was always tiring.

I'm hoping for some energy soon. Not sure if it's mood related or thyroid (lack of one) related. I need to find a new doctor once Connor starts Pre-K in September and get everything under control. For now I think I'll just get dinner done and hope my family is happy with that much!

Once upon a time

2010-02-11T15:19:00.002-06:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was born into a family that taught her about God's love. She grew up to know about His Son and how he died for her. She loved church. Which was a good thing because she was there every time the doors opened.

Then one sad May, her father died. The following May she began dating a boy from church. In the fall she went into a new class. The only problem was the "queen bee" in the new class wanted the boy for herself. She and the other girls made a point to be hateful to the little girl. Eventually, she stopped going to church but she still loved God.

Years later after the little girl had spent too many years in the world, she had a little boy. She wanted to be sure her little boy knew that God loved him and what Jesus had done for him. She decided to take her family to church. The only problem was her little boy was a little hyper but he was only 2 so what could you do. One day the church told her they had started a file on her little boy because he was bad. She felt awful and prayed so hard that she could help her little boy. She kept going to church. Then one day after bible study a staff member was waiting to talk to her. They said her little boy had bitten the teacher. Only the teacher had told her a different story. One about her little boy behaving like alot of 2 year olds do. When she tried to explain she was yelled at and told her son was violent and that it must be coming from his home. This all happened in the hallway in front of all the other Mommies and the little girl cried. She was told not to bring her little boy back for 2 weeks and to do something about his violent issues. When the teacher told the staff member she was wrong and another child bit the teacher, the staffer just walked away without another word. When the little girl called to talk to the staffers boss they stood behind her---even though she was wrong. The little girl took her family and left. But she missed God.

A few years later she tried again even though she was very very afraid and rarely took her child around other kids. She found somewhere she liked and even a teacher who understood her child. She was happy. Years went by and life took many turns. Many of them difficult. Her church grew and changed. There was another sweet child to raise but they didn't go to church as often as before.

One day she decided to try again and joined a bible study. It wasn't a subject she was interested in but her neighbor asked her to join that class. He youngest wasn't happy about going and never slept at night so the little girl was tired all the time. But still, she missed God so she went to try and get closer to Him. Her friend wasn't there that day. The class didn't really interest her. In fact the subject was uncomfortable and she was hearing things about people she really didn't want to know. One person dominated the class and brought up things that weren't appropriate. She wanted to leave. She didn't. One person asked a question and after 2 other people had spoke, the little girl started to say something encouraging to that person. While words were coming out of her mouth the dominating person suddenly and loudly started talking over her. She talked for 15 more minutes.

The little girl was tired, no sleep remember, and lonely, DH travels every week for his job, and it made her feel really bad. The little girl didn't have anyone around she could talk to. She made a mistake. She posted a comment on Facebook so maybe someone would see she was hurting and call her so she could talk. It was a generic comment about someone cutting her off and no one was named. She forgot that she had 2 "friends" on FB who went to her church.

She got a call from her small group leader supposedly concerning the email she had sent explaining why she didn't feel comfortable in the class and would be leaving. She didn't feel like talking but called back. After pretty much apologizing for even saying anything she felt better but still not likely to go back. Then the leader berated her for her FB post--the leader is NOT a "friend" on FB. Apparently someone felt the need to find out which group the little girl was in an tattle on her. The little girl did not talk about what was said, did not name people, and did not mention what group she was in.

The little girl is sick, and tired, and sad and now she doesn't have anyplace to take her sweet children to learn about Jesus. And she totally understands why so many people hate the church.

Build-a-Bear

2010-01-27T19:46:00.004-06:00

Yes, today I took Connor to Build-a-Bear. Sean went in the fall for a party and came home with a pretty cool bear. Connor has a few stuffed animals but most are actually Sean's and Connor has a Teddy Bear Picnic tomorrow at preschool. I decided he needed his own special bear.

This probably isn't the best time since tomorrow I am also mailing our massive property tax payment thus seriously depleting our savings account. I guess I wanted him to have a fun experience. It seems with Sean I had so much more energy (not to mention time with only 1 kid) and we were always at the zoo, park, Fiesta Texas, and so on. Connor goes to the store alot, the gym when I can get him there, and to take Sean places. I'd like to improve my energy enough that we're at least doing park visits more often.

He was so quiet and serious at the mall. The last time he was at the mall with just me was probably over a year ago in a stroller so I'm sure he doesn't remember it. We all went Christmas 2008 to look at a washer/dryer at Sears and got out of there ASAP so he can't remember much then either.

He loved Build-a-Bear. He even chose the shirt that had their logo on it. That and the helmet and knee/elbow pads so I guess he's got a skater bear. He listened intently to the building instructions and immediately chose the heart that said "I love you". He loves carrying Tedi (his choice, my spelling to shake things up a bit) and giving him kisses. I kinda wish he hadn't picked the helmet as I was hoping Tedi would encourage him to sleep in his bed instead of mine (every night this week!). Perhaps we'll just take his helmet off at bedtime. I can always hope. The bear ended up being $25 so I'm hoping it has some benefit for me as well!

Sunday Morning

2010-01-17T10:45:00.003-06:00

It's 10:45 Sunday morning and I'm most obviously NOT in church. I'm feeling ambivalent about my church lately. In the beginning I loved it. When my mother was sick and Mike in Iraq I went every Sunday. The last year or so I've just dragged around. I haven't been able to get myself motivated by the Wednesday morning Bible Studies and we STILL don't have Sunday School because 6 years later we're STILL meeting in a school.

I think that may be part of my unrest. I understand the low or no-debt thing but really with 800 members and 6 years of existence I think a church building would be nice. We've already paid off the $1 million plus cost of the land. We had to put a building on the lot or get hit with paying taxes (gee, I guess you can't claim tax-free status on cedar trees) but it's mostly for youth functions and training. I think they mentioned men's bible studies but not women's (????) My church is big on small groups which we've never done with Mike's work schedule. I know we're using that as an excuse but there it is.

Some people have been leaving or complaining amongst themselves that this leads to cliques. I have heard of visitors saying we are a very cliquish church (and I've heard it from old-time members as well). I do know when I went to one bible study all but 2 of us had our kids at the same exclusive Christian school (maybe when Connor is in school I can get a job to afford their tuition :) many in the same class. Even though the leader was great, I did feel excluded as they often discussed things only "insiders" would know. Oddly, one lady talked about relying on God for things because they were in the ministry and very limited on funds. I'm wondering where they came up with the thousands of dollars to pay for their kids each year. Maybe I'm just grumpy because she totally blew me off when I tried to speak to her once--actually to pay her a compliment!

The other night I found myself watching Alan Jackson's Precious Memories concert. I remember almost all those old songs from growing up. They have such spirit, such faith, and they truly move me. I think I felt the Lord more sitting in front of the TV then I have anywhere else lately. Our pastor says he's not there to feed us and that it's up to us but I still feel something missing. I know I need to build my personal time and relationship with the Lord. Still...I'm sad.

Just Pictures

2010-01-08T19:20:00.005-06:00

I've got nothing interesting to say so I'm just posting pictures of my boys.

San Antonio Silliness or Save us We're Freezing to Death

2010-01-07T19:24:00.004-06:00

Okay, I admit I'm cold. I admit, I'm seriously seriously laughing at the whole Global Warming thing because it's gosh darn cold this year (but I still Recycle because Global Warming or not we are supposed to be stewards of the earth and we have abused it). Still, I just got an email from Sean's school titled "Inclement Weather". It went on to note they would open at 6:45 so parents could drop kids off early rather than make them wait for the bus. I do appreciate that, although we don't get bus service, as I hate to think of cold kiddos, still...when did 25 degree temps w/out any precipitation equal inclement weather. Yes, it's cold. Yes, it's been cold longer than most years but it's no 11 below with icy roads.

I bought the kids hats and gloves. I shaved the fuzz off an old wool coat to wear for myself--I usually only need jackets. But people here are acting like a blizzard is bearing down. As one who lived in slightly colder temperatures (okay West Texas but it SNOWS and gets down in the teens not to mention the vicious wind chill) 25 is uncomfortable but doable. I can see worrying about the homeless of which I'm sure we have a higher population due to the normally temperate winters. I can see worrying about our animals. My dog hates the house so she'll be sleeping in the garage on blankets with a heated fan. Okay yes, I was afraid of the space heater because of the amount of junk that could burn in our garage! It's not really that cold in there so she'll be fine.

I just imagine those in, as MckMama calls it, the Frozen Tundra getting a look at our dire newscasts and laughing themselves silly! Now, excuse me, I have to go feed the dog and turn on her heater :-)

Facebook Fun

2010-01-05T18:45:00.002-06:00

I've been MIA alot on FB lately but I must say I love how I'm "finding" people I haven't seen in 20 or more years. Last month I finally got to have lunch with a friend from elementary school (the stars aligned and we had no sick kids on the same day our kids were in school/preschool). We spent over 2 hours talking and that wasn't enough time.

Today I had lunch with my friend Stephanie from high school. One of the other girls in our little group that did everything together. It was great! I haven't seen her in more than 17 years. Unfortunately, the last time was at the funeral of one of our best friends. Today was certainly a more pleasant occasion. 17 years ago I had just met Mike so you can imagine how much we had to catch up on. We didn't even get close when I had to dash away to get Connor (yes, I was late but only a few minutes)

I really really need to get the house cleaned up and have a get together here. Funny thing is Kelley (elementary friend) and Steph live within 10 minutes of each other and only about 20 minutes from me. Provided it's not rush hour. Steph missed both Reunions so I wish we were having one this year. I'm wondering if maybe we can have some little get together here or even San Angelo even if it's not official. I love memories...

Happy Birthday Jesus

2009-12-25T20:23:00.007-06:00

I never blog anymore but in case anyone is out there (Janet :-) I felt I really should at least put up some Christmas pictures! The bottom 2 are at Fiesta Texas. We've had passes every year since Sean was 4 but never gone to the Holiday in the Park. What a mistake. We had such a great time. The weather was great--in the low 60's--the crowds were small, and the Christmas show excellent! Christmas has been very low key this year. We had Don over briefly for Christmas Eve tamales before he had to run back and play Santa for his undeserving daughters. We went to church and my MIL met us there but somehow I just didn't get much out of it this year and it was a little unorganized *sigh*

Today we hung out forever while I painted the wall to the office (our former loft that we enclosed last year but Mike just textured a few days ago). The outside is done so now I've just got to finish the inside. While I painted he put together a pool table his mother bought the boys then we went to her house for Christmas dinner. Now I'm just ready for some sleep.

Not Me Monday

2009-10-26T10:43:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Why is it that I feel the need to start each Not Me Monday with the fact that it's been forever since I've done Not Me's. Oh well, a dedicated blogger I'm not.

I did not stay up past midnight most nights last week finishing Halloween costumes for my boys despite the fact it's only been 3 weeks since I actually had an organ removed and I should be resting.

I did not say, yet again, next year I'll have taken a sewing class and this will not happen because I could whip up the costumes in a few hours if I wasn't sewing by hand.

I certainly did not tell my oldest child he had to stop wanting to be things that are hard to buy at the store, certainly not, especially since it was my idea to surprise him with a Sonic the Hedgehog costume!

I know I did not run around at the last minute trying to create a Scooby Doo costume even though Connor had originally said he wanted to wear his monkey costume from last year. Of course I couldn't possibly just buy the darn $40 costume from Target. No I must spend countless hours and gas to drive around and find a fleece outfit I can convert thus saving a few dollars (of course I can remove the spots and then it's just a warm outfit :-)

After all that, I know I didn't go to the Halloween party at the gym because DH complained that he couldn't work out if I stayed home--to rest considering the late nights, surgery and the fact he'd been out of town the preceeding weeks and I'd been alone to take care of the boys.

I certinaly did not NOT post the cute pictures of the boys because the one that best shows their costumes also includes me and I really hate how I look. I'm never that vain!

I did not skip church Sunday, after going to the party at the gym, then go to both Sean's makeup soccer game AND our church's Harvest Festival. I didn't use the excuse that I was too tired to make the 9 AM service and the 11 AM was cutting it too close to the soccer game.

Finally, I didn't respond to many people who asked how I was doing, that I was still waiting for the med's to kick in because I was told they would make me hyper, warm, and skinny but instead I was tired, cold and fat! I would never put myself down that way but since it elicited a laugh I said it several times...

11 Days Post Surgery

2009-10-12T15:35:00.003-05:00

So, having my thyroid out was not the most pleasant experience of my life. I do not like general anesthesia and it does not like me. It was really scary to not be able to wake up that first day. So scary I didn't even take any pain medicine until the following morning. Once I finally woke up I was afraid to get that out of it again. I do not like IV's nor do I like getting up every 2 hours to potty because of constant fluids. I do not like being woken up between my 2 hour potty breaks to be stuck and drained or checked for signs of life :-) The good news is there is no cancer. Of course, that makes me seriously wonder if the pain was worth it. The med's are weird. At first I felt energy and was hot (maybe a little too high a dose but nice after years of fatigue) but now I'm cold (it is cooler but not cold here) and tired all day but awake at night. I see my endo this week so I'll ask her about the dose.

Not sure how I'm doing overall (besides the not having cancer part of course). I think I'm up and around too much and tire myself out just trying to do the normal day-to-day stuff. Forunately, I'm doing okay because Mike decided to take care of me the days after my surgery by leaving the house with the children all day. Yes, it was quiet but the first day especially was a little scary being all alone and feeling that bad. I made it through though. Now I'm back to being a single Mommy while he's out of town all week for the next several weeks. Fortunatly, Connor has preschool 2 days of the week and my plan is to come straight back and rest while he's there. Wednesday he has a birthday party but hopefully my rest on Tuesday will have me up for that. Not looking forward to Wednesday evening either when I drop Sean at ckarate as Connor always wants to play on the playground--not sure I can keep up right now!

I actually seem to feel more tired this week than last. Possibly because after 2 years of drought it has rained almost every day for the last several weeks. It's cool, humid, muddy, damp and I'm sure the mold is off the charts. Not to mention, everything is blooming NOW even though it's October. Probably thinks it's Spring weather somewhere other than South Texas. Silly plants but oh, the pollen is evil!

Well I'm off for more Mommy chores. We're in the process of reclaiming and repurposing some rooms so I've got lots of moving of stuff to do!

Lots going on today

2009-09-22T18:21:00.003-05:00

So Connor started his new preschool today. I ended up moving him to the church Sean went to. It's a bit more of a drive (about 5 minutes farther away) but I'm happier with it. He has one teacher instead of two but only 4 other kids. They may get 2 others but I still prefer the smaller class to a larger class and 2 teachers. Interestingly enough, when I picked him up early at the other MDO there was only 1 teacher in there. Another teacher asked his teacher to cover her class while she took a child to the bathroom as she was alone but of course she couldn't as she was alone as well. I'm pretty sure it was an everyday thing as I knew the other teacher had kids that needed to be picked up from school about that time. I also noticed the one day I picked him up at 3 the asst director was in there so there were 2 adults when the other parents came, hmmmm.....

Anyway, I sent an email because I hate anything that resembles a confrontation--even telling someone I'm pulling my kid out because their new classrooms are awful--and even then I feel guilty as if I did something wrong. Maybe I'm just too overprotective as obviously there were lots of kids still going there. Anyway, my decision is made and if people don't like it I guess I'll live with it!

As for me I had my pre-op appt today. The good news is they are giving me the medication the day after my surgery so I won't have to wait for the pathology report to come back. I hope the level they give me is enough to fight off the fatigue I've read about but at least I'm starting with something so that should help. I didn't realize I had to do so many tests at the hospital. I ended up with X-rays, an EKG and bloodwork. I still have to get a flu shot (I'd held off just in case but the doctor said get one ASAP) I managed to finish everything else in time to quickly eat a late lunch and go get Connor. The lunch isn't sitting well with me but I need to get the boys out for a walk for Sean's school project. It's cool and rainy so it will be a different kind of walk. Off we go!

Not Me Monday

2009-09-14T11:47:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I am not writing my first Not Me's in eons because I've been too lazy to keep up with my blog.

I certainly have not been trying to keep Connor asleep when I take Sean to school so I can put him in my bed and snooze with him. Not me, I'm up bright and early doing Mommy chores every day.

My downstairs is not an utter disaster because I watched my friend's son this morning and rather than plan lovely activities for him and Connor I let them pull every toy out of every basket, drawer, container...

That said I did not realize the other day that there are toys in 10 rooms in our house and if you count the Elmo toilet seat in the half bath downstairs we officially have toys in EVERY room in our house. So much for designating a toy room (the former dining room) and a game room (WII, Playstation, DVD player etc.)

I am not feeling sleepy after being up for only 5 hours and would not gratefully take a nap if I was willing to let Connor have one. However, since I don't want to be up until 11 reading him stories we will avoid naptime for either of us today!

I am not planning on visiting another MDO this afternoon so I can move my son out of the dark, loud room his current MDO thinks is an appropriate environment for 50 or so children for 5 hours.

I am also NOT still concerned about what our friends who teach at that MDO and are members of the church will think if we do pull Connor out. Okay I'm lying, I do care but I really really don't want to care so much about other's opinions of me. Especially when it comes to the good of my kids.

Finally, after all my complaining about the lack of rain, I am not secretly disgusted by the amount of mud in my backyard and glad the sun is finally shining today. Noooo, we desperately need water even if my yard is too far gone to benefit from it. I'm a giving soul who worries about the good of the community not the fact that the mud is being tracked in and the dog, who hates the house, is lonely enough to try and come in now--sorry, no muddy paws in the house now when you won't come in when you're clean. (I should note we have a patio and detached garage the dog can go in so she's not out in the elements!)

MDO, what have they done

2009-09-03T16:56:00.002-05:00

I was so excited to go to Connor's MDO orientation last night. We changed churches because his previous MDO only does 3 hours for 3 year olds and is pretty pricey for those 6 hours a week. I thought I was so lucky to get into another program which has a great reputation and is for 5 hours twice a week.

During the summer I received some mail about new classrooms but didn't think much of it. I'd been shown large bright rooms with windows and bathrooms when I picked up the application and dropped off my first check back in March. Last night they proudly (???) sent us over to the old sanctuary to see the only classroom that was complete with the assurance the rest would be done before the following Tuesday. We walked into a room with windows at only the entrance and what looked alot like office wall dividers creating "classrooms". That would be dividers slightly higher than my head where they stopped. That's right no ceiling except the sanctuary ceiling WAY over my head. So essentially Connor will be in a large open area with some dividers and however many kids they are from 18 mo's to 3 years. I didn't count the other class sizes but his has 18 kids in a small space!

I'm so frustrated I've barely cried even though I desperately want to. I've gotten on one waiting list and have a call in to another MDO. If I'd had any idea that this church was going to preempt the MDO rooms to expand it's Pre-K and Kinder (higher tuition perhaps?) I would have NEVER applied. MDO programs are impossible to get into in my part of town and now I'm stuck trying to decide if I should send him to what feels like a large basement full of screaming kids--without nearby bathrooms BTW--or keep him home until I can find somewhere else, which may mean all year. Oh, shoot, NOW I am crying. To top it off they've already got over $300 of our non-refundable money and want another monthly payment of $175 by the 15th of this month.

Sacramento Pictures

2009-08-28T18:46:00.002-05:00

First stop in Napa

Patty, Kathleen and Michele taking pictures

All of us at an olive oil shop

Rockport pictures

2009-08-27T15:21:00.006-05:00

Sean took his fishing very seriously

I love this close-up of Connor. Wish I had his eyelashes!

Mommy has absolutely no idea what the hand signals mean

Look a real picture with Mommy in it--from very very far away....

Sean loved digging on the beach

Connor's Creation

All the Beach Boys

Catch Up Time

2009-08-27T15:10:00.004-05:00

Wow I can't believe the summer is over. Sean is almost done with his first week and Connor starts 2 days of MDO week after next. I think that's a little late but I guess it's because Labor Day is so late this year.

The coast trip was awful. The cottage that looked so nice online, while clean on the surface, was infested with very large roaches and at least one large spider. I finally ended up sitting in the middle of the bed I was sharing with Connor with the bathroom light reading all night. I could hear things moving around under the bed and Mike was in the living room/kitchen area chasing several roaches all night. The kids slept through it all. It was pretty close to being trapped in a horror movie for me with my bug phobia. The next day we moved to a nice newer condo on the other side of Rockport. It was very clean and would have been great except the air conditioner which was in the bedroom dripped/ran all night. It was worse than a drip but not consistent enough to be running so just really annoying. Needless to say by the last morning I was a zombie. The kids loved the beach though so we'll probably go back just not to the first place!

My trip to CA on the other hand was lovely. It was so fun to spend time with family. Going to Pat and Jim's house is like going to a bed and breakfast. The house was beautiful, there were mints in the bedrooms, the food was wonderful, wine flowed freely :) and the company was excellent. I really enjoyed the "Washington girls" as well. I haven't seen Rebecca and Patty since I was 15 so it was kind of like meeting new people. I'm lobbying for a TX Reunion next year so we can include more people. Only, they seem to be under the impression I can lead them on a Hill Country tour of our family homesites, etc like Aunt Muriel did. Oops, maybe I can read her book and map something out.

As far as my thyroid I'm having it all taken out on October 1. The ENT felt there was just too much chance of missing cancer cells due to the large size of the 2 nodules biopsied. Not to mention the many other smaller nodules. I'm hoping once the med's are all adjusted I'll actually be a little less tired, however, since there is an adjustment phase I'm going to try and lose a little weight before to avoid ended up worse than I am now before it's over. I surprisingly feel pretty okay about having surgery even though he gave me every worst case scenario including some that have never happened!

And Away We GO!

2009-08-06T16:51:00.002-05:00

We leave in the morning for our beach trip. I really hope the cabins look like the photos but I'm thinking of taking my own linens just in case. Is that too weird? You'd think I had OCD or something and believe me, one look at my house would prove I don't. In fact I'd love a dose or two to get me in gear!

I've decided we're going to buy the type food we used to take when we went somewhere. Think soft sandwich bread, lunchmeat, potato chips, soda, paper plates, cups AND (if I can find it) those sticky rolls that come in the little tin. Not only will we save money but the boys can have the closest thing to a camping experience I plan to take part in (I hate tents!)

Now if we can just get it all done by morning we're off! We've got the last baseball game in a few minutes, the ice cream party after, another trip to the store to search for pails and shovels, ironing, packing....

Vacation on the Horizon and other Changes in the Air

2009-08-02T21:16:00.003-05:00

Wow, what a busy week it's been as far as changing our lives! Yesterday I finally made a decision on where to stay at Rockport and got the LAST cottage. It's a little smaller than I'd like but it will work. I came up with an idea last night to have Connor and myself sleep in the bedroom and have Mike on the futon with Sean in a sleeping bag. Mike likes to fish late into the night so he and Sean can have their adventure while Connor has privacy in the bedroom (hopefully to keep him asleep). I'm hoping, as other's have experienced, that the sea air will make him sleep like a log! Maybe Mommy can have some Mommy time with a book in the living room once Connor is asleep and the other "kids" are fishing. We'll see...

The other news is we are finally getting a boost in income with Mike starting a new job in 2 weeks. His current employer has cut salaries, cut the car allowance, and raised sales goals so few of the division managers can reach commission level. The new job pays more and includes a vehicle. We may end up trading his truck and my MKX on another leased MKX. This leaves me in a vehicle I'm not crazy about for another 3 years but may be the fastest way to get him out of the truck payment. My vehicle is pretty and luxurious but it's not getting the gas milage and I could really use a little more backseat and cargo room. What I WANT to do is get a nice inexpensive SUV that's about 4-5 years old (per Dave Ramsey) but considering how fast the value of our van we traded last year fell leasing was our best option. We'll see...

Connor is finally doing better on the potty thing. Yesterday we had a few bad accidents but none today so I'm hoping he can go to VBS next week. That will give me extra time to get ready for my trip that weekend. I still need to get my hair done and I haven't even made an appointment yet! Also, I need to lose 20 pounds before our trip this weekend, LOL! Okay, maybe I can go on a fruit diet and lose some water weight...

Vacation--as in we really need one

2009-07-28T15:03:00.003-05:00

Where has the summer gone! My trip is in less than 3 weeks and then school starts the week after and we haven't done a darn thing except not sleep and try and potty train! We really really need to go somewhere since I was unknowingly pregnant the last time we had a vacation. Since Connor is 3 that is way too long. Plus they always have the kids wear a vacation shirt the first week of school and poor Sean never has one.

We need somewhere cheap or else I need to get a job. Of course that would involve paying childcare expense so that's pretty much out. I keep wondering if I could call Port Royal and see if they would make us a deal during the week for a few nights. I know most of those condos are empty so you'd think some money is better than no money right?

Oh well, I've been scouring the internet especially in Rockport as Glenn (my FIL) would like some of his ashes spread there. Since there wasn't a funeral or anything at least it would be some closure for Mike and the boys maybe. ugh, I am just not good at planning plus I don't know when Mike could get off or how we can get this all done before school starts 9/24. This has been a sad sad summer with way too few trips to the gym and gym pool plus almost no excursions anywhere including Fiesta TX. Between lack of sleep and PT I just haven't felt like it. Maybe I can make it up to the kids next week...

Still tired

2009-07-22T12:23:00.005-05:00

That pretty much sums up my summer. I have never been so tired in my life expect possibly right after the boys were born. My doctor insists my thyroid levels are find even though the biopsy was inconclusive but I really wish that was the case. I know I don't sleep well with Mike snoring and Connor up so much but it really is frustrating. I'm frustrated, Mike's annoyed and the boys are totally bored because I'm too tired to take them places. I really wish I had an answer to why I don't have any energy.

Connor is slightly more interested in potty training so I'm hoping, hoping, PRAYING we can get this done before VBS in a few weeks. It's the only one he can go to at his age so I'm hoping he gets to go with Sean. Mommy needs a few hours off! Also, he HAS to be trained before MDO starts in Sept so....pray for us PLEASE!!!!

On a happier note, we had fun at Mike's 25th Reunion Mixer. I only stayed a few hours but Mike got home at 2 AM. I think he had a good time! I also got to see Dawn and Kimberly (college friends) on Sunday and got to go without the kids so it was nice to NOT have to chase children while trying to converse.

On a definitely NOT happy note, Mike's father passed away last Thursday. He's been sick for almost 20 years now and the last few have been pretty bad. His heart finally just stopped Thursday afternoon (he had just been taken into the hospital by EMS). Mike's mother doesn't want a funeral or viewing so it does feel a bit strange, however, it's her choice of course. We may, if she goes through with Glenn's plan, be scattering his ashes down in Rockport in the future. We had planned to take the boys to the beach this summer but may delay a bit until she makes a decision. I think Glenn would like the boys to be involved since he loved his one fishing trip there with Sean. He hasn't been up to another since then and really wanted to spend more time there.

On that note, I've got to get moving. I need ice for Sean's baseball game tonight. It's our turn for snacks! It's his first 5:30 game so it's going to be HOT. It's so HOT that Connor refuses to play soccer. What a waste of money but I guess you can't blame a 3 year old for not wanted to run around in 103 degree heat!

Contemplating God

2009-07-13T19:43:00.008-05:00

Sometimes when I can't sleep I play this mental game where I pick a topic then try to think of a word for each letter of the alphabet. A few weeks back I thought to come up with a name or description of God (the Trinity). This is what I came up with.

A--Adonai
B--Beloved (okay that's maybe reaching but it flows better than bridegroom)
C--Christ
D--Divine
E--El Shaddai
F--Father
G--God
H--Holy
I--Immanuel
J--Jehovah
K--King
L--Lord
M--Messiah
N--Nazarene
O--Omniscient
P--Prince of Peace
Q--?
R--Redeemer
S--Savior
T--Truth
U--Undivided (as in the Trinity 3 in 1)
V--Victor
W--Warrior (think His return to the Mount of Olives)
X--?
Y--Yeshua
Z--Zion

Okay totally reaching on Zion as it's the city of God but I really think the word is beautiful, especially if you sing the song with my W. TX accent that appears at times "I'm marching to ZIIIIyawn, beautiful beautiful ZIIIyawn...

Anyway, I've found my thoughts drifting back to these words and I find they bring me peace. Maybe I've finally learned to meditate on God's Word or in this case my words about God.

Not Me Monday

2009-07-13T11:14:00.003-05:00

Oh it's Monday again and I'm way behind. Looks like I'll be linking up to MckMama somewhere in the 100's or higher!

I did not continue to sleep until 9:30 this morning because it's the first night Connor has slept all night since last Tuesday! Not me, I used the extra time to clean my messy house, get dressed, feed Mike and Sean and do my bible study, NOT!

I am not currently listening to the kids fight downstairs but doing this instead because I haven't yet heard crying.

I am also not praying for the day school and MDO starts because I really really need a break from them, not me, I love every moment with my kids.

I haven't skipped church for a month because Connor refuses to potty train and I noticed he was the only one still bringing a backpack last time we went. Not me, I'd never deprive my soul out of embarrassment at my failings as a Mommy.

That said, I didn't continue to ignore Mike and put underwear on Connor praying he will finally decide it's time only to have him leave a special gift for us on the dining room carpet. That time it certainly wasn't because I took the pull up off and left him in just shorts and NO, Connor is not my puppy but rather my 3 yr old child!

Along the PT route, I have certainly not broken all the rules by using non-positive reinforcement (I mean we have been doing this for 6 mo's now!) and reminding Connor that big boys who go to VBS and school (MDO) can't go if they are wearing baby diapers. That would totally go against everything I've read and, hey darn it, why aren't those experts here at my house doing this for me anyway!

I didn't happen to mention to Mike last night that if Connor couldn't go to MDO in the fall because of the PT issue I was just gonna sell him. Seriously, who would want a spoiled rotten, non-sleeping, non-potty trained 3 year old. On the other hand he does have the prettiest eyes and I love his kisses, and when he falls asleep in my arms his little mouth is so cute...Okay, I guess I'll have to keep him even if he goes in Kinder in pull ups!

Wow, I know I didn't just write that many Not Me's about my PT issues with Connor. I'm not one of those boring SAHM's with nothing else to talk about. I have opinions and thoughts on the world today (does going to hell in a handbasket mean anything to you--see that's why I do my Not Me's about PT not the president!)

New Names

2009-07-12T17:22:00.008-05:00

In keeping with the anonymity of so may other Blog Mommies out there I've decided to start using descriptive names for my family instead of our actual names. Henceforth we shall be known respectively as

Hyperdrive-- stopped only by bad choices that requires parental intervention

Mr. Independent-- wants to do everything by himself except sleep at night and potty train

Sir Snores Alot-- the big one, notice how strong and well rested he looks

And of course Mommy Grouchy and Too Tired to Exercise (soon to be known as "Mommy too fat to fit in her clothes" if something doesn't change!)
And yes, this whole blog is just alot of silliness!

Not Me Monday--Finally

2009-07-06T09:46:00.003-05:00

Woo hoo, I finally remembered before Monday night!

That said, I have not missed Not Me Monday for months now--but religiously read My Charming Kids to keep up with Stellan and all the fun at MckMama's house!

I have not been ultimately lazy lately. Sleeping in and doing next to nothing on the 4th. Not me, I always have loads of energy.

It could not possibly be because my 3 yr old has yet again been up at night wanting Mommy to sleep with him. As I've said before, I completely sleep train my kids at 6 mo's of age ; )

I have not been making regular trips to the pool with my boys. Not me, the Mommy who refuses to don a swimsuit until she is a size 6 again. That said I certainly have not made sure all my suits include shorts or skirts that at least "help" cover the most offensive parts!

At the pool I have not been going to, I have not become one of those women who thinks "oh, she's too skinny and at least mine are real" No I'd never be so catty and immature to put down others to make my chubby self feel better!

Besides the gym and the multiple sports games I have to attend I haven't retreated into the house due to the 100 degree daily temperatures. Not me, I love the scalding heat!

I have so many more to add but for now I need to get dressed for my exercise class. Maybe I'll get into that size 6 by Christmas. The way the temperatures are in TX this year it may still be in the 90's then!

Pincushion Day

2009-06-30T14:30:00.005-05:00

Tody I finally, after 10 weeks of waiting, got my biopsy. Not the results mind you, just the fun needle sticking part. The results will be in next week. Anyway, because my nodules are fluid filled my doctor likes to drain them. So instead of a quick little prick to get cells to test, I get repeated pricks drawing out fluid. Not don't picture it, just feel sorry for me: ) My SIl is in town and wonders why they don't just remove the darn thing since I have all these nodules. She thinks I will feel better if they do. I asked but apparently so many people have nodules the doctors here don't remove until they feel it is necessary. Surgery is always scary but it would be nice to feel less tired. Of course it may be something completely different. I'll know in 7 days what they found.

Connor was in my bed again last night. Well I should say our bed but Mike sleeps through almost anything so it was mostly my sleeping that suffered. I know I baby him but I just don't seem to have the energy to sleep train him. Maybe next week, we'll see. They boys are with Mike at the gym right now and I should be napping but I had to get my pumpkins harvested. That's an interesting statement isn't it. It's a Facebook game and it takes more time than I should give it. I'm just waiting for my brother and SIL to get here. They are visiting for a few days but were smart enough not to stay with us--thus missing Connor's middle of the night waking!

I did book my tickets to CA so I guess I will take my mini-vacation in August. I am really really looking forward to it. I need to get motivated because I want to make some special things for my cousins and take with me. Mike has a 3 day weekend so maybe I'll get something done then--ha, ha!

Connor at Fiesta Texas

Sean in his new tournament uniform

My little nudist

2009-06-08T20:42:00.003-05:00

And no, I am NOT sharing photos. I was seriously tempted when he was in the swing and things were strategically covered but...

Connor just loves to disrobe. First he went in the backyard this morning to play in the wading pool. I told him to wear his knit shorts that he had on. Next thing I know shorts and undies are laying on the ground and there he is in all his glory. This afternoon, he started in a swimsuit but again, there he goes naked. He swings naked, he sits in the rocks naked, he chases the dog naked. If the trampoline wasn't "out of order" I'm sure he'd jump naked. Why do I put up with it? I'm secretly hoping I can use his nakedness to finally get him potty trained. The kids is Mr. Independent in everything else (except of course sleeping by him self at all times--I still join him about once every week or two) and is completely capable of going potty but he still resists.

Sean was not naked boy except before bathtime. I kept him completely clothed at all times. In fact he also refused to potty train. Hmmm... maybe it's mama who has the issue--okay, I already knew it was me as I'm not good at structure. Therefore, I kept him fully dressed so no one would notice the boy who looked to be 5 or 6 (he was 3 1/2 when he trained, just tall) wearing a diaper. I just knew Connor would be out of diapers before his third birthday. I even heard about a technique to train kids under 1--of course I never tried it as I heard you had to take them to the potty every 30 minutes for up to a year! He can potty by his brother, his dad, on his own, in the backyard, in the neighbors front yard...but if Mommy asks he runs.

Hopefully, we will have a breakthrough soon. I'm trying the underwear route while we are at home. We had to discard one pair completely today (it was small anyway) but the next pair made it until he decided to run naked. Not sure where he pottied after that!

Chuck-e-Cheese

2009-06-07T20:25:00.010-05:00

We had the boys birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese a few weeks ago. With 2 May birthdays and Memorial Day getting in the way I decided to combine them. Chuck-e-Cheese was so great to work with us considering that we were getting RSVP's the morning of the party--and it started at 10 AM! We ended up paying for 20 kids but there were closer more like 25-30 if you count siblings. The boys loved it!

Please excuse the lousy photos. When Mike killed the computer virus a few months back it seems to have killed my photo editor as well and I haven't gotten a new program yet!

pictures

2009-06-03T20:53:00.004-05:00

Typical Deel Famiy photo. Mike and the boys and Mommy behind the camera!

Sweet Connor at the skating rink a few minutes before Mommy (on skates) fell down while holding him and slammed her head into the hard ground. Well, he wanted UP!

Whoo-hooo the boys are in bed so Mommy can watch the final of Make Me a Supermodel all by herself, uninterrupted. I'm so easily excited! What a nerd...

Why do I feel like a slacker

2009-05-30T13:51:00.004-05:00

Saturday morning 8:30 AM. I'm up and going. Mike is downstairs with Sean. Connor is wanting Mommy so I go in and get him up, dress him, and take him downstairs. Back upstairs to put on minimal makeup for the grocery store. Shorts, t-shirt, glasses (my eye is still not totally healed from the corneal abrasion), start a load of laundry and out the door for the grocery store. Go to the big HEB so I'll have a better choice of produce so it takes an hour and a half to shop. Whew! As I'm heading for the register Mike calls for me to bring motor oil for the lawnmower (YAY, he's going to mow). Come home and unlock the gate and both backdoor locks (they don't match so require 2 keys) with my hands full of groceries. Haul in all the groceries and start unloading.

Sean is still in his jammies. The dishes are in the sink, on the counter, on the table. Put up the groceries. Put the dishes up. Pick up the counters. Give the boys a snack. Pick up miscellaneous trash--bags, boxes, magazines. Clean table. Sit down to have my first meal of the day--tea, cheese, and a peach. Stop to get Sean grapes as Connor has taken over his and won't share. Eat a few more bites and scan the paper. Send the boys outside. Go outside and tell Sean to stop spraying down Connor and the backdoor. Tell Sean to clean out the containers he put dirt and rocks in that need to be used for toy storage. Get Sean soap, a washcloth and give him instructions. Return with a washcloth for Connor. Eat a few more bites. Go outside and tell Sean to clean the containers not sit in them. Wash the fruit and arrange in a bowl for the table. Clean Connor up and get him lunch. Clean Sean up and get him lunch. Dig through the hall closet for gift bags for the birthday party at 4 and the baby shower at 6. Discover the baby shower bag is damaged. Attempt to fix it with a well placed bow. Discover the birthday gift will only fit in the Spongebob bag. Debate wrapping paper. Discard idea as there are only blue, green and red ribbons (just remembered there is ribbon upstairs--too late). Fill Spongebob bag with pink tissue paper to cover the pink car Sharpey (HS Musical) is driving. Hope that is girly enough.

Go upstairs to get blanket to wash. Decide to blog. Get followed by Sean. Threaten him with no party so he'll go downstairs with Connor and give me 5 minutes. Talk to Mike twice on his way home from Walmart. Finally blog for 5 minutes. Think about how I really need to go potty but forgot about it again for the last 30 minutes while I did other things. Look at the disaster which is my home and wonder why it's so messy on the day I planned to clean it.

****SIGH**** wonder why I feel like I've done absolutely nothing today and it's almost time to get ready for the party.

Quandry

2009-05-01T19:09:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm already totally lost about what is normal and paranoid in this whole Swine Flu thing (please note that the school district 10 minutes from my house along with 3others w/in 30 minutes are closed due to actual confirmed cases). Now I have another situation on my hands that I'm at a total loss about.

Today when I was picking up Connor my friend walked in to get her daughter. I was hoping to see her as she called me earlier. I hadn't called back because I laid down for awhile after my workout class AND helping at Sean's school today (I mentioned that so I won't seem lazy:) We were talking when the director came up to her and took her daughter. Me being oblivious I thought the director was just hugging on her little girl. We headed out and stopped in front of the director's office. That's when I realized they thought something was wrong with my friend and were trying to keep her from taking her daughter home. She seemed fine to me, well, until this all started.

Anyway, she was freaking out and finally told the director to give her her daughter and not to do anything like that again. The director told her they'd talked about it before but did give in. However, she asked me to follow them home. We went into the parking lot and talked for about 20 minutes. She looked tired but not as tired as I was the day before when Connor had slept with me for 2 nights and I had spent my sleep time dodged his kicks. She had told me of one incident where they told her she looked wobbly and she had taken an allergy pill but that was months ago and she insists that was the only time it had come up. She said she was tired because her daughter was up last night. She wants me to back her up at a meeting with them Monday, but my opinion was that I'd take my daughter out of MDO if someone treated me like that.

BUT...I have noticed she is somewhat scatterbrained sometimes. There was one day when she told me the same story 4 different times. She has been known to call me repeatedly and talk on and on and on, sometimes telling me the same thing over and over. I just passed it off to her being a little ditsy. I had another friend like that except in her case she tended to forget everything I ever told her including big things. I just thought she was ditsy and self-centered and thought the same thing about this friend. Now I'm wondering if the director knows something I should know. I'm very uncomfortable about the situation although I spent quite some time reassuring her on the phone this afternoon that she seemed fine to me--and today she did. On the second call though we did go over several of the same issues some of which I thought she had already decided on but now seemed to have forgotten. This is troublesome.

I'm going to try and do some heavy-duty praying this weekend and hopefully God is going to intervene and I won't have to deal with it. Since she also wants me to move Connor to a private school I don't think we can afford I do need some intervention!

I hate Swine Flu!

2009-04-29T17:33:00.002-05:00

Ahhhh, I hate this stuff. Three districts within 15 minutes of my house are closed with confirmed cases. So, if I can get to one of those schools in 10 minutes why is Sean's district not closed. Should it be closed. Should I keep the boys home. Am I being paranoid or sane to not take Connor to childcare at the gym where kids are always sick with something. What about MDO? What about my date night Saturday night? Will the babysitter still come? Should the babysitter come--she goes to school in a closed school district? The kids will be sleeping though so won't be exposed. Am I supposed to wear a mask to Midnight Rodeo? Can I find one to go with my new sexy but not too sexy purple shirt? Will it go with my new haircut that I don't like and can't do anything with?

Why is Connor crying and will he sleep tonight or instead kick and roll on me like last night? Why is Sean so hyper tonight and can I get him to go to bed at 6:30--just kidding. Is the UN really trying to make spanking child abuse because I'm seriously thinking of taking it up today.

Finally, even if Connor lets me sleep can I or will I stay up obsessing over the news like I did last night--which explains why I'd just gone to sleep at 1 when Connor woke up. Now, I have to go and deal with the unruly older child who apparently hit the younger one then decided to hammer cap gun whatever they are on Mike's glass desk. Heaven help me!

Nothing special

2009-04-23T16:11:00.002-05:00

I'm not blogging about anything special today. I just thought since I'm hiding upstairs on the computer I'd actually post something for a change! I picked Sean up a little early today as the first grade had a Fiesta Float Parade. The floats were made from shoe boxes. I usually recycled mine so I had to steal one from Mike's closet that was filled with important items I'm sure I'll hear about moving (golf towels, a scrap of t-shirt with shoe polish on it and those shampoos you get at hotels). Sean insisted on his Sonic stuffed animal riding in it. Since Sonic took up about half the box I didn't really have to do much else. I wrapped it in brightly striped tissue paper and let him glue on some fuzzy balls. We finally scrounged up 4 wheels after searching the house and Mike glued them to tinker toy sticks and stuck them through the box. Lastly I we stuck various bows and ribbons on to cover up holes and such. The parade was really cute--through the halls at his school--and Connor stayed still and watched it all.

We were supposed to have a "playdate" with our neighbor but something came up and they haven't come over. I'm not sure why I call it a playdate since really we just trade houses a few times a week but since we're with the boys I guess it's not exactly the same as when I was little and we just showed up at our friends door to ask them to play. It's great though because Connor loves Ricky as much as Sean and Natalie doesn't mind if my boys are wild and crazy at her house. Good thing too with my wild children.

Poor Connor has had to be at Kidspace twice this week. Yesterday was my day to help Sean's teacher and today I finally got my hair cut. I haven't had my color done since last summer except for when I did it myself. It looked okay in the mirror but when I'd see a photo it was way too red. Now that my hair is fixed I guess I'll have to work on the extra weight I really notice in the photo. Not that I haven't tried. I was going to the gym serious for quite a while but things just keep getting in the way. Not to mention that Connor screams when I leave him. Both boys are home tomorrow (it's Fiesta Battle of Flowers Parade, an official school holiday here in SA) but with Connor having been at Kidspace twice and the gym once already I think I'd better not go. Or maybe I'm just looking for excuses.

Okay, it's way too quiet downstairs. I dread going down to see what's been done. Oh, there's crying so I'd better run. Mike has a business dinner so in 3 more hours I can give them a bath and rest. Why does that sound like an eternity????

Feelin' sorry for myself

2009-04-15T13:08:00.002-05:00

I don't know what is with me today. I'm just draggy and feeling down. Actually, it's probably related to my doctor visit yesterday. I really thought she would just check my thyroid and tell me it felt fine like the last visit. Instead it was an ultrasound and, unfortunately, didn't look fine at all. The nodules have filled again and she is concerned about one of the growths that was inconclusive before because it didn't have enough cells. Apparently now it does. To make things even more fun I have to wait until June 30 to even get the biopsy.

Now logically, I know this is because it is not a dire situation. If they find something the will just remove my thyroid. In fact even if they don't they will remove it anyway if the nodule fills after they drain it this time (yuck right!). I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself because it looks like somewhere in the next 3-12 months I will most likely be having it removed. Even worse, my levels are still normal so I can't even blame it for not losing weight even thought I'm really seriously working out right now. Once they remove it I'm stuck on medication the rest of my life and from what I read it's a fun time trying to get the levels right.

Anyway, that's my sob story for today. Not much in the way of problems I know but it's bringing me down. Which in turn makes me feel whiney and ungrateful when I think about people with real problems!

Lazy, lazy Mommy

2009-04-01T12:30:00.002-05:00

I woke up today tired. COme to think of it I was tired yesterday as well. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Or maybe it has to do with all the oak pollen coming down on my yard!

I dressed for Bible Study but before I dressed Connor I realized I just felt too lousy to go. I'm still draggin 3 hours later. I need to go to Hobby Lobby but I don't feel like changing out of my old sweats. Connor on the other hand, removed his diaper, then went pee-pee in his pants. At this point he just wants to be naked--those are his words--and I'm being too lazy to care. I'm so ready for that child to potty train but he's still resisting. I know I need to consistenly keep him on Miralax for a few weeks but when it does kick in it KICKS IN and I hate to keep giving it to him. Hopefully, if I go 2 weeks straight, leaving the potty training out of the equation, then I can try again. I'd like to have him out of diapers before his birthday in May. Not to mention there is at least 1 and maybe more VBS's he can attend if he's out of diapers.

I didn't sign either boys up for anything this summer to try and save some money. I hope it doesn't backfire. I've already decided we'll spend alot of time at Fiesta TX--paid for already--the gym--not giving it up now that I'm actually going consistently--and our neighborhood pool. Which means I have to come to terms with my body in a swimsuit in public. If I don't we'll spend a fortune on Chuck-e-Cheese and movies this year and negate skipping MDO!

Okay, guess I need to go and dress for Hobby Lobby so I'll have time before Sean is out of school. I also need to call my friend back who has already called twice, once during bedtime last night, since I talked to her for an hour yesterday. She's lovely but she does like to spend hours on the phone and I just don't always have the energy!

Not Me Monday

2009-03-30T08:43:00.006-05:00

I did not get up the other night to check MckMama's twitter then comment about it on my FB page.

When Commenting I did not include the web address in case anyone else wanted to learn about Stellan and most important pray for him and his healing.

Because I did not refer to him as MckMuffin and bring up "our" MckMiracle, I did not inadvertently cause a long-lost friend from elementary school to go to the site and mistakenly think I was MckMama and Stellan my child!

I did not cry yesterday looking through MckMama's updated name gallery and marvel at the people around the world that MckMama and Stellan have touched.

I was not laying in bed last night with my mind going a mile a minute when I paused, once again, to pray for Stellan and two very distinct thoughts came, pray and fast.

I have certainly not had little conversations with God about how I spent a year praying for Ethan Powell and that THIS time I think He should decide His miracle will be to let Stellan stay with his family happy, healthy, and whole!

Ticked beyond belief

2009-03-28T10:20:00.013-05:00

Actually, another word would better describe my feelings right now. BUT since MckMama used it recently and her situation is truly so much more than mine I'll leave it to her.

I know I never blog anymore. I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with FB, although all I ever have time to do is check it and field Sweet Shop requests, and things like THE LAUNDRY. Anyway, this morning I got up when I heard Connor's door close and he didn't come into my bedroom. He had headed downstairs and I could hear the sounds of Sean's DS, and Sean yelling, coming up the stairs. I knew there was no snuggling in my future so I went down as well. Surprisingly, Sean chose eggs over Cinnamon Rolls so I decided to attempt to make a fritatta without a recipe. Fortunately, I made one a few months back so it turned out well (I kind of remembered the ingredients!).

Finally, I sit down to read the paper. It's not much anymore but my family has been reading the Express News since way before I was born. The Life section was fine, not much content but I love the advice columns. Glanced through the Real Estate section to see all the deals on the houses we can't buy because with the market we probably couldn't sell ours anyway--thus the deals on the other houses! All is well until I head to the Metro section.

Page 3 the top of the page reads: GOP backs abortion bill, averts its (sic) eyes from CPS. Hmmmmm.... It's about the bill, hallelujah, to require doctors perform an ultrasound on women considering an abortion including the sound of the heartbeat. The next paragraph reads: "Call it the "harass people coping with tragedy" bill..."

I tried to read the rest of the article but to be honest I was so angry I couldn't see straight. Rather than continuing to work myself up I'm just going to paste in the letter I sent to the editor of the paper (the column was written by the politics/government editor). Since San Antonio is still a fairly conservative family oriented city (not to mention predominantly Catholic) I assume Mr. Richter (the editor of the paper Mr. Stroud wrote the column) will be inundated with calls and emails but at least I had my say. Now if I can just let it go so I can enjoy my newspaper free weekend! And they wonder why people turn to FOX...

(I forgot a heading but since it's directly emailed I think he'll know it's to him)
Okay, that's it, I'm done. You have finally pushed me to the point that I will no longer read your newspaper. I refuse to have a paper in my home that would allow the editorial Mr. Stroud wrote for today's paper.

A tragedy is having your home destroyed by a hurricane, fire, tornado, etc. A tragedy is a fine doctor, family, child, or any innocent person killed by a repeat drunk driver. A tragedy is losing a child, father, mother or anyone you love to a fatal disease. Being pregnant is NOT a tragedy. Choosing to abort an innocent child is a tragedy to me. Even more so, choosing to abort a child when you are young, ill-informed, and brain-washed by our society that it is not a child at all, only to realize after you make this horrible choice that you have in fact aborted your child is a TRAGEDY. This bill will allow pregnant women a better understanding of the choice they are making but still, unfortunately, allows them the right to make that choice.

Allowing an editor to spout off with his pro-abortion, hatefilled rhetoric is a tragedy to me as my family has been loyal Express News readers since before I was even born. I'm so angry and disgusted I'm shaking as I type this. I read only the first two paragraphs to my husband and he immediately told me to cancel our subscription. As he said, we can get any news we want online. Perhaps you should have considered your readership, and lack thereof, before you allowed Mr. Stroud to spout off. Despite the views of the media, I believe many in our beautiful city will find this offensive beyond belief.

Deborah Deel

Okay, shoot, apparently my email spellcheck is lacking and doesn't know the word rhetoric (but Blogspot's does). Wait I even double checked on word. So now I've emailed a letter to the editor of the paper with a spelling typo, drat, drat,drat!!!!

Not Me Monday

2009-03-16T19:12:00.004-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I am not doing my first Not Me Monday post in forever!

I certainly did not cry and end up leaving church when I was questioned on whether or not my 2 year old was potty trained yet. Apparently they want to move him out of the nursery and "only 2 in the new class aren't already potty trained".

I'm not fairly annoyed because I had already explained the doctor had asked me to wait a month or two until the laxative he prescribed did it's job. I know I should have a more christian attitude, right???

I'm not annoyed because my DH is on the phone with me and I want to finish my Not Me's. I'm a sweet loving wife who always wants to talk to my hubby!

I was not a total whiney baby this weekend because it was my birthday and I was tired of never getting a cake or dinner. I got the cake but still had to make my own birthday dinner anyway. I of course feel terrible about being so whiney , except I don't since I really never make a big deal over it so once in 15 yrs of marriage isn't bad!

I didn't laugh when I saw MckMamas snow spring break picture and realize I was lucky to just have cold and rain over ours.

I didn't feel like dancing for joy on our trip to Fiesta TX (a few hours before the cold weather hit) because both boys LOVED Wiggle World. I didn't contemplate writing a thank you note to the Wiggles over in Australia. I also haven't made mental plans to go every week this summer to make the $250 I've already spent on passes worth it!

I don't totally love Facebook after not signing up for so long. Even if it's just cyber communication it's fun to keep up with family and catch up with old friends. Now if I can just not get my feelings hurt if someone doesn't accept my friend request so I'll feel more free to make them.

I'm not considering cutting my hair to my shoulders because DH loves it long and I just grew it out. I also don't secretly think I'm starting to look like an old lady with long hair!!!!

I'm not so done because DH is out of town and I want to put the boys to sleep early. Darn that Congress and their early DST. It looks like the middle of the day outside still! I'm so not contemplating blackout curtains for ALL the windows including the arch over the door. Oh well, at least the drought killed all the grass so the neighbor won't start his mowing at 8 tonight!

AWOL

2009-03-03T18:18:00.004-06:00

I've been ignoring my blog lately because I just joined Facebook and it is taking up all of my time! I was asked to get on by some cousins and it has been soooo fun keeping up with their lives. I only have 29 friends though because I'm kind of hesitent to ask someone to "be my friend". Maybe it's that fear of cyber rejection. I think I've been accepted by all the people I've asked. Of course I've only asked one person that I "found" by searching. Everyone else I am either related to, came out of my email addresses (meaning I know them well enough to email them so we must be friends), or came off someone elses FB site. I was surprised at home many people pulled off my email list. Lots of people from my church including the pastor but I only asked a few to be "my friends".

I have only one mystery friend. He asked, I said yes, and I assumed he was in the frat I was a little sister for--he came over from a little sister's page. I don't think he is but he must be a nice guy because he has over 700 friends. Fortunately, I already went over the situation with Mike so he knows why this guy is my "friend". Other than that the only guys are 2 Sig Ep's, Mike's best friend from high school, a friend of Mike's from church (my work-out partner's husband) and relatives. So far only a few people have come looking for me. We'll see if I stay with it better than my blog!

Not Me Monday!

2009-02-23T06:16:00.003-06:00

Finally!

This is not my first Not Me Monday in a MONTH! No, I faithfully blog

I did not go over 3 weeks without internet access because I dreaded the hours long call to ATT.

I did not finally call the second time to "show" DH how "EASY" it was because I was annoyed at him. No not me, I'm a loving obedient wife.

I did not then actually have ATT FIX my computer in an hour.

I was not then very late to bible study.

I am not doing 3-4 workouts a week because I don't want to let my friend down even though I'm tired! Did I mention she can run 6 miles, in one run, and she picks killer classes that even the instructor warns are HARD!

I have not, however, lost ANY weight even though I'm exhausted from working out.

I am not worried that I am traumatizing Connor because he cries every time I leave him in childcare. I added it up, it's not more than 11 hours a week total if I go to every workout class, bible study, church and drop him at MDO on Friday. Most kids go every weekday to daycare so I can't be a bad Mom for 11 hours a week right?

I'm not trying to do Bible Study from 10-11:15 AND make it to an 11:15 workout class just to make everyone, except Connor, happy.

I haven't been up since 4 AM because I've decided I probably need my Effexor and it's totally messing with my sleep. I'm going to be wiped out by lunch BUT I'll get a workout in and I got my Not Me's done early.

I'll probably still NOT be in the first column on MckMama's blog because I'll forget to get back on and link.

I didn't finally join Facebook at the request of my cousins because I'm so lonely for family I can't stand it.

I'm not totally overwhelmed by everything Facebook offers. No, I'm totally tech and internet savvy and certainly NOT old!

I'm not doing a study called, Do You Think I'm Beautiful, and blown away by people's perceptions of themselves and wondering why by comparison I don't think I'm beautiful. Okay, is that vain? I spent my whole life trying not to be vain so, hey--maybe that's my issue, hmmm...

Okay, I'm not done for now because I'm going to try and sneak in 30 minutes before it's time to dress Sean.

Finally back

2009-02-22T14:20:00.002-06:00

I'm finally back online. Yeah! I have some things I want to "talk" about but I'm busy signing up for Facebook right now so I'll have to come back later. I ahdn't planned on signing up but I have some cousins who are very active and on it so it's a good way to keep up with them.

I've got some great photos of the boys I need to post so I'll try and download them later. Also, I'll get back with my thoughts on perceptions.

No Internet Service

2009-02-11T20:11:00.004-06:00

Our computer was attacked by a virus last month and now I have not been able to connect to the Internet for 3 weeks. I can only get online when Mike is home and not using his laptop. I had no idea it would drive me this crazy.

I've been on the phone with ATT and that was not the most fun I have had let me tell you. Due to the language situation, the fact that it was obvious I was not speaking to someone living in the USA, the conversation was so slow. After half and hour of nothing I gave up.

I just got on tonight to pay bills before Mike leaves again in the morning. I downloaded some photos to his laptop so I thought I'd find something of the boys to post.

oops, looks like they didn't download. This is the only one. I think I've posted it before but it's still cute so here goes!

I'll play Janet--25 random things about Me

2009-02-02T18:30:00.008-06:00

Okay Janet here's 25 things about me.

1. I hate my name, technically I hate my nickname and literally it is because of an adult movie. So, it's not that I want to be formal with you that I go by Deborah
2. I don't know what color my hair really is anymore.
3. My hair has been 4 different colors in the last 7 days.
4. Contrary to what I thought, I do not look good as a REDHEAD
5. I desperately need a pedicure
6. I must have something to read at all times or I get nervous and edgy
7. I can take off wallpaper, replaster a wall, paint and faux finish a wall, AND it looks good
8. The part I hate most about the above process is taping the woodwork before painting
9. I have always been one of those overly proud native Texans in my heart but I try to temper it so as not to be overly obnoxious (even though my family has been in the state since the 1830's and forever--Comanche on my dad's side--respectively)
10. I love pizza
11. Right this minute I would love a Diet Coke or a Margarita
12. I drink up to 3 diet cokes every day--yikes! But only about 1 Margarita a year.
13. I love to dance, especially country, and as hard as this is for me to say, I'm very good at it even though I go about once every 2-3 years.
14. I'm not very high-tech but I love blogging
15. I love hot bubble baths with a good book
16. I love to shop, especially for bargains and I can almost guarantee every piece of clothing in my closet was on sale.
17. When I am tired, sick or tipsy my West Texas accent gets much stronger--and I secretly love that. Hmmmm, does that mean I should drink more? JK
18. I wrote a children's book 8 years ago but have never submitted it to a publisher because I'm afraid it's not good enough.
19. I am way too critical of myself
20. If I could start over I'd have kids way sooner and have at least 1 more.
21. I love to redecorate but I have a hard time getting started
22. People think I am outgoing and friendly but inside I am really shy and lonely
23. When I am thinner and blonder I look exactly like Charlotte Ross (NYPD Blues)
24. I think this time I may really really start something instead of just thinking and worrying about it. So look for info on my children's clothes coming to this blog soon.
25. I wish I knew what God had planned for my life before I chose to veer off course. I also worry because I think I "talk a good game" about Christianity but am lacking in my personal study and worship with Christ. I do have high hopes to work on that relationship this year.

Serious Life Magazine

2009-02-01T21:07:00.000-06:00

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They publish the February issue tomorrow, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.

The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia (www.riggsfamilyblog.com). The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.

Again, the subscription is free, and I know you’ll enjoy the magazine, so take a minute to check it out and sign up to get future issues.

Listen to your Mother

2009-01-25T19:55:00.008-06:00

How many times have I regretted not listening to my mother! My mother wanted to teach me to sew. My mother wanted to teach me to cook. My mother told me to take Home Ec and Spanish. I wasn't that rebellious, but for some reason I never let my mother teach me to sew. I never let my mother teach me to cook. I took Drama and French.

Fast forward past adolescence. I still didn't let my mother teach me to cook. Of course she cooked mostly by recipe and I have those. When I take the time I CAN cook well but I tend to get distracted. Also, I can't find a few key recipes that I want to have. I did want to learn to sew but by the time I asked for guidance my niece had broken the sewing machine. As for the classes in school, well, I'm a SAHM in San Antonio so you can imagine HOW useful Drama and French are to me in my life today.

I'm trying to find something to do to help pay off our debt. I'm not sure where it is our money has gone since Mike actually made more last year than ever before, but go it did. Considering the fact that I have a College education and worked full time for the first 8 years of our marriage, I find it frustrating that I'm not contributing. Add that to the fact that I am not the most domestic goddess that has ever existed. Okay, who am I kidding, I don't invite people over because I don't want them to know how bad I let our house get! Anyway, I am creative so I'd like to find an outlet to bring in a few bucks AND make me feel I'm accomplishing something that lasts more than a day. Cleaning the house, cleaning the clothes, and grocery shopping seem to have to be repeated constantly and give me little sense of worth.

I made some cute T-shirts for Connor's class. I'd been experimenting with ideas for t-shirts, especially Christian t-shirts, for kids when I ran across this great craft idea on another blog--Chronicles of a Mommy, I have her button on my blog and she is such an inspiration. I really liked the way the shirts looked so I made a onsie for Sean's teacher's daughter. It was too cute (wish I'd taken a photo). Anyway, I'd really like to make and sell these shirts but it would be so much easier if I could use a sewing machine. I like the look I get doing it by hand but should I actually get many orders I'd be in trouble fast.

My normal MO would be to fret and worry about this and never do anything about it. However, a new friend recently told me she thought I was really laid back when I mentioned how I am a worrier. Perhaps I have changed in the last 3 years. I'd always wondered how I'd make it without my mother and now, well, perfect or imperfect I'm making it. Short of being late to school a few times and the fact that I tend to pay the bills late, I haven't yet burned down the house or ran away. Maybe this is the time in my life to try something without first imagining all the worst case scenarios (of course how bad could it be with kids shirts!)

I really want to put myself out there and do something, so maybe I will. Sean's teacher keeps asking me to start a business so she can buy from me and there are lots of mommies teaching at his school so... AND I did have a lady in charge of crafts at her MOPS group ask me to call her about organizing a craft when she saw me and Connor in our cross shirts at Target last fall(I used bleach and really didn't do a good job AT ALL, but she still liked them). So I'm thinking about whipping up some shirts and giving her a call since she told me to bring some to sell as well as teach a craft. Don't know if she would still be interested, but maybe I should check.

Of course it would be so much easier if I just knew how to at least sew a straight line on a sewing machine. Yes, Mother, you were SOOO right!

Musings...

2009-01-21T20:57:00.002-06:00

Okay, maybe my hair is a little red. We have horrible lighting in our house and it's still hard to get a good look in the rearview mirror of the car. Guess I need to take a mirror outside to look.

On another note I made it through a kick-boxing class and only had to skip a few moves due to my "skating" injury. Dh is still admitting that he needs to figure out a better response to my emergency situations. On the other hand I thought after the staph infection tried to kill me 2 years ago he would have already figured that one out so we'll see. Anyway, back to the class. The real issue I had was jumping or jarring moves. I can't figure out what I did exactly. Maybe bruised the bone just below the base of my back. Anyway, lunges to the left were also out of the question. Other than that the worst thing was when I got hot and sweat dripped onto the scratches down my side. Ouch!

This weekend we'll be talking to some friends about possibly starting a business venture together. Mike's friend is interested in a Medical Spa (he's in the medical field and owns a home healthcare company rated high nationally for quality!) and his wife loves kids and was talking about a drop-in care place. I know that there are currently 3 within 10 minutes from our neighborhood so I'm going to talk to her about a play place as the nearest one just closed. I know all the issues I had with it and I've talked to and overheard lots of other moms talking about play places.

Now I'm all excited with tons of ideas and I don't know if it's even going anyplace. Plus I want to design it not work there all the time so I don't know how that would work out even if it is a go. I certainly don't want to put Connor in daycare so I can run a place for kids to play so we'll see.

Oh yeah, Janet tagged me. I'll deal with that in the morning since my keyboard is way too loud and I don't want to wake Connor. I also need a laptop along with a million other little things around here. But with property taxes due NEXT week I'm about to send most of our savings to the state.

Very Frustrating Day

2009-01-20T18:13:00.003-06:00

I wonder how many people are feeling the same type of frustration I am today. Today in the US we have our first bi-racial President. I totally get that it is a big deal that our country has finally gotten to the point that we can elect someone who does not fall somehow into the same "box" as previous presidents. I couldn't vote for him. I am a Republican and would like to say I don't vote based on party but that would pretty much be a lie now days. I feel very strongly about a few issues and I cannot in good conscience vote for anyone who would strengthen the party that is as polar opposite from my beliefs as is possible.

Other than those few beliefs I am actually pretty liberal. Just don't tell my husband. No seriously, I think I inherited it from my mother. Since I have become a mother myself I personally think it is appalling that the government spends so much money on "Pork" which should be termed payback for votes and contribution. Seriously, did you know one of the smaller things I read about recently was $500K for Tea Pot Museum. Not that I have anything against tea or pots for that matter (provided you're not talking about marajuana) but come on, there are children with nothing to eat! As a friend pointed out that might be their parent's fault. Okay, that's true but in our nation we should take away some of the money wasted by Congress on stupid stuff and do something about children in need (my husband will tell you not to let me get on my soapbox about NEA grants to individual artists--I mean come on get a job waiting tables and paint your pictures at night already). And if that means taking them away from irresponsible parents that do not provide them with basic needs (if it is through their parent's lazines or lifestyle choices) then so be it. We've had way top many children returned to rehabilitated parents who them beat them to death for me to think it is necessarily worse for a child to be raised by someone else.

I'm not even, shhh this one is a secret though, totally against some way for everyone to be provided healthcare provided they are doing something worthwhile in the world. Working, raising children, making some sort of contribution to society. I don't think Europe necessarily has it right though. I'm afraid something that made sense requires entirely too much plain old common sense than may be possible so I don't know how it could be done.

Now, why do I feel frustrated. I'm open to plenty of somewhat "socialistic" measures by government. I should have been about to vote for President Obama. Unfortunately, the issue which in my heart MUST govern all my political decisions is Abortion. This is shockingly not the mindset I was raised with. This is something I came to feel strongly about as an adult wondering who decided when a baby is a baby and why it's a baby if it's wanted and a fetus or inconvenience when it's not. I couldn't figure out the answer so I decided there was something wrong with what the world was feeding me as an okay thing. After having children and learning about the developement of a child and then learning more about the numbers, procedure and Lord Help Us All, what Partial-birth Abortion is, honestly just the thought that we are allowing this to be done is beyond, well I have no words.

Because President Obama is so extreme Pro-Abortion I could not vote for him if he was Black (African American? someone PLEASE tell me which is not offensive because I really really care), Asian, Anglo, purple, striped or a little green man from Mars. BUT because I did not vote for him I have this nagging fear that people will think I am racist. Or even perhaps that part of me is.

I was not raised by racist parents. And when I say that I don't mean Archie Bunker racists, I mean those anglo people who claim to be open-minded but in their home, with their friends, or just in their heart they really judge people by race. I'm not perfect by any means myself. I admit to, when dealing with a certain type of person within a race (every race has them as far as I'm concerned) I may not have in my mind used a racist remark. I don't think any race, nationality, culture, etc. can ever be defined by stereotypes but you know,you just get annoyed and think an ugly thought. My mother got through to my father back in the 60's about Dr. King by appealing to his Christian beliefs. If she could get a man born in 1912 in Texas to GET that God loves everyone and no one is better than any other she could certainly teach her child that.

That is why today I want to be happy. I want to celebrate that maybe we are slowly moving toward being colorblind. I can't. I can't because I am concerned about what is to come. I can just pray that President Obama surprises me. I can pray we make it through the next 4 to 8 years with not too much more moral damage being done to our world. The one my precious boys are growing up in. And I can hope that people understand why I couldn't support the current president with my vote. And I can pray for a world where it really doesn't matter what shade you are but as I tell my Sean, what's in your heart...

EEK!

2009-01-19T13:48:00.003-06:00

****Update--my hair is NOT Red, and this is not a NOT as in Not Me Monday either. Darn it, I finally decide to have a freeing, don't think too much moment and it isn't happening. I should note my hair was much blonder than in the family photo on the blog. It really was colored too dark that day, especially since she highlighted it with way top light highlights by contrast. Since it cost $150 I've been doing it myself the last 6 months. It goes from dark blond to light blond to dark blond again. Red is in this year so I thought why not embrace my red that I'm always trying to color away with Ash. My hair is now more of a medium blond with red highlights. Maybe it will look more red outside.

Hmmmm....I would say this does not bode well for my tattoo idea. For those many souls who have told me I could always pass it off as an earlier youthful indiscretion, I should point out that not many girls in West TX has tattoos back in the 80's--yes I am that old and yes I have a 2 year old. On the other hand maybe I can somehow learn to lie about my age. My mother was really strict about that whole "Thou shall not lie" thing so I have trouble with it. Oh wait, I guess that means God would too....*****

Did you know red haircolor is purple when you put it on. Oh my gosh, what have I done. 10 more minutes and I'll know!

Not Me Monday

2009-01-19T10:22:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This weekend I certainly did not go to a skating party and think that I would be able to not only skate but help teach my kids even though I haven't really skated since high school.

Once there, I certainly did not discover the wheels were much more rolly that I expected and my balance was much worse than I expected. It had to be the loose wheels right.

I certainly did NOT carry my 2 year old, while on skates, because he started whining. AND even though I was on the carpet I did not carry my 2 year old, while on skates, and then use my other hand to help my 7 year old past the opening I DID NOT suddenly feel my skate sliding forward. Because said 2 year old was NOT on my hip, while I was on skates, I certainly did not have no way to grab the rail. That said, I did not fall flat on my back, scraping it on that useless concrete half-wall, hit my head on the floor all the while NOT holding said 2 year old who also did not fall with me.

I am not now really fed up with the world including some people in my family because other than removing said 2 year old to discover he was not injured it is NOT possible that NO ONE helped me up or checked that I was okay. I, of course, do not have scrapes down my back and what feels like a bruised tailbone among other bruises.

Okay, I am not using this forum to complain and discovering that 2 days later this is still NOT an issue.

I did not, however, have another issue that has NEVER happened to me (this never is real despite the fact that I have 2 kids that were determined not to face the world at their birth and you do not even want to know what level episiotomy--spellcheck is not working and I cannot spell this word!-- I had) because I did not kinda have to find a restroom before the incident and really needed one after. Did you know that this skating rink doesn't have doors on their stalls in the girls room. I do now!

I did not then proceed to tell other family members who shall remain nameless because apparently I am not still miffed at them, that I was going out to the car and might leave to get a soda because of the issue I have never had happen before.

I did not then drive to Macy's up the street(they WERE having a sale of course) and proceed to purchase a lovely new pair of jeans which I did not need anyway because I only have 3 pair that fit. Said family members still haven't noticed the new jeans!

I have not decided that I need to shake my life up a little and enjoy it more. Thus I am not about to drive to the store to purchase a demi-permenant haircolor in RED. I have fought my red highlights since high school so why on earth would I give in and go red now.

I am not also really truly for the first time considering getting that tattoo I've been dreaming about for the last few years. I think maybe I've decided if the people at church have a problem with me getting an ICTHUS on my ankle they need to cut loose a little. We'll see is I really do not go through with this one!

Okay, I did not use this whole forum to not only admit something so embarrassing about myself, and still manage to complain about certain members of my family even though I did not already have to delete a post where I complained much more indepth.

Not Me Monday

2009-01-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

I did not spend most of the weekend laying around the house watching kid shows with Connor. No, with Mike and Sean gone I was totally efficient and not only got loads of chores done I worked out too, NOT!

That said, part of the reason I was lazy was not because my little Connor chose to wake up before 6 each day--well before 6 Sunday joining me in bed around 5 AM. Being a good Mommy I of course sent him straight back to bed. I did not provide him with juice then proceed to let him sleep on me on both the couch and my bed because I was TIRED!

I did not run out to the the mess in the garage yesterday in my only fit of energy and find the antique guns Mike accused me of losing. I did not, however, fail to find the DVDs he brought home from Iraq. Of course, it might not possibly be because I was afraid of something collapsing on myself or Connor or having my finger cut off when I found saw blades laying in a dark box I was digging through in the corner.

I did not spend too many hours last night searching for a background for my blog because I deleted the background and The Cutest Blog on the Block has been down for days. Once I found something that actually worked with my template I did not then spend more time adjusting the colors to where I liked them. I did not then watch the movie I got 2 days ago so I could return it and thus go to bed at 2 AM. I know better than that since Connor was on a roll waking up early!

I did not check out when Mike and Sean arrived home at 2 this afternoon. Essentially, we were splitting the load each having a child so I have no reason to be so tired now. Of course he did get the one who sleeps...

I did not just spend 15 minutes crying over the video on Bring the Rain, http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ , and reread the story of Audrey again to compound the tears. I am not completely blown away by Angie and others who show so much strength, courage, and faith in God. I do not feel humbled and so unworthy because I let so little get me down and wonder why God's "picking on me" when He's given me so much.

Christmas Photos

2009-01-11T17:57:00.005-06:00

Let's see, I got the Halloween photos up around Christmas so I'm actually a month ahead this time. Notice I'm not in any of the photos. That is because 1. I'm taking the pictures and 2. I still hate the way I look in pictures. At this rate I'll be lucky to lose enough weight to get in the boys wedding pictures. Of course by then I really will need some cosmetic surgery so maybe I'll have to take those as well, LOL!

And it looks like I put them on in backwards order but I'm going to leave them as is. The first which should be last is everyone's favorite gift. The Wii from Mike's parents and Guitar Hero's from me to Mike.

Connor and Mommy, Home Alone

2009-01-09T17:57:00.003-06:00

Dh and Sean are getting ready to go deer hunting. Yes, I said deer hunting and yes I'm thinking about painting Sean florescent orange before they leave. Mike assures me he will be safe but as hyper as he's been this afternoon I can just imagine him running through the forest as hunters fire! Okay, really, it's okay. Thousands of boys have gone deer hunting with their father's at the age of 7 and survived--right!?!?

Anyway, that will leave me and a very unhappy Connor at home until Sunday afternoon. I know he's going to be unhappy that both brother and Daddy are not only gone but gone somewhere together that he didn't get to go to. I'm hoping for an early night as I picked him up at MDO at 2 and woke him up. I will probably skip naptime tomorrow and go for a 7 PM bedtime just to have some time alone to myself.

Okay, Janet, Latin Fusion is this fun exercise class at my gym. I like Pilates but they charge per class for it and I'm already paying a ridiculous amount per month already. My friend tried the class and got me to go. It incorporates Latin dance moves (remember Baby in Dirty Dancing learning the steps--that kind) with a little hip-hop and belly dancing. I really like the instructor and I'm loving that it's starting to feel less like exercise and more like fun even though I'm drenched when it's over. That said, my instructor was out today and the one that sub'd was more into hip-hop and was too fast to change steps. So I was all excited and then let down but because she ended early I got the grocery shopping done before I had to pick up Connor from MDO. Incidentally, I found that the class can be applied to real life when they played a song at the New Years Eve party and I knew the steps. Mike didn't so I just danced around him while he wiggled as usual. It was fun that I recognized the beat. Of course without the glass of wine I probably wouldn't have done it.

Anyway, I'm just trying to get on track with my exercise and the clutter. The house is much cleaner and we've gotten rid of a couch and chair. I've got more to sell in the garage but I'll wait until Mike is back to do that. I really need to paint the bedrooms and redecorate as Connor's is still a nursery theme and Sean's is more preschool. I should trade rooms but Sean doesn't want to and his is over the kitchen so that isn't a good place for Connor if I want him to sleep! I'm planning to paint all 3 rooms blue. Connor will get chocolate accent paint and I have the cutest circles that stick up but are moveable that will go on the upper half of the walls. I'm planning to buy some Star Wars stick up characters for Sean. It will also be blue because it's for Sean and everything MUST be blue for Sean. I want to paint my room blue as well because it's the same brown as the rest of the house and I want it to be more restful.

Of course, first I must buy the paint (I'm getting the Freshaire brand from Home Depot because it is VOCC free), then tape--I HATE taping, then actually paint when both boys aren't underfoot. Hmmm....hopefully I'll get this done before we decide to try and sell though house again in a few years, LOL

Not Me Monday

2009-01-05T19:45:00.005-06:00

First and foremost, I didn't neglect to blog for an entire week so that my last blog was actually a Not Me Monday blog!

That said I would have lots of excuses for doing so as DH was not at home all week and didn't take plenty of time off to play with the boys.

My children, including the tall one that pays the bills, are not now Wii obsessed. Not my family, and I would certainly not allow them to play for hours on end. I insist on reading, writing, and beneficial activities for my kids.

Our poor little doggy is not feeling neglected for that Wii the boys are not obsessed with.

I did not have 3 glasses of wine New Years Eve and ask DH if I acted silly. First, I never drink (okay that one is almost true) and if I did, I would know that 3 drinks in 4 hours with food would not make me silly. I am NOT overly concerned with how people perceive me. Not at all, especially at a party where I knew all of 3 people and that includes DH.

I have not fallen in love with my Latin Fusion exercise class and I certainly did not ask the instructor if she does it more than once a week. I am not considering asking DH to put the kids to bed on Mondays so I can take the 8 PM class too.

I am also not secretly intrigued because she throws in a few belly dancing moves because I have always thought it would be fun to learn to belly dance--for the exercise of course!

I did not fail yet again to make enchiladas tonight. I am also not really regretting not letting my mother teach me to make Mexican food so I'd know how to get those darn corn tortillas not to tear every time! I did not tell DH that at least my chili is good because that would be admitting I can cook SOMETHING right.

I am not dreading bedtime because Connor took a nap so will be impossible to get to sleep tonight.

And no, I did not just admit I keep my child up some days so bedtime will go easy and be early because I want some "me time".

Not Me Monday

2008-12-29T09:08:00.004-06:00

I did not pretty much ignore my blog all week!

I did not ignore, so far, the recipe exchange email from my cousin because I don't have 20 people I feel I can forward the email to.

I did not get sad over the holiday because I saw no one from my family at all.

I did not think it really did not feel like Christmas because not only did I not see anyone from my side of the family, we did not even make it to our church's Christmas Eve service for the first time in 5 years.

My house is not a complete mess and I haven't pretty much ignored that fact for the last 7 days.

I'm not still feeling lazy and typing this blog instead of cleaning like a madwoman.

I didn't laze around doing nothing most of the holiday because DH is home and will entertain the kids while I do nothing. I joined in on all the family fun because that is what a good Mommy would do rather than lounge on the couch watching the Naked Archaeologist (he's not really naked BTW!)

I did not finally list a bunch of books on Paperback Swap and actually get enough credits for 2 new books. That said I certainly picked serious literary classics rather than Christian Chick Lit. I'm an intelligent well-read Mommy who wants to expand her intellect not waste precious time on fluff--albeit Christian fluff.

I did not despite my lazy ways do at least 1 to 2 loads of laundry every day of the last week. A family of 4 could NOT possibly generate that many dirty clothes. That said I certainly am not wearing the same sweats I wore yesterday because I have a tendency to dry my hands on my pants when I'm cooking because I'm in a hurry(I am also certainly not phobic about cooking meat and don't wash my hands constantly for fear of giving the kids some horrible bacteria). Of course I only dry my clean hands but still...

I'm not now typing my Not Me's when I told DH I was answering Craigslist emails for the couch and chairs we are selling.

Of course I just love selling on Craigslist, answering all the emails, especially the one's that come in after I've gone to the trouble to update the ad as PICKUP PENDING (notice the all caps? No one else ever does!) I also love dealing with people who think I am a retail business with nothing better to do than sit here all day and wait until it is convenient for them to wander by and pickup the items I'm selling way below what they are worth anyway. And I especially LOVE the people who are desperate to buy my items than drop off the face of the earth leaving me to move through the list of other people desperate to buy my underpriced things.

I'm not using Craigslist because DH refuses to let me have a garage sale. I certainly don't agree with him somewhat as people at garage sales seem to want me to give them my furniture and whatnot so cheap I might as well pay them for the privilege. Not to mention the people who pile half the stuff up and ask if they can have it for $10, "for Mexico", then I find out they don't give it away they sell it for 3 times what it's worth and 5 times what I had it priced at to begin with!

I didn't tell my friend I was giving up bread, pasta, rice, etc until New Years Eve because we have a party to go to that night and I know it will help me lose a few pounds. After not saying that I certainly did not eat 7 slices (small slices, but) of pizza DH brought home after church yesterday. That pizza is not calling to me now as I type this with it's delicious crust...

Finally, DH did not go against what I told him about no gifts (because our Property Tax is due next month and we need to SAVE) and buy me the most amazing COACH purse. He did not, thank goodness, go to the outlet and get it for $300 UNDER retail which was only $50 more than I told him he could spend if he didn't follow my instructions. He didn't, again thank goodness, ask for advice from the salespeople and NOT get me the patchwork style I liked LAST YEAR, and instead buy a huge (I can't believe it was only $150!!!!!!) classic brown one from this years line!!! AND I did not seriously think about taking a picture and posting it because I really really love it. It SOOO did not make up for that hideous fake croc, horsehair, silver buckled thing he bought me for my 40th birthday!

Drat, okay I"m not sad that MckMama is not doing Not Me Monday this week because I had So many Not Me's! Darn!!!

Merry Christmas--I think this Hobby Lobby ad says it all!

2008-12-24T21:52:00.004-06:00

Not Me Monday

2008-12-15T20:09:00.003-06:00

I didn't forget it was Not Me Monday until just now, no not me.

I didn't sleep during Connor's nap today. No not me I've got lots to do before Christmas.

I haven't wrapped a total of 0 Christmas gifts for under my tree yet wrapped all 18 of Sean's teachers gifts for the students (it is my month as classroom helper).

I didn't take on a way to complicated project for Sean's class instead of just handing out candy for Christmas.

I am not trying to overcompensate for my less than average domestic skills by trying to impress the other parents with my creativity. No not me!

I'm not yet again doing Not Me's while leaving DH to entertain the kids when he really does need to be working.

I didn't keep Connor up more days then let him nap hoping he would end the cycle of waking up at 3 AM.

I'm not still unmotivated even though it's been over a week of solid sleep for me!

Christmas isn't next week and I still don't have anything for my in-laws, no not me, I always plan ahead.

I'm not done because I still have to put away the laundry I did last night and just folded tonight. Not me, I always fold and put clothes away promptly.

Goodnight all, Happy Not Me Monday!

Christmas Card

2008-12-13T19:39:00.004-06:00

Yay! My scanner is working so I can scan my Christmas Card. The photo is on another post but I'm putting the actual card on here. I have to admit I think I like the casual photos. Good thing too since I'm too unorganized to get it done early enough for a studio shot!

3 Full Nights of Sleep!

2008-12-10T18:31:00.005-06:00

Connor has slept for the last 3 nights. He has not napped on those day, however, and today he napped for almost 2 hours. I suspect he will wake at some point but we will see. If he does not wake up then maybe it was street noise that was waking him as I have moved his bed to an inside wall.

I'm so happy because Mike's company has decided to halt all travel until the end of the year. We had him home for 2 weeks at Thanksgiving (home meaning no overnight travel) and now the rest of the month. We aren't going to know what to do with ourselves! I'm especially happy because next week is Sean's last week before Winter Break. It will be nice having Mike home in the evening after being home with both boys all day. I'm going to have to find lots to entertain them!

I do finally have the tree up. I can't say it's a thing of beauty since I only used child-friendly ornaments. Most of them are Sean made so it's definately not a fancy tree! Connor likes to put as many as possible on one branch so I'm constantly trying to even them out but I suspect they will go right back as soon as he is near the tree again. I'm not sure what to do with the presents. I bought plain brown paper and ink so I plan to decorate it myself and today I thought perhaps I'd just glue the wrap down so Connor can't tear it off before Christmas. Of course, Connor being Connor he just might anyway!

Okay, so awhile back I was contemplating a post telling all sorts of things about myself that most people wouldn't know. Since then I've gotten more sleep so I might not be as forthcoming as I would have but why not right!?!

The first thing I was going to say is that deep down and not so deep down I really want to get a tattoo. However, after watching a newscast of women having them removed I'm not as interested. I should note that I don't think I will get one. Obviously, it's not even something I would have ever contemplated if my mother was still alive. When I was 21, yes 21, I had 1 ear double pierced and she completely freaked out. Kept talking about rebellion and where was it going. It was really funny considering most of the girls in my high-school had both double pierced and I'm talking about the preppy rich girls. It was no big deal but to my mother it was. Strangely enough she's the one who talked my father into letting me get my ears pierced in third grade in the first place.

Okay back to the subject. I'm so rebellious that the tattoo I'd like is an ICTHUS ("Jesus fish") on my inner ankle. I just like the idea of having it with me always. On the other hand I'm not sure I'm a good enough witness to sport that permanently! I really don't think I will ever follow up on this because at my age I can't pretend it was something I did in my wild college days as none if the girls I went to school with did that. It really wasn't done much when I was in school except by some of the Sig Ep's I knew and then it was usually frat related so I thought it was cool.

On that note, yes, I was a Sig Ep Little Sister. They called them Golden Hearts and they got discontinued so no one knows what they are anymore. The first few years were fun. Sig Ep's are conservative for a fraternity so it wasn't THAT wild. It was, however, wilder then a good Christian girl should have been. On that note I'm conflicted. I deeply regret the years I wasn't living the way I should have been as a Christian. I truly wonder what God had in store for me if I would have followed his path rather than my own. On the other hand I do have some good friends and some fun memories if I allow myself to look past the shame of some of the other times.

I love to dance and I was out several times a week dancing. The places I went didn't lend themselves to good behavior and that is where my downfall was. But I do miss the dancing. I have danced on table. I was at all times fully clothed when I did so but I had a blast doing it. I have NEVER been in a wet T-shirt contest or any such thing. I did the Hawaiian Tropic thing at South Padre (the one time I went) just because I was annoyed that my friend assumed she would be the only one of us to enter. It was hilarious because even when I have a tan people tell me I need to get some sun! On the other hand people regularly think I'm about 10 years younger than I am so not tanning is always a good thing in the end. The fun thing about the contest is there were a bunch of guys from UTSA that recognized me as a Golden Heart and yelled their heads off. What an ego boost when you feel like fool.

Lets see. Hmmm...I am very frustrated as a SAHM. I'm just not domestic. Probably because my mother was so good at it and did spoil me some. I hate to clean but I like a clean house. I'm hoping Connor will keep sleeping and eventully I'll get enough energy to streamline our lives. Really, we have way too much junk. Mike and the boys are packrats and I tend to get a little panicked sometimes that I will need something I'm throwing away. I'm fighting it though and I know we will all be happier without chaos and with structure in our lives. I'm just praying I can find the energy to do it.

Okay, deep dark secret-or maybe not, I'm vain. That one is hard to believe because I'm also very insecure. The truth is I hate getting older. Hate, hate, hate it! If I had the money I'm afraid I'd do something about it. I see every wrinkle and line on my face and neck. If I lived in a cooler climate I'd probably wear turtlenecks because I have alot of sun damage on my chest and lines on my neck. I'm ashamed that it takes up so much of my thinking because I don't think how you look makes a person but I guess I'm not sure what else I have to offer. Wow, that's really sad and now you know why it's hard to admit.

I feel like I haven't accomplished enough in life. Since I'm not good at the SAHM thing and I didn't exactly have a fulfilling career I have this desperate need to do something more. I think I really need a creative outlet but I have a hard time pushing myself to start. I have ideas for cute kids shirts but I don't do it because I figure it won't go anywhere. However, one day at Target Connor an I schlepped out wearing shirts that were errors in the trial and error. The lady behind me liked them and asked me if I'd do a craft day at her MOPS. I haven't called her because they really were bad and I don't know what I'd do. I'm hoping when I get the energy that I need to clean I'll also get started on some creative outlet.

Okay, I still miss my mother so much sometimes it takes my breath away. It worries me that it's been over 3 years and I still feel that way. I also completely feel like I let her down. If I had had cancer she would have forced me to fight and exhausted everything in her to make me better. I feel like I just gave up on her because it was so hard to see her like that and with Mike in Iraq and Sean's ADHD I just didn't know what to do. I think at one time I really thought to myself, okay she will be out of pain and then we'll see what to do. I think I really couldn't believe it was happening and she wouldn't really be dead. I'm not sure what that says about my sanity at that point. I know now after having Connor, the Staph infection and the last 3 years without her to fall back on I'm a much stronger person. Most of the time at least. I wish I'd had more strength then!

Okay, well not too amazing revelations and now I'm trying to talk to DH as he drives home through the hill country so I guess I'm done for now. Maybe I'll reveal more later...

Not Me Monday

2008-12-08T18:32:00.004-06:00

I did not eat almost 2 pecan pies by myself Thanksgiving weekend.

I did not act like a total jerk to my husband because I was missing my family so much and I was "mad" that my parents are dead and his are not. No, not that I wish them dead just that I'm annoyed he has 2 and I have none. I'm also not sure he knows that's why I was a total jerk or if he just figures it was normal for me.

I have not been making my children listen to Christmas music while they watch their DVD's so I can try and get in the spirit.

I am not, as usual, having a hard time getting in the spirit because temps are in the 70s still, it is dry and dead (everything this year) and it's just not Christmasy looking in S. Texas. I couldn't possibly have a hard time considering I was born here and have lived more of my life here than anywhere else and never outside TX anyway.

I am NOT complaining about living in TX because that would mean I am not one of those annoyingly proud Texans who can tell you exactly how long her family has been there (except on the Comanche side because that really all depends on how you feel about carbon dating!). I love every moment I live in TX (okay, except at Christmas time because it's so darn not Christmasy!)

I did not actually mail almost all of my Christmas cards TODAY because I never mail them until the week before Christmas.

On the same note I did not wait until the last minute, last night!, to actually take the picture for the card. If I had, I would have had to spend hours making the card on the Kodak Gallery and then find out the one I picked couldn't be picked up at Target. Of course I started way in advance so I would have had time to get the cards I picked in the mail.

That said, I certainly did not check out 4 other sites to see if I liked any of their cards but realize I liked the one at Target best because it actually worked with the non-Christmasy bible verse I picked. I am also certainly NOT annoyed that the "religious" cards are on the lame side and I had to for the second year in a row (or third) take a generic Christmas card and add Christ to it! I did not go back to the Target site and find out I could make the card if I made it glossy instead of matte and didn't pick it up bright and early this morning!

I am not very proud of my card which I can't scan because DH won't fix the scanner, but I'm using James 1:17 because I love the verse. I am not kind of tickled at the way I made it fit Christmas.

I do not love Mondays because I get to do this post and visit others.

I did not totally LOVE SITmas last Tuesday and get 30 comments on my blog. Since I never visit all my commenters, I of course did not get to read lots of fun SITSmas posts and find some new blogs to stalk.

I did not spend many nights in the last week up with Connor yet again and conclude the child does not have Pinworms again. I did not secretly wish he did because at least I could fix it with a little pill.

I did not move his room around and turn his crib back into a crib from a toddler bed because I just can't deal with it until I get more consistant sleep. I also did not move the rocking chair away from the bed hoping he will no longer be able to escape so easily.

I most certainly DID NOT keep my poor child up all day because he slept all night last night after not napping so I'm seeing if it works again. Only an evil Mommy would deprive her child of a nap just so they could both sleep through the night.

I did not DVR the Alan Jackson Special on CMT and get chocked up because I really do like him and Denise so much. That would make me a scary fan and I am soooo not a scary fan.

I have not decided I love love love my DVR because I can actually watch shows that come on in the evening now by waiting until after the kids are asleep. I don't love even more that I can watch an hour show so fast by skipping the commercials.

Finally, because my dinner is getting cold and my nap-free little boy needs to get to bed soon, I did not actually utter the words, "thank you, Jesus" when I saw NATIVITIES for sale at my fave store TARGET. After being told 2 years ago they didn't carry them at all I've felt guilty shopping there (about 3 times a week every week). I feel so much better about it now!

Failure last night but pictures today

2008-12-07T19:00:00.005-06:00

We tried, we really tried, then we caved! I caved in and rocked him to sleep. He woke at 1 and I rocked then put him in his bed. He woke and we tried to do it right again until Mike brought him in our room to go potty. Incidentally, he's not potty trained so I think he was manipulating Daddy! After that I rocked him again and at 3 or so Mommy got to go back to sleep. We slept until after 9 so little heathens that we are we skipped church. I deliberately kept him up all day and need to get him to bed ASAP. I hope tonight is better because Mommy is exhausted. I've moved his crib again and turned it back into a crib plus moved the rocking chair he uses to get out. I also moved the crib to an inside wall because I still think it might be related to all the kids who drive by all night with their stereo cranked.

I just spent a few hours making my card only to find out it can't be picked up at my target so now I'm going to start over with HEB. Since I'm so behind I can't afford to wait more than a day or two and HEB came through for me last year. I really liked how it looked at Target darn it.

The main reason I'm posting is because I finally downloaded photos from my camera. I'll post a few, all the way back to Halloween-yikes, so I can feel like I accomplished something today!

My little Curious George

Yes I made Daddy wear that but it was originally his idea

Just so you can get the full "yellow" affect! I had to dye the shirt and pants and we won't even talk about that darn hat!!!!

Sean as Cooper from the Playstation game Sly3, and no you cannot buy that costume in stores. It must be custom made by a Mommy who swears she is going to take sewing lessons but hasn't. Of couse it's so obscure that no one knew who he was but he was happy!

Finally, this will be my Christmas card photo. Now I just need to put it together again. Since I never plan ahead I can't get one done at a studio so it's candid photos only for my friends and family!

Sleepless in San Antonio

2008-12-05T20:14:00.004-06:00

Yes, Connor has decided to be up at night once again. Apparently the peaceful and restful Thanksgiving week was just a short-term gift. Last night was only an hour which would not have been so bad except Tuesday he was up from 3 AM on and would not sleep anywhere but on Mommy. Connor seemed to be fine the next day as he did sleep but of course with Connor's head crammed on Mommy's shoulder, Mommy did not sleep much. I did wake at 9 in my bed with some wild dreams going on so apparently I drifted off some but the dreams were so unsettling I think it made it worse.

Tonight since I'm delirious anyway I've decided it is time for him to grow up. I've turned his crib into a toddler bed. Of course we can't find the rails that actually came with the bed so I'm using the fold down rail from when Sean was younger. Just to be safe I've taped it, with packing tape, to the bars under the mattress. I also put the blanket I use as a rug back in his room and put a pillow under the edge of the crib. I'm hoping to find the actual rails in the storage unit tomorrow.

As for tonight I do not have high hopes. I honestly expect to spend most of the night putting him back in bed, but it's long overdue. We've done the whole CIO many times but every time he gets sick I revert to rocking. Before he could climb out of the crib would have been a much better choice to solve this, but then what would I have to complain about, LOL! Yes, knowing me I can always find something to complain about...

Unfortunately, bathtime seems to be winding down so it's time to start. My saving grace is that I can always tag-team with Mike so we can each get a few blocks of sleep. Now I'll need to convince Mike to return Connor to his bed without trying to reason with him about it. Mike honestly believes our boys will get it if he just explains it to them long enough. I'm going for the book advice, as far as I can tell pretty much every book out there, which is to make it so boring and annoying that the child will give up and sleep.

This post was going to be a post about all sorts of things you would never think about me or things I should be too embarrassed to admit. However, considering the lack of sleep, I'd probably give out way too much info and have to change my name and leave the country. I'll save that for a day when I'm more rested and hopefully have some restraint. Not too much though because why would that be fun! God Willing, seriously if you pray or even if you don't send up a word to HIM for me, Connor will miraculously love his new grown-up bed and stay in it. I should note though that he's already said he didn't want a grown-up bed. On the other hand, it's not exactly bringing Lazarus back to life, walking on water, rising from the dead, etc so maybe there's hope!

The Secret is in the Sauce: Merry SITSmas!

2008-12-02T10:11:00.001-06:00

The Secret is in the Sauce: Merry SITSmas!

Okay today is the day and I missed several hours as Connor had me up again last night--it had better not be the wormies again is all I can say! On to better subjects. SITS is having a giveaway every hour. The one this hour is great--a painting from a photo, I'v always wanted one of those. We are supposed to include our SITSmas card in the blog but I haven't even TAKEN a photo of the boys for it yet! AND I've already received a card already--Jennifer how are you so organized? Since I have nothing to put in from this year I'll used last years photo. You'll note the boys are in their jammies so it was also a last minute effort as the Christmasy ones I tried to take didn't work out! Story of my life...

Merry Pre-SITSmas

2008-12-01T21:15:00.004-06:00

Wow SITS is doing a special event tomorrow with prizes every hour. ALSO, there is a grand prize of not only being the featured blogger on Friday (great because it is comment heaven) but a $200 gift certificate to TARGET. My favorite store. I'm beginning to think it's everyone's favorite store. Anyway, if you head over now and post about the event today you get 10 free entries in the grand prize giveaway!

Not Me Monday

2008-12-01T08:36:00.004-06:00

I did not eat most of 2 pecan pies by myself over the Thanksgiving Holiday.

They certainly were not pies I made myself so I know exactly how much butter, and not margarine, and even Crisco (specially purchased because I never use the stuff!) they had in them. If I did I certainly wouldn't have consumed that many calories.

I also did not continue to eat the second pie after actually blogging that I was leaving it for the men in the house. That would make me a pig!

I did not still manage to lose a pound the other day, haven't checked since then, because that would mean my working out was paying off.

I did not get up with the crazies at 4:30 AM and head out to purchase toys for my children. That would be insane! However, had I done such a thing I would be proud to report that in San Antonio everyone was well behaved and at Target they were even waiting in a single file line for the store to open.

Had I gone out at an ungodly hour on Black Friday, I certainly would not have felt inclined to tell people I never did such a thing and only did it that day because HEB had DS's for $99 and Sean wanted one. That said I certainly did not get THE LAST ONE at 5:15 when the store opened at 5! People were well behaved but obviously much more desperate than I to have gotten there so early and snapped them up (I only got one because a lady put 2 down right when I was heading for the empty table to doublecheck that they were really sold out)

Since I was already up and out I certainly did not then head to my favorite store, Target, and wait 10 minutes until they opened at 6 AM. They did have a deal on Leapster games and I did need to grocery shop but I could have done that at HEB then gone home and made breakfast for my family.

While I wasn't at Target I certainly did not decide Mike didn't really need the Guitar Hero's game they had on sale. I know he secretly wants the game and I would not deprive him of it because I think it's silly and a little too old for our kids anyway. What wife wouldn't want to make her husband's dreams of being a rock star come true-sort of.

I did not then have to go back to Target yesterday because I left my food list in the car on Friday and was too lazy to go back out for it.

I certainly did not make sure Connor had a nap because I was now so sleepy I needed one myself. Connor needs his naps not grown up Mommies who should have gone to bed earlier if she was Not going to go out at 5 AM.

I didn't do 4 loads of laundry over the Thanksgiving weekend but still have a messy house and was secretly glad no one came over for the holiday.

I didn't get annoyed with DH when he kept staying at his parents Thanksgiving when I knew Connor would fall asleep on the way home because he didn't nap. What wife would deprive her husband of family on a holiday especially when she didn't get to see any of her own family.

When Connor did go to sleep I certainly did not shoot said husband dirty looks and mutter under my breath especially since Connor did then go back to sleep within an hour and sleep all night.

I did not really really miss my mother this holiday, especially since I didn't make her cornbread dressing and it really is better than any other.

I am not hiding upstairs in our almost completed office and letting Connor watch a movie so I could actually do my Not Me's early this time.

I am not really looking forward to the special SITSA day tomorrow so I can visit blogs and maybe get some traffic on mine.

Hope everyone had a great holiday and is ready to start the next one. I need to dress myself and Connor and get ready for the gym!

Late but Thankful

2008-11-28T20:55:00.003-06:00

I should have done this yesterday but didn't. After stalking around blogworld I realize again how very much I have been blessed with so

I am thankful I have to relatively healthy kids. Sure Sean's ADHD is challenging and Connor is constantly picking up little bugs--last time literally!--but in all I am blessed I don't have to watch them suffer with a chronic or terminal illness.

I am thankful that my husband for some unknown reason still loves me. I am so often not very lovable especially in the last 3 years. Okay who are we kidding, it's more like 7!

I am thankful my husband still has a job and even more so that the job allows me to be home with the kids. In this day and age that is truly a rare blessing for all of us.

I am thankful that once I get out of this fog I am blessed with health. I have had scares but never faced a real illness that limited me.

I am thankful that I had 2 loving parents who loved me, each other, and most of all the Lord and raised me to know His love and the sacrifice of my Savior. As bad as things have ever been if I didn't have that HOPE I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.

I am thankful that I only ate one pecan pie, by myself, because I realize that is why I feel lousy today. With the vanilla, butter, and Crisco I put into the homemade pie and crust it is way to rich for my tummy. I leave the second pie to the men of the house which my hips will thank me for in the long run.

I am thankful that I live in a country of abundance even at a time when people are down financially. I know our poor still live better than most of the world and God has blessed us with a chance at a better tomorrow that many countries don't have. I hope I will remember to take my thankfulness and focus it toward helping others and not being so self-centered.

I am thankful to live in a nation where I can still worship my God as I see fit. I am also thankful for the community I live in within SA that has grown so much spiritually. I am truly blessed to be able to raise my children and live in this environment when so much of the world is living without so much Grace.

I am thankful for finding blogs. It is a great outlet for my "down time" (read: time to avoid cleaning the toilets, etc) as I am an avid reader. This way I am connecting with real people at least through comments and prayers.

There is so much more I am thankful for but it's late and I need to get Connor in bed. We both napped late today (did I mention I was up at 5 AM to get a $99 DS for Sean--got the LAST one they had at 5:15!) so bedtime is late. Someday I will be thankful for a scheduled household but I think I'll save that for my New Years Resolutions.

So for now, happy rest of the Thanksgiving Weekend to everyone out there!

Thanksgiving Eve

2008-11-26T23:27:00.002-06:00

So far I've baked 3 Pecan Pies tonight. Tomorrow all I have to do is make the cranberry sauce which is for me as no one else likes it. Oh the joy of not having to make dressing and turkey. Yes I said dressing first, I like it more. However, that means I am stuck with other people's dressing and honestly I like my mother's recipe best. Maybe I'll make some for Christmas.

Today I have also worked out hard with my friend Sheila. Changed my blog background. Officially become a MckFriend. AND lo and behold found out I have followers! I never added the device because I couldn't imagine I would have any but I have 2. Bless you oh lovely people for making me feel loved tonight.

Today after reading that people from my neighborhood and even more shocking, The Dominion!(by way of explanation, George Strait lives in The Dominion)are hitting up the local food banks I really realize how thankful I should be. Yes, I can't keep my budget but if I would, we do have the means to pay off our evil CC debt. I am so blessed to be home with my kids and DH still has a good job to go to every week. It's a new job but since the promoted him after a few months to Regional Manager I'm hoping that is a good sign he won't be let go anytime soon! I can imagine how hard it is to go from affluence to bankruptcy. I have to assume that's the only choice for many in this real estate market. Even here in TX where the economy is better, homes aren't moving!

There is so much sadness and so much strength here in blogworld. As usual today I was blown away by the beautiful Christian women out there and the things they do in this world. At the same time I was heartbroken to read of children suffering through illness, poverty or in abusive situations. My mother used to read such accounts and say she just wanted it to end and for us to be with God. I never got it completely until I had my boys. For anyone to hurt them or for me to have to see them suffer is beyond what I hope to ever have to endure. Almost as much I feel a physical ache in my soul that any child in this land of plenty would lack for anything. Especially love.

I hope in the year to come I will stop focusing so much on my issues and reach out more to the world around me. God has blessed me with more than so many receive, I hope I can continue to see that and give of my time, my money, and myself more.

Not Me Monday--Is is really Monday again?

2008-11-24T18:32:00.011-06:00

I did not spend the last several weeks in a fog because Connor kept me up so much. Not me!

I did not finally feel better this morning and finally work out with my friend again. Not me, I'm much to lazy. (okay, really, yay me! I actually feel thinner, yeah right!)

I was not secretly happy that the 2 families I invited for Thanksgiving had to decline. Not me, I've been cooking frantically in my sick and sleepy stupor plus I would NEVER put off getting ready for that type of a meal until the week of...

I did not actually make enchiladas and chalupas from scratch for my family. Not me, I'm much to tired for that and I hate to cook (yay me again!)

I was not secretly thrilled when my picky eater Connor had 2 Little Debbie's for a snack, because a good mother would prefer quality to quantity even if it means her child eats no more than 2 bites a day.

I did not really write that ridiculously long sentence above that obviously lacks proper punctuation because I love grammar.

I am not listening to Christmas music in my car because it makes me happy. Good gosh it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

I did not make my children listen to country radio instead of their movie today because I felt the need to educate them on different genres of music. It absolutely was not because I couldn't stand the thought of listening to Tad put words together AGAIN during our drive.

I am not beyond thrilled that my MIL bought the boys a Wii and thus we will be able to afford to purchase them other Christmas presents without breaking our budget.

I did not just lie in that previous statement because I can't follow or set a budget to save my life. AND it is not because I can't keep myself out of Target that I can't stay within budget either.

I did not put off once again making business calls because it's a holiday week and a bad time for that, right?

I do not have pretty lame Not Me's this week because I live the exciting life of a SAHM and nothing has happened lately except the whole Pinworm saga.

Speaking of, I did not seriously consider sending flowers to the doctor that prescribed the medicine because Connor has slept through every night since Tuesday when he got the med's!

I'm not done now because I can no longer put off folding the 2 loads of laundry thrown on my bed because Mike is going to call me on it soon since he can hear the typing from where he is!

Also, I'm not still too tired to give a flip about grammar!

No sleep for Connor or Mommy

2008-11-18T15:28:00.003-06:00

Connor has been waking up most nights for at least 3 weeks now. The first night, okay it was 5 AM, he complained his tushy hurt (although that's not the word he used--I just can't get into teaching my boys the correct terms, my mother did that and I felt weird saying them!) I took him in and they said he was probably constipated, not a surprise considering the few foods he will eat, and that he had a little tear. I should put Dr. Smith's on it and some Lotrimen in case it was fungal plus treat the constipation. He seemed a little better and less constipated then we had some more bad nights but no complaints about that area so I had his ears checked. They were fine but some molars were about to break through. Fast forward to last week. Monday and Thursday I got all of 2 hours sleep each night. The rest of the time he was awake or sleeping on me and waking up as soon as he went down. Friday he slept 6 hours then Saturday, Sunday and Monday night it was only an hour or 2 then up. I saw a different doctor yesterday and by then he was scratching and crying and it was bleeding again. She immediately told me it really sounded like Pinworms as they come out a few hours after the child goes to sleep and make it itchy. It's really all too disgusting to talk about but I'm so desperate I'm praying that is what it is.

I got the prescription but was told to check first by going in while he was asleep and checking with a flashlight for worms--and yes that is NOT the most disgusting part! It was inconclusive but I thought I saw some wormy things in his dirty diaper. Believe it or not he slept through the inspection. I thought I was home free until 12:45 when he woke up. At 2 I got him back down, he almost rose as 2:30 and was coughing but went back to sleep until 3:52. When I went in he told me he threw up, apparently that was the coughing I'd heard (!), so I stripped the bed and remade it, stripped him and "remade" him and sat down. Then I gave up and hauled him into my bed and finally he slept. Me, not so much as he slept on my arm the rolled and jammed his elbow into me and I was too afraid to move. During the prior wake-up he moaned and wiggled around trying to keep his bottom from touching anything. I called the doctor this morning and waited. Then we had another dirty diaper and I thoroughly checked it--thank goodness I never use the gloves when I color my hair, boy they came in handy--and saw some more things that MIGHT be pinworms. Just as I threw clothes on, forget hair and makeup at this point, the nurse called and said the med's wouldn't hurt him even if there was no worms. Gee, had I known that I would have given them to him yesterday in case they do the trick. So now we've had our pill and I'm praying like crazy that is the deal. If I don't get a night's sleep tonight I don't think I can function tomorrow.

Of course Mike is out of town and there is no one else to help. Honestly, he wants me anyway. I did get a nap of 1 hour today but it's not making up for the weeks of sleep I'm missing. Anyone reading this please pray my little one will be healed by this medicine. Not only is he suffering but Mommy can't take it anymore!

Wow, freaky test results!

2008-11-11T21:41:00.005-06:00

Okay, short and sweet because Connor was up at 5 again and Mike's out of town.

I just found this random test on blog I read off another blog I was checking out. I was caught by the word Texas in this blog title so I hopped over. Yes, we Texans really are that obsessed with our state, LOL!

Anyway, I was floored by how accurate the description was of me especially since there was only a few questions. So here goes, if there is anybody out there you are about to know more about me than I probably want you to know. But hey, it's just blogworld right...

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

* Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

* Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

* Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

* Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

* Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

* my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

* my ability to establish warm connections with people

* admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

* my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

* being unique and being seen as unique by others

* having aesthetic sensibilities

* being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

* experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

* feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

* feeling guilty when I disappoint people

* feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me

* expecting too much from myself and life

* fearing being abandoned

* obsessing over resentments

* longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

* have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

* are very sensitive

* feel that they don't fit in

* believe they are missing something that other people have

* attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

* become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

* feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

* help their children become who they really are

* support their children's creativity and originality

* are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

* are sometimes overly critical or overly protective

* are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Not me Monday

2008-11-10T18:53:00.002-06:00

I did not send DH and both boys to Krisy Kreme Saturday to watch them make donuts so I could have a quiet morning.

I certainly DID NOT then eat 3 donuts every day since then because that would be horrible when I'm trying to lose weight.

I did not skip church Sunday because Connor woke up at 5:30 and I knew he would need to nap about the time the service started. Of course it also wasn't because he would then take a very late nap pushing bedtime back and Sean has school on Monday requiring we wake up early.

When I did actually get Connor to sleep while renovation was taking place right outside his door I certainly DID NOT go into my room and go to sleep as well. That would be lazy especially since I need to catch up on housecleaning and laundry.

I did not hang out in my room watching not one but 3 soap operas (if you include One Tree Hill as a soap opera) at the same time during his nap today because I'm still behind on the housework and again, that would be lazy.

On that note I certainly have NOT become addicted to a teen soap opera even though I am as old or older than the parents on the show--and YES I do have a 2 1/2 year old at my age!

If I am addicted, I am certainly not so addicted that I finally learned to program my TIVO so I can record Monday nights during the boys bedtime.

I did not wake up with Connor 4 nights and 3 early mornings in the last 2 weeks then spend hours rocking him back to sleep. I could not have because I am not one of those mothers that is still rocking her toddler to sleep. No, not me, since he was 6months old I've been laying him down awake and he always goes to sleep quietly.

I also do not give in to his request for bedtime snacks (including the last of the Halloween candy) nor do I allow him to have juice when he wakes in the middle of the night while I lay on the couch half asleep. That goes against all the parenting books and I am too perfect a parent to do such a thing.

Finally, I did not just tell my DH that I was coming upstairs to vacuum up the renovation mess and instead sit here and do my NOT ME MONDAY post!

Survival

2008-11-07T20:38:00.008-06:00

Yay, I did fine yesterday at my appointment. Except for the fact I entered the time wrong in my calendar and I was 2 hours late that is! Fortunately, the doctor saw me anyway and I was out of there in 30 minutes total. I noticed there was no Mirena paraphernalia in the office this time and he was quick to say let's take it out. After the fact I discussed some of my fatigue and other issues and noted that it reminded me of when I was pregnant. He agreed it could be from the hormones in the IUD and it was possible I would feel better now. I think this has been an issue with other patients. I sincerely hope this will help my energy level.

Our ceiling how has a nice hole in it where we will have to replace the insulation and drywall. Our shower has had the tile ripped out and we're letting it dry out. We are starting on walling in the loft to make an office this weekend. Fortunately, a friend of Mike's brother is doing the work for us so it will be cheaper than hiring a company (this is what he does at his normal job and does weekend jobs on the side). I'm really thinking about trying to rearrange the bathroom so we have some closet space. If I can do that, get a screen door, and the office done I think I could find some happiness in this house. With our market I'm probably stuck for awhile so I'd like to be happy!

What next!?!

2008-11-05T16:46:00.013-06:00

First I should note I have not downloaded photos yet but I took this with my phone a week before Halloween and sent it to myself. I'm quite proud of the outfit from the Sly 3 Playstation game because I had to create it myself. Now onto more annoying issues...

I can't believe how absolutely awful today is. Last night Connor was up yet again making it night number 4 in the last 7 nights. Except this time he absolutely would not go back to sleep. I will admit he did have a little gas but not enough to warrant his being awake from 3:30 until 5:45! I was so exhausted I just could not get up at 7 to take Sean to school plus I hated to wake Connor so I did something I never could have imagined doing. I slept until 8:30 and finally got Sean to school a little before 10. I feel like such a horrible Mommy and believe me things haven't improved much since then.

To start, I'm in a bad mood about the election. I'm sure Mr. Obama is a lovely man, but unfortunately for me he has has probably voted against most of the moral issues I find most important.

Okay, back to my day. Bad mood going to sleep, woken up at 3:30 so only about 3 hours of sleep. Mike's still gone (since Monday morning early) so I am the only one here to take care of the boys. Sean goes to school late and I know Connor isn't going to nap nor do I have the patience to get him to sleep anyway. It's Wednesday so I have to take Sean to Karate and entertain Connor for an hour... I might as well go to the gym even though my new "workout buddy" can't go because her daughter is sick. Stay tuned for my workout issues as I've agreed to work out with a friend from church 3 days a week. A friend who happens to run 7 miles daily but needs some crosstraining. I sucked it up today, worked really hard in my delirious state and ran 1.3 miles indoors, on a treadmill, while I watched soap operas. Obviously I'm giong to find it a breeze to keep up with Sheila, LOL!

Alright, home and more fun awaits. I'm letting Connor play in the backyard with Charlotte. Yes, I let my 2 1/2 year old play in the backyard with the dog we got a month ago. Yes, I'm insane but I do stay by the window and watch and she is from a home with 5 kids and is very submissive. And yes, if he gets bit I will have to slit my wrists as I will then be the most neglectful mother ever born. Anyway, I lure him inside somehow. I'm not sure how but I need to remember because he seems to want to move in with Charlotte permanently and we haven't even gotten her a doghouse yet. He ran in our front room. The useless one separated from our tiny living room by french doors someone thought was a good idea instead of say having space for living in the living room. When I go in to get him to pick up Sean the couch is wet. Connor has a tendency to pour juice on things and actually killed one of our TV's so I automatically blame him. In fact I pick him up and softly swat his diapered tush. I'm not a spanker but I'm tired and he is out of control lately. I'm trying to dry it up when I discover the blinds are wet too and for whatever reason glance up. The ceiling is leaking! The shower handle has been leaking and Mike worked on it this weekend but apparently it didn't stop. I never take showers so I didn't notice. I ran upstairs and managed to get it to stop but the ceiling is now soggy and I'm afraid it will fall in. I finally heard back from Mike about 30 seconds before I used the shop vac on the drain. He explained the water in the drain was not the culprit (hey I'm a girl, how should I know, I think I get points for even trying to address the problem). He walked me through taking the handle apart and suggested I poke a hole in the ceiling to determine if water was still sitting or if the drywall was just saturated.

I instructed Sean to call 911 if he heard a crash and I didn't answer, locked the boys upstairs and scaled the ladder with a bucket and screwdriver (flathead--see I'm not totally inept). Fortunately, only heavier drips came out so I've sealed off the room until he returns and can fix it. If I can survive tomorrow it will be a miracle but I WILL take a few hours off for myself this weekend.

Oh, did I mention I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow to remove the Mirena. Well, at least I've been so busy and sleepy today I haven't had time to worry about it. Of course I'm not sure where the info with the appointment time is and now it's after 5. Hopefully, I can either find it or get ahold of them early enough to get Connor to Kidspace before I have to be there. Oh, joy what a fun life I live. I guess the president-elect is the least of my worries today. But boy, I sure miss my mother right now!

Not Me Monday

2008-11-03T18:29:00.002-06:00

I did not mess up the rules and accidentally link before posting. No, Not Me!

I did not find MckMama's blog only a few weeks ago but become a total addict checking it daily and every few hours the day MckMuffin was born. Not Me!

I did not sob and thank God when he was born not only alive but as perfect as it gets. Not Me!

I did not neglect to yet again download Halloween photos so you can see how cute my 3 boys looked (yes I made Mike a costume too). Not Me!

I did not work until the last minute taking on way to much and literally piecing Mike's costume together as we drove to the Trick-or-Treat party. Not Me!

I did not let both boys watch way to much TV today because I was up yet again with Connor last night (3rd night in a week!) Not Me!

I did not "kick" Sean outside to play with Connor so I could read the mail, oops, I mean empty the dishwasher and make dinner. Not Me!

I did not "shamelessly" post this Not Me! post so I could post my link and maybe someone would actually read my blog. (Actually that's not totally true because I really needed to post today anyway!) Not Me!

I did not fall to my knees in the kitchen a few minutes ago crying out to God to protect our nation in tomorrow's election. AND this is not totally out of character for me. Not Me!

I also did not get to the early voting site too late to wait because I had to pick Connor up from MDO (on Friday) thus didn't even vote! Not Me!

I am not counting the minutes until I can finally get both boys in bed because Connor was up last night, took a late nap thus denying me one, and Mike is yet again out of town. No, Not Me!

Tagged

2008-10-22T16:25:00.006-05:00

I forgot Janet tagged me. I've been so busy working on the photos I've been posting. Anyway, I don't have anyone to tag that hasn't already been tagged but I'll answer the questions myself at least.

1. Where is your cell phone? My bedroom
2. Where is your significant other? El Paso on business
3. Your hair color? Dark Blond at the moment, probably back to medium blond soon.
4. Your mother? In heaven with Jesus
5. Your father? Heaven also, he got there first.
6. Your favorite thing? hugs from my boys
7. Your dream last night? probably that I was running late to get somewhere
8. Your dream/goal? To raise my sweet boys to love God and themselves but also to find something I excel in (the mother thing comes hard for me) so I will feel a sense of satisfaction
9. The room you're in? Loft but soon to be office once the walls go in
10. Your hobby? Blogging, reading. sleeping when the kids allow me to.
11. Your fear? bugs
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Both boys in school so I'll need an outlet. I'd like to start a creative business of some sort--me and all the other Mommies out there right!
13. Where were you last night? Home alone with the boys and our new dog
14. What you’re not? Focused and driven but I wish I were
15. One of your wish list items? A screen door--seriously I've asked and asked for one so I can leave the door open and hear the kids from inside and thus get something done
16. Where you grew up? San Antonio and San Angelo TX
17. The last thing you did? Went to Target (a good thing) with both boys (a bad thing)
18. What are you wearing? Denim shorts (very wrinkled), Royal blue shirt with white tank under and slip on Keds
19. Your TV? 2 LCD per DH
20. Your pet? New dog named Charlotte. She is a 1 yr old Australian Blue Heeler
21. Your computer? It says Compaq
22. Your mood? Tired, no sleep thanks to Connor and cranky because I'm tired all the time.
23. Missing someone? My mother--always
24. Your car? Lincoln MKX (it's a crossover and I LOVE it!)
25. Something you’re not wearing? earrings, I used to never leave the house without them, loved them and then I had kids
26. Favorite store? Target, Steinmart, Marshalls
27. Your summer? Still having it, it's 85 today, and I'm sick of it!
28. Love someone? My DH and boys
29. Your favorite color? Purple and tuscan blue (not together I like blue with brown)
30. When is the last time you laughed? Probably yesterday at Connor
31. Last time you cried? yesterday but I'm surprised it wasn't today

Okay now for photos of Sean. One has both boys but as you will see it's really all about Sean. The first is at the circus. The second well. I really don't know what's going on in his head... Sorry to titillate you all with the pickle thing. Please remember that I don't get out much and Target really is the highlight of most of my days so the pickle ride seemed much funnier to me than it probably would to anyone else!

Pickles on Parade

2008-10-21T23:52:00.002-05:00

Okay Nanny, just for you here's Connor walking his pickle, or actually the whole jar of pickles. It's not edited great as I should really be in bed and the red-eye thing is just not wanting to work for some reason. Anyway, Connor is a pickle fiend (just like Mommy) and wanted the jar from the frig. He had brought his trike with him and then proceeded to place the jar on the seat and carefully walk it to the table so he could eat his pickles there. I have another one that isn't uploaded yet where his head is down as, I guess, he checks with the pickles to see if they are enjoying the ride okay.

A few more pics of Connor

2008-10-21T20:33:00.004-05:00

I'm going to add a few. I'd have more if it didn't take me so long to edit on Photobucket. The first is at the Zoo Train, then one of him looking like a teenager and finally one that shows off his lush lips I just love them. I haven't edited the one of him walking his pickle but I'll get it on tomorrow along with some of my big boy Sean (is your interest peaked, and no that isn't some sort of euphemism for something else!)

Alive!

2008-10-21T14:01:00.005-05:00

It feels so good to not feel lousy! I am finally not sick anymore. I'm trying to take it easy so I don't get overtired with Mike out of town but there is so much to do. On that note I'm going to make this quick as I've already wasted half of Connor's nap trying to upload photos and losing the blog I started. I'll add more later vut for now here's a few photos of my darlings. They aren't the cutest I have but given their recent behavior they are the most representative of their personalities

Somewhat better

2008-10-19T19:38:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a little better today although still pretty dazed. Probably from lack of food. Unfortunately, not eating hasn't made as big an impact on my weight as I'd like. Hopefully, per my last rant, er blog that is, I can get an appointment soon and find out if I'd hopeless or just hormonal, LOL!

Anyway, Mike got up with Connor this morning shortly before 7 and I slept in another few hours. I also slept during Connor's nap today and then Mike took the boys to his parents house. Because I am so behind and the dirty house is making me feel sicker I tried to clean some. I did some laundry, folded some already done laundry, put up some clothes that have been folded for several days (noticing a trend here?), then swept, mopped and shopped (for the things I forgot Friday in my weakened state) Now I am tired and ready for bed. Hopefully Connor will sleep tonight as he hasn't made it through the night in the last 3 days which hasn't helped me feel any better.

I still haven't got any photos uploaded but I did take a cute little quiz off of Kaycee's blog so I'll post that. It only had 3 questions but I guess the info fits...

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant-Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.

You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.

Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.

You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Could there be an end in sight?

2008-10-17T19:51:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling miserable all week with some odd thing that makes me congested and nauseous at the same time. I've been blaming it on allergies since Benadryl makes me feel better, but in truth I noticed that Benadryl helps my nausea while I was pregnant with Connor. I took some for allergies as it was on my approved list and I actually felt normal--did I mention I get sick all day every day for about 5 months while I'm pregnant, both times. Until I got the Zofran I would allow myself one Benadryl a week and it was heaven to both feel okay AND sleep!

Anyway, I'm totally digressing. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. The scary thing is I've said that alot the last few years. Yes, Connor isn't the best sleeper in the world but even when I go a few weeks with no wake ups I'm still tired. I did okay when Mike was gone but I'm being to think that literally was an ACT OF GOD. Anyway, I've had a thought off and on about my Mirena. I actually discussed having it out last year but the doctor talked me into keeping it. My PMS gets so bad at times I've taken pregnancy tests just in case. Even when I was working out during the Spring I only managed to get 10 pounds off and still not down to where I was when I got pregnant. That was already 7 pounds or so higher than normal since I stress ate during my mother's Cancer (if you don't know, I got pregnant the week after she died). Obviously I didn't lose since by the time I got back on a workout program I was a month along.

Okay, so Mike has been bringing it up lately that I should get it removed. Because I spot off and on so much. After reading up I see alot of women with alot of my issues I didn't know were possibly related. The weight gain, increased depression, mood swings, back pain, acne, pelvic pain, decreased libedo (now you know way to much about me, LOL!), panic attacks, restlessness, headaches, etc. I've been getting dull pains in my right lower abdominal also that I never told anyone about AND I get winded and ache just climbing the stairs. Have I mentioned that I'm really thinking about having a mid-life crisis because all of this has made me feel so OLD!

I'm really really hoping and praying it is related to the IUC so I can finally feel better. On Monday I'm going to try and call a new doctor--my doctor doesn't take our new insurance--but I'm not sure how to find one that isn't so PRO-MIRENA. From the posts I read that seems to happen alot. I just really really hope this will help because I'm not ready to be old yet, especially since I need to chase a 2 year old around. The weird thing but good as it matches my issues, is that the symptoms these women have often seem to start awhile after they got the IUC and at times they are somewhat better. I geuss it's because the hormones fluctuate.

Okay, that's my rant for today. Tomorrow maybe I'll finally download the softwear for my camera so I can post pic's of my boys. Actually, the post could be much more negative because I was in a mood today to scream about how selfish everyone is. After being cut off and cut in front of by people who thought it was my problem that they didn't get in the correct lane to begin with, my mood swing was definitely toward the negative side! At least with this post even though I'm complaining at least I'm hopeful I might be a happier person in the future. Hope, hope, hope, pray, pray, pray...

Morning again

2008-10-16T09:01:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Blogspot. I'm saying goodmorning to my blog because I think I'm alone again. It was such a rush the other day to get 11 comments on my poor little blog. I was so excited about SITS and though I'm enjoying reading other blogs I think it may be back to just being me, myself and I over here. Oh well, at least I enjoy looking at the fall colors I've decorated my blog with. Since I can't have them in my world at least I can have them here!

I'm trying to build up the energy for a Target excursion. My favorite place in the world and I'm actually too draggy to get moving. Darn allergies! I'm going to look for that non-drowsy Benadryl so I haven't taken any Claritin this morning and I'm feeling it. Guess I'll have to try though as Connor is insisting something is at the back door--he really just wants me off the computer though and since he just banged his chin into the desk I guess I'd better comply!

Auction?

2008-10-15T17:37:00.000-05:00

I'm seriously considering auctioning off 2 beautiful young boys. Full of energy and imagination they will completely "redecorate" your home in mere minutes. Provided you like the totally destroyed look they are quite handy to have around. No major defects unless you count Sean's ADHD and Connor's Terrible Two stage. They are very cheap to feed. You won't have to worry about purchasing expensive fruit and veggies as these will only go to waste. In fact if you take a large Halloween sack on the 31st you can probably keep them satisfied for weeks on lollipops alone. At the moment they are only clad in underwear--and only because I forced them into those--so clothing will not be a big expense either. Don't bother with new clothes as they will be stained at the first wearing anyway. Be careful though, the little one may stick to metal as we are still missing several magnets that his older brother was told to never have within his reach. As you can see by the photo below they photograph beautifully and will be a great addition to any Holiday portrait, provided it's one of the days they will stay in one place for more than 2 seconds. All serious offers considered...

Seriously, it's partly my fault for being sick but what a day for the boys to decide on pure chaos. Did I mention that Connor climbed up on the bathroom counter and turned the water on, stopped up the sink, and flooded the carpet...What a day to feel lousy. I'm sure it's allergies because once I was able to take a Benadryl last night I felt better. Unable to function due to the drowsiness but better none-the-less, LOL! Someone at Bible Study told me there is a non-drowsy Benadryl and if I had the energy I'd go to the store and find some.

Yes, I did go to Bible Study. I decided it was a better choice then laying on the couch and having Connor try and get me up to go play. He had fun and I felt better at the time due to some Claritin. It has worn off now though. I also took Connor to McDonald's because the playground was too wet for him to play outside. Unfortunately, it took me so long to get him out of there I didn't have time to rest much before picking Sean up from School. I would hope for some relief once Mike gets home but he's already complaining about how I can't deal with the kids so I don't see much hope there either.

Hopefully, the weather will change and I'll feel better--it's still dad gum HOT here and humid to boot! As much as I love TX I hate that it is still almost 90 in mid-October. I just talked to my friend in MI and the leaves are turning and they went to a bonfire at church last week. I'm so jealous. Someday I hope to at least visit a state that has Autumn so I can see the leaves turn and enjoy the brisk weather. Oh well, maybe it will cool off by January!

Oops--let's get this right SITS Blogathon

2008-10-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

Let's try this again so I can link into the blogathon. Remember I said I was technologically challenged but give me a break. They didn't even offer computer classes in my high school so I'm coming along slowly. Not to mention the fact that I've been out of the office for over 7 years. OMG (for the record the big G in my blog is for GOSH!) that makes me sound so out of the loop. Hopefully this great blogsite SITS--see the cute pink button above--will help me out here. Plus is seems like a great way to connect. I'm not sure if my post has to have favorites in it. Hopefully not since I just got started and do need to get downstairs. Obviously Kaycee is a fav since she is on my site twice---her blog and store--and Janet who may or may not be linked on SITS but who inspired me to try this. I really like the way it was described as a sorority on Angie's Spot. Neat idea--I regret not joining ASA's in college so maybe I'll get that type of thing here!

technologically challenged

2008-10-14T16:50:00.000-05:00

Okay an hour later I've finally discovered how to add buttons on my blog. I've added Kaycee's boutique (Prissy Miss) and The Secret is in the Sauce. Thanks Kaycee for the info on that one. Hopefully I can meet some bloggers there and exchange comments with them. Someday soon maybe I can actually enter the 21st century of technology, LOL! If any of my family is out there reading this check out the site and you should find plenty to read. I haven't gotten to read anything yet but I look forward to getting back here soon to do so. Since I've left the boys alone downstairs--don't worry I'm in the loft so I can hear any screaming or breaking glass (so far so good)--I should probably get off now. Plus it's dinner time but here I am reading blogs instead of cooking dinner. BTW I have the door alarm on so I do know if they try and wander out into traffic or anything...

Costumes

2008-10-10T20:06:00.000-05:00

I wish I could get paid for the man hours I put into the boys, and Mike's, Halloween costumes. If only I'd listened to my mother and took Home Ec and could sew it would all be so much easier. I decided Connor should be Curious George and that I would create a Man in the Yellow Hat for Mike (because they are $40 online before tax and shipping!).

I spent last Friday running around from Goodwill to Goodwill searching for parts to costumes for Mike and Sean. Sean will be Cooper from a Playstation game--he's a "good" Raccoon Thief, um okay right?!? I'm carrying around the game cover trying to match things to it. So far I found a cane, a mask, a hat I can dye to match and he has gloves and a shirt. I guess I'll have to hand sew the pants (they are fur so essentially no pants at all-- and I threatened to just make Sean go bare down below, LOL!), tail and ears. Mike got a yellow shirt and I'm going to get some yellow scrub pants to match. I will paint a witches hat yellow and he can wear boots. None of the Halloween stores have George so I thought I'd order online. Guess what? They are out of toddler sizes of the version I want. Drat!!!! So now I'm trying to win one on EBAY. I'm so limited because it can't be too warm since it's still in the 80s here.

I'm reading at Sean's school Halloween and planned to match the book until I found out the teacher picked one about a duck running for president. I just don't feel like being a duck all day. I've got enough "fluff" without adding more! Besides I don't have the energy to try and come up with a duck suit. Guess I'll just wear the purple shirt with the black glitter bats I got yesterday. I thought the "You don't scare me. I've got kids!" shirt I also got (orange and black) wouldn't be appropriate at school. I'll save it for Trick or Treat and the Harvest Fest at church.

Okay one more hour and they should be asleep. Connor was up from 2:30-4:30 last night so I'm beat but I've had so much caffeine today I probably won't sleep anyway...

Sean had his bike rodeo today so I'm adding a few pictures. He has a major crush on the little girl in his class picture that won the trophy. He gets all silly when he sees her picture and he said he plans to be in love with her when he grows up!

BUGS!

2008-10-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh, I HATE bugs. I'm so phobic it's really really sad--especially for someone with a Psych degree because I know I should face it but EEK, they'd make me touch the things!!!

Today I've spent at least an hour trying to find out if the bug below bug stings or bites. I'm thrilled I finally have a name for the sucker but cannot find any info on biting, etc. People seem thrilled to post photos (gives me the heebie-jeebies just to look at them!) of them and discuss details but not the main one for me. We get them in the fall here and they love the trees we have on the side of the house. It's the second house we've had with those trees and I noticed an increase of these bugs so concluded a correlation (that's Statistics of Psych terminology, LOL!) Anyway, one landed on me while Connor and I were playing T-Ball outside. It didn't bite but I have so many "run-in's" with them I'm determined to get an answer. Do I believe with 2 beautiful boys to talk about that I am actually wasting my time blogging about a bug--yes and if you have phobias you understand.

As far as they boys, they are keeping me busy. Connor thinks he's a cat. Hmmm, wonder if cats eat those bugs? I've been wanting to get a cat, besides Connor of course. Sean is a handful. Still eating like crazy but his behavior is still not where it should be. Again, I'm still lost on that front.

Mike is now officially promoted to I guess Regional Manager is the correct title. I'll have to ask him but it's over most of TX. He's a little overwhelmed with getting promoted before he really mastered the last position but I told him not to say "NO". We'll see what happens next since he was promoted in 4 months with this company. Actually, I think they had it in mind when they hired him. Hopefully, he will still be happy. So far he's glad he didn't stay with the company in Waco even though they told him he'd take over a company w/in 2 years. He'd like to have a little more time for the boys than that would allow. He's hoping this one will not take over his entire life.

Okay I'm posting the photo of the bug. If any of the few people who read this know if the things stings please tell me. Yes, I'm totally irrational but I can't help it. Fortunately, the things seem to fly slowly so I can usually outrun them--they do tend to fly right for you though. Mike says they don't' see well but I think they are aggressive personally!

Last day gone

2008-10-02T18:07:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness it's Mike's last day in McAllen AND the last day of early dismissal. Even more exciting--for me--Connor has MDO tomorrow. I can' wait to go costume shopping. I love to shop and mostly for bargains. Okay, only for bargains. I can hardly force myself to buy something that's not on sale. Even at Marshalls or Ross I head straight for the clearance racks. Tomorrow I hit the big one--Goodwill. I can't go there with Connor because to be honest it's kind of dirty in there but it's the perfect place to shop for Sean and Mike's costumes. There is a Party City in the same center so I'll look for Curious George as well.

I ended up getting Connor down late--after 2--thanks to early dismissal so we will have a late night. I hate waking him from naps but at 4 I had no choice unless I plan to be up until midnight. I need to get on a better schedule because it seems I'm always getting him down around 1 then having to wake him to go get Sean. Oh well, I'm always planning to get organized but never seem to actually do so. Right now I need to go clean up Sean's room so we can go to the school and practice riding his bike. He never rides and the Bike Rodeo is in a week. Mike won't let him do it again in training wheels but of course they have only practiced twice since last year. I'm sure I shouldn't mention that Mike should have tried harder to get him to try instead of say going to the gym or just letting him play on the computer...

Still haven't downloaded the info from the digital camera but I did finally go to my photobucket account and get some more pictures of the boys. I love this one!

Early Dismissal

2008-09-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

Well Sean has early dismissal for the next 3 days so nap time is all messed up. I was hoping Connor would fall asleep in the car but no such luck. I can tell he's tired but at this point I hate to try and get him to sleep as it will be 2 by the time I do so. Tomorrow I have my conference so I'm going to try and get an early nap in so he won't be fussy at KidSpace. On top of that Sean has Karate that evening so I don't want a difficult child at 6 PM. I think I'm going to try and get both boys up early and, finally, walk Sean to school. Besides the exercise for me it might calm Sean down a little for class. It should be an interesting conference as he's had some issues lately. I tried switching back to his old med's but he got a bad report today so...

This week I've got to get the boys, an Mike's, Halloween costumes together. I may have to order Connor's--Curious George. Mike is going to be The man in the Yellow Hat (of course) but I think I may try and find something at Goodwill because the costume is $40 and it's not like he's going to wear it again! Sean wants to be a character from one of his Playstation games. I'm guessing no one will know what he is--a raccoon "good" thief from the SLY game?!?!--but I guess it's better than being Luke Skywalker for the 3rd time. This one I'll definitely have to make up myself but I need to take the game box to get the right stuff. I'm going to read a story at Sean's school and try and dress in character but the teacher is picking the story. Hopefully she will have done so and I can figure something out for myself as well. Connor get to wear his costume to MDO so I'm glad I saw one that looks lightweight. I want to check the costume store this week in case I have to order it!

I took some photos of the boys but I still have to download the software on the computer. I wish Mike had done it but he's gone for the week now. He did get us hot water but had to turn off the water softener to do so. So my hair looks lousy but I can get a hot bath. Okay gotta go, I think I'm skipping the nap and heading to the gym to give the boys something to do. I took Connor to Breckenridge park to ride the train this morning but he wasn't enthralled like Sean at that age. I don't get it as he loves trains--more so than Sean. Maybe it's just the noise.

Negative Posts

2008-09-29T19:04:00.001-05:00

Well I said I would try and be less negative but reading my last post I see I failed. Today I'm just sleepy and out of sorts. I've been sleepy and just feeling yucky for a few weeks now. I wish I knew what the problem was. I keep thinking it's allergies due to being S. Tx and all but I always see magazine articles about other type allergies. The last one I read was about milk allergies but not intolerance. I've always wondered as milk upset my stomach when I was a child and I've never been particularly fond of it--poor bones of mine! Anyway, maybe I can try to go a few days w/out milk products and see how I feel. Guess that means I'll be eating meat, fruit and veggies for awhile. I always seem to plan on that and can't avoid processed foods!

I did go carb free for 3 weeks before I went out to CO for the wedding and I did lose about 7 pounds then so obviously it would be a good choice for me! I'll try but my willpower tends to fail when I'm sleepy. I also worry about all the Diet Cokes I drink--about 2 a day, yikes. I'm sure that helps my bones especially considering the no milk issue. It is kind of a cycle I guess. I'm sleepy so I drink caffeine then I have trouble sleeping so... Except this weekend I've slept well--I think, Mike's snoring might also be affecting my sleep.

On the snoring front, Mike will be gone all week so we'll see if that helps. Except I don't sleep as well when he's gone because he's gone, LOL!

Busy Busy Sunday at Fiesta TX and IL's

2008-09-28T18:39:00.000-05:00

What a long, long day. Fiesta TX was inexplicably closed yesterday so we skipped church to meet a friend there today instead. It was a nice outing but Connor still isn't quite ready for most of the rides. We finally left at 2 and headed over to my in-laws. Mike insisted we should see them today because it is their anniversary this week. I told him I didn't even know when my parents anniversary was and I didn't think his parents knew when ours was but... Okay maybe I'm the bad one and most kids celebrate their parents anniversary but I don't think so--excluding big one's like 50 of course.

My pet-peeve today is School Fundraisers. I would so much rather write a big check to the school than do this. Since I practically have no family to hit up and I don't work that doesn't leave much. Mike barely knows the people at his new job so won't take it there so that leaves the IL's. So I had Sean give it to them today and true to form they ordered 1 package of candy. Yes that's 1. I'm over here ordering every small item in the stupid catalogue so Sean can get more prizes probably worth a buck and they order a measly bad of peanuts. Okay, yes I know I sound whiny but come on. I really want the canvas portrait made from the photo but its over $30 and I could order 3 things or more for that so I'll go with the junky stuff to make Sean happy. I wish he'd just let me take him to the dollar store--we'd both end up with more stuff that way!

Sleepy again

2008-09-25T10:29:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I am so tired today. I slept well last night. I have been sneezing some so maybe it's just allergies. I wanted to try and meet a friend tonight after she got off work but I'm feeling to tired to go. Fortunately, I never set plans because I wasn't sure Mike would be able to be home. I need to call her anyway to touch base.

Bible Study is good. They split our group into 2 groups and I'm kind of sad as most of the people I know went into the other group. Hopefully I'll make some friends where I am. I also have until Sunday to convince Mike we need to go and join a Life Group. I really want that small group relationship with other families. I can't believe we've been at the church 4 years and haven't joined one yet. There have been 2 he was interested in but they met when Sean has Karate so that never happened. Maybe this time I can convince him.

Still no photos. I am going to try and download some tomorrow while Connor is at MDO. On that note I need to go and run a few errands so I don't have to do them tomorrow and can get some things done around the house.

Finally back

2008-09-22T15:25:00.001-05:00

Not back from anywhere though of course just finally decided to post. The boys are playing downstairs so it may be quick or not depending on how it goes. Sean has been so sweet to Connor lately and after several bad reports from school has had a few good days. In fact he was so good at church Sunday Mike asked him if he was a different child. Probably not a good idea but...

Friday night Mike and I went to see Santana. Not somewhere I would normally go but I'm trying to be more spontaneous. We were lucky enough to get invited by Terry and Sheila who had free tickets--one of the perks of being manager of Mad Dogs I guess--AND get a great babysitter at the last minute. Sean's friend Nik's grandmother not only came on short notice she got both boys to sleep. That is huge for me as no one but Mike or I, mostly "I", have ever done that other than MDO naps. I'm trying to let go some. We now all (all being the 3 couples that went Friday) want to try a night out at PollyEsters for dancing. It's been 4 years since I've been there--for Mike's 20th Reunion--so I guess it's time. Not sure what I have to wear out though and I'm wondering if I can lose 20 pounds in a few weeks, LOL!

Things have been somewhat calmer despite the illness of everyone in the family over the last few weeks. It's making me realize that I do need to stay on my Effexor instead of trying to do it myself. If I can get through all the cleaning and mess of Sean throwing up all over the house without getting too stressed there is surely something in the meds I need!

Well, I got the digital camera so now I need to figure out how to download photos to add to this. I took a few of the boys watching the circus Saturday--it was a big weekend for us! I haven't had any photos of Connor, other than professional, since Christmas as Mike's camera was stolen in February while he was in Europe. Sad that it took us until now to replace it.

I met the nicest lady today. She bought the stroller I posted on Craigslist and I'm glad she did. She just moved here before her 3 month old was born and doesn't know anyone. To make matters worse her husband was deployed to Iraq despite the fact he is retiring in a year. I guess her neighborhood isn't too friendly and her older children are having trouble in school. Unfortunately alot of it has to do with where they bought but I'm trying not to say too much. They needed better guidance from the realtor but then her husband is at Lackland and they are fairly close to it. I'm hoping to find some middle ground where we can meet so I can prove Texans are in fact friendly. Plus I think we have alot in common, YAY!

Happy Morning

2008-09-17T20:15:00.001-05:00

Everyone had a great night last night and got some good sleep. This morning it is a little rainy and still cool but they said we are coming to the end of our cool front. As much as I love living in Texas, and I really do, I don't like the hot weather. I don't want blizzards either but 4 distinct seasons would be nice. Logistically, I would be better off in another part of TX but this is where I think God wants us right now. Plus, as Mike pointed out during the Waco fiasco, at least I am familiar with the town and have our church should we ever have another emergency situation.

Speaking of church, I am so happy that they are collecting clothes for the Ike evacuees. I have so many things from the boys that I was planning to take to the Salvation Army but now I know where they will be going and that's better. I also pulled things out for Noah but haven't taken them over to Don yet. Since I haven't seen Noah lately I'm not sure what size he wears. Since he's a year younger than Connor you would think things would fit him but last time I saw him he was almost the same size. Don said he's not growing as fast as before. That makes sense as he is almost 1 1/2 and probably not taking as many bottles. Connor sure slowed down at that point as well. Both my boys are such light eaters--too bad their Mommy doesn't have that problem!

I'm still trying to get the house cleaned up from the aftermath of the family illness, lol! I did about 6 loads of laundry that day and I've still got some extra sheets and a comforter in the corner of the loft. I want to wash everything anyone touched even if it doesn't look dirty. It's probably not helping to have it out where Connor can lay on it though! Still, I really need to wash some clothes as I haven't done that since Sunday so I'm very behind. I'm actually limited to what color tops I can wear (because my white bra needs washing!) so something needs to get done.

I have to take Connor to KidSpace again as I have a doctors appointment. Actually, it's just a follow-up so no big deal but it's been rescheduled twice already. He seemed to enjoy the gym the other day and bible study yesterday so maybe he won't mind for an hour or two. I think maybe it's starting to get more fun then just hanging out with Mommy. We'll see tomorrow when I take him to MDO. So far that's been an issue when I leave and he's not napping. I can't wait to get to cleaning the garage tomorrow. I'm not sure what we have piled back there. I'm hoping to use that camera I get today, for Mike of course (ha, ha), to take some photos and get some stuff on Craigslist so I can get it out of here. I don't like to deal with it unless Mike is here so the weekend is the best time for people to pick stuff up. Okay, off to check my son. Not a bad post. Not exciting but I'm not pissed off so hey, I'm making progress!

Birthday Present

2008-09-17T20:15:00.000-05:00

Hopefully Mike won't read this before tomorrow. I'm so excited because I thought of a gift for him--one we can all use! He never wants anything and truthfully he does have alot but we need another digital camera because his was stolen in Europe and I can't find the memory cards to the old one. I found one with good reviews and for under $200 so I'm going to Target to get it tomorrow. I've already bought the things for his birthday dinner and he will be in town since he just got over the stomach flu. He was scheduled to be in McAllen Tuesday through late Thursday but now he will be home. I'm sorry he suffered but glad I can do something special for him actually on his birthday. Another bonus is that I can start adding photos to this blog AND I can sell off alot of stuff on Craigslist and maybe pay for the camera, Yea!

The boys are okay but Sean had another bad day at school. Maybe the new med's aren't working. He's eating so much better than on the last one but he can't keep getting in trouble everyday after lunch. We've increased the dose but maybe it's not enough to last more than 4-5 hours. It's so frustrating to be medicating your son for ADHD and not even be getting good results. I just wish I knew of another way but I don't know what to try.

Well it's bedtime now so I should stop typing. Had a good day and actually got to go to Bible Study. Connor and I even walked down to the park while Sean and Mike were at Karate so I got a little workout in as well. Now if tonight will just go smooth!

Hot Water Mystery

2008-09-16T21:01:00.000-05:00

My poor sick boys are stuck taking a lukewarm bath again. The same thing happened when I was sick. We can't figure it out. We've never had enough hot water upstairs--yes after almost 4 years in this house we've never found out why! Now, however, it's gotten so bad that we often can't get hot water at all. Last week when I was sick it was not even lukewarm. I don't recommend cold baths and showers when your having stomach issues. We also have no water pressure upstairs. We know this is a Bexar Met issue but when they added tanks last year it should have gotten better not worse. We are very careful not to have anything running when we run the bath but it's gotten so bad even that doesn't help. There seems to be a correlation between the pressure and the temperature level upstairs. Downstairs we can get hot but, alas, no tub or shower down there. To add insult to injury Bexar Met is charging almost $50 a month for improvements. The improvement rate is based on our water bill which went up recently even though we never water. Now we have a bill around $100 for lousy water service!

If any plumbers are out there and know what we should do let me know---I know this is a longshot since only a few people know about this blog but we don't even know where to start.

Sick, sick, sick...

2008-09-16T17:59:00.000-05:00

Okay so last week Connor was sick and then I had it all weekend. Yesterday Mike called to tell me he was sick. Poor baby he had to make the drive all the way across town and actually stopped at our gym for a pit-stop before he got home. About 30 minutes after he got home Sean started throwing up. Unfortunately, poor Sean had been eating everything in sight since he got out of school. Unfortunately for him, my carpet, my bed and Mike that is since Sean threw up on him as well. Sean is never sick. I think this is maybe his 3rd or 4th stomach bug ever which is pretty good for 7+ years. He's not very good at being sick though and cried alot last night.

Mike and Sean ended up in our bedroom since they were both up alot and I slept in Sean's room. Actually, I started in our room with Sean but at 1 AM I switched with Mike so I could get a little sleep. Sean was only up once after that and it was just before I went in to check at 3:30. We all slept in until 8 AM since it was obvious Sean wasn't going to school. He's been sick all day and at the moment is asleep on our bathroom floor--the carpeted part.

I'm wondering if he will be sick again tomorrow and selfishly hoping not since I would then have to again miss Bible Study--Connor threw up as we were leaving for the first session last Wed. I don't even know who all is in my group and I was really looking forward to the fellowship, especially with Angie gone. I really need someone more people to hang out with.

I did talk to Dawn today--college friend--and we're going to try and get together again in the next few weeks. I really enjoyed lunch with her on Connor's first MOPS Friday. I know I need more "girl time" in my life! I'm not the most girly girl but I'm suffering a little from the lack of pampering and pretty things.

As for MOPS I'm worried about Connor. He hasn't seemed happy either week but I'm hoping he will adjust. I really need that day to catch up at home and declutter this house. I saw an article about organizing your life and losing weight and I can see a correlation between the two. I need to get it together and organize all areas including my health. I know the boys would benefit from it as well.

Well off to check on Sean. I have to admit I'm getting a little worried but hopefully he's just sleeping off the illness and we'll all be better tomorrow!

Driver Issues

2008-09-11T17:04:00.000-05:00

I don't understand why people seem to have such a hard time understanding how to drive, how to take turns in the car pick-up land at school, and what laws are. It's so easy at school if you take turns but for the second time in 2 days the people in the lane across from me decided to jump not only in front of me but also the person to the left of me who I was waiting on. Even after all that the person behind them also tried to jump in front of me and I was the one turning right so it was only because of my good nature that ANY of them were getting to go in the first place. The person in front of me went then the idiot turning left blocked traffic by pulling behind her when there was no room to pull out of the street, obviously there was no doubt in my mind what the correct order was. I tried to let the person on the side street go because according to courtesy it was her turn, when the SUV turning left pulled into the lane then acted like she didn't understand why I indicated that it was the other cars turn (by pointing, not any obscene gestures). Seriously, one of these days I'm getting out of my car and give them a piece of my mind.

As far as the rest of the laws, we seems to have many people who can't read speed limit signs nor do they know any of the basic laws taught in Driver's Ed. People in our neighborhood constantly go 30 or less on the main road which is 40 mph but I've seen the same people speed up to 40 in the residential section which is 30 because people are walking or running OR kids are around. I've also noticed the slow driver's rarely use their blinkers so I know they aren't going slow because they are cautious drivers! I also don't get why people don't know that blinkers are not only an indication that you are going to turn but also that you are going to slow down. The people that actually do use blinkers all seem to hit the brakes first then turn their blinker on. AND if one more idiot jerks into my lane causing me to slam on my brakes while my kids are in the car I may seriously start carrying a gun again. I swear if my children are hurt in that type of situation I can't imagine a jury in the world that would convict me!

Actually, the real problem is that everyone thinks they are the most important person in the world. I don't get it, it's so easy to be considerate and it feels so good to do a simple thing for another person like open a door or let them go first if they are holding a screaming toddler. Goodness knows I would love someone to do that for me but it seems rare these days.

Connor's sick

2008-09-10T10:08:00.000-05:00

I almost made it out the door but while I was getting Connor's shoes he suddenly threw up. On the couch of course. Poor baby, he's been clingy all morning and not eating but then he never eats. I thought he might have a headache from the high humidity and pressure--the hurricane is definitely on it's way! He just wants to lay around in his diaper and have me in the room with him. Of course he seems much better now that it's too late for us to go to Bible Study. Not that I could go anyway since I don't know what made him sick.

Okay, now he's here by me whining for me so I guess all my posts will be this short unless Mike gets the laptop working again. Drat, it's going to be a long day!

Sleepy

2008-09-08T22:04:00.000-05:00

Another big political fight on the Babycenter board. I just get tired of people making blanket accusations. I understand if they have struggled but who hasn't. Maybe I get to live in a great neighborhood and stay home with the boys but how much of it would I give up for a family to rely on. I'm so jealous of people with sisters they get together with and laugh. I miss my mother so bad and I feel weak because it's been over 3 years. I'm jealous most of all for my boys who are missing out on that love they would have gotten from my parents. Also, for not having cousins to play with or aunts and uncles who are really a part of their lives. I want to give them so much more but I can't give them family no matter how much I want to, how much money I have or don't have, nor how much I try.

Hypocrites

2008-09-04T18:25:00.000-05:00

I can't believe the media, or actually I expected it in truth, being all worried about Gov. Palin's young children at home. Okay, I'm a SAHM so yes I feel it is good for mother's to stay home with their children. However, it is amazingly hypocritical coming from the left-wing media to suddenly change their stance on this. I love that I heard 2 liberal women who were soooo concerned about those young children. What happened to Women's Empowerment? I guarantee if this was said about a non-conservative woman these would be the first to scream sexism.

I can't help but like Sarah. When I saw her name scroll across the screen (I was at the gym) I literally started laughing. I can't believe Sen. McCain from the intolerant, sexist, racist, backward-thinking GOP had the audacity to pick a female running mate. And yes, that is sarcastic and yes I am a Republican. I haven't had a chance to listen in but how is Europe taking this? I mean Sen. Obama didn't pick Hillary but McCain picked a woman.

Okay, off my high-horse. The children are calling (read screaming repeatedly) for me to come down. I can't believe I wrote I political blog but then no one is reading it so I guess it's really like a journal for now!