Still Here

Hard to believe but 3 months in and we're still in NC. I don't know if it's easier or just more familiar. At least I can find my way to 2 Target stores now. On the other hand I don't like them as much as the 2 stores that were within 5 miles of our house in San Antonio. The boys are both in school now so I have a few hours to myself during the week. Unfortunately, the church where Connor is takes about 20 minutes to get to and with only 3 hours I pretty much stay in the area. I'm making it to the gym more (5 minutes from his school) but it's not good for our bank account as I have lots of time to waste---shopping! Also, our house is suffering because once I get home I don't feel like cleaning. Of course with his bad sleeping and my increased allergies I don't feel like doing much most of the time anyway. It is getting a little dusty in here.

We have taken our first vacation and with it taken advantage of our new proximity to the everything on the East Coast. To play it safe we had a beach trip to Myrtle Beach. I really recommend it! It's a great family destination and I think it would have been fun before we had kids as well. We stayed on Kingston Plantation which is owned by Hilton. It has a couple of hotels but we stayed in a 2 bedroom condo. For 3 nights it was just over $300! We got a special rate with one night free and were concerned it wasn't a great "room" but it turned out to be really nice and only a few minutes to the waterpark and beach. We also enjoyed the Boardwalk area (the one we visited but apparently there are several). Next time we go I also want to visit Dolly Parton's western dinner show. I think it looks like something the kids might like with the horses and riders.

Anyway, we're going to try and visit some other destinations we've always wanted to see. Guess we'd better hurry, you never know when Mike's going to end up getting another job back in TX ;-)



Myrtle Beach Aquarium --lots of Fun!

We have no idea why Connor likes to "throw" gang signs. Usually it's both boys and I swear they don't watch rap videos or "gangsta" movies!

Not sure what a dinosaur has to do with a boardwalk but the boys loved it!

And finally a picture actually taken AT the beach

I don't like change so what am I doing in NC

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't like change I never did which is why I've lived in TX for over 40 years. I do not like NOT living in Texas. I do not like living in NC especially a small town. I don't like not knowing where anything is or who anyone is.

And I especailly don't like that my sweet son who loved his school so much is having so much trouble here. Or that my youngest child is mad at Jesus because he won't take him home to San Antonio. I wish more than anythign that I'd learned to appreciate what I had and not taken a chance. I don't like chances and I don't know how to fix it...

Just an update

What a surprise today when I finally looked at my blog--all the sweet comments. I almost deleted the post awhile back because to be honest I feel guilty. That's always been one of my biggest failings and sins I guess, feeling guilty about things I should feel forgiven about.

As to me, I half-heartedly started a new blog for my new life here in North Carolina. Since I only have one post I can't say I've been very dedicated to it either :-) I knew I'd feel down leaving TX but I've really let it get to me and I don't just want to blog sad whiny posts! I'll get it together once I get the house up to speed. I'm letting the amount of work I want to do wear me out before I start and that's a bad thing. On the other hand I hit it on our old house hard from February until April then of course keeping it in show condition once it hit the market. Fortunately it sold really fast (yes, I'm completely aware that was a God-thing in this housing market so I need to completely accept this is HIS plan for me) but then that necessitated the organizing and packing which was always tiring.

I'm hoping for some energy soon. Not sure if it's mood related or thyroid (lack of one) related. I need to find a new doctor once Connor starts Pre-K in September and get everything under control. For now I think I'll just get dinner done and hope my family is happy with that much!

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was born into a family that taught her about God's love. She grew up to know about His Son and how he died for her. She loved church. Which was a good thing because she was there every time the doors opened.

Then one sad May, her father died. The following May she began dating a boy from church. In the fall she went into a new class. The only problem was the "queen bee" in the new class wanted the boy for herself. She and the other girls made a point to be hateful to the little girl. Eventually, she stopped going to church but she still loved God.

Years later after the little girl had spent too many years in the world, she had a little boy. She wanted to be sure her little boy knew that God loved him and what Jesus had done for him. She decided to take her family to church. The only problem was her little boy was a little hyper but he was only 2 so what could you do. One day the church told her they had started a file on her little boy because he was bad. She felt awful and prayed so hard that she could help her little boy. She kept going to church. Then one day after bible study a staff member was waiting to talk to her. They said her little boy had bitten the teacher. Only the teacher had told her a different story. One about her little boy behaving like alot of 2 year olds do. When she tried to explain she was yelled at and told her son was violent and that it must be coming from his home. This all happened in the hallway in front of all the other Mommies and the little girl cried. She was told not to bring her little boy back for 2 weeks and to do something about his violent issues. When the teacher told the staff member she was wrong and another child bit the teacher, the staffer just walked away without another word. When the little girl called to talk to the staffers boss they stood behind her---even though she was wrong. The little girl took her family and left. But she missed God.

A few years later she tried again even though she was very very afraid and rarely took her child around other kids. She found somewhere she liked and even a teacher who understood her child. She was happy. Years went by and life took many turns. Many of them difficult. Her church grew and changed. There was another sweet child to raise but they didn't go to church as often as before.

One day she decided to try again and joined a bible study. It wasn't a subject she was interested in but her neighbor asked her to join that class. He youngest wasn't happy about going and never slept at night so the little girl was tired all the time. But still, she missed God so she went to try and get closer to Him. Her friend wasn't there that day. The class didn't really interest her. In fact the subject was uncomfortable and she was hearing things about people she really didn't want to know. One person dominated the class and brought up things that weren't appropriate. She wanted to leave. She didn't. One person asked a question and after 2 other people had spoke, the little girl started to say something encouraging to that person. While words were coming out of her mouth the dominating person suddenly and loudly started talking over her. She talked for 15 more minutes.

The little girl was tired, no sleep remember, and lonely, DH travels every week for his job, and it made her feel really bad. The little girl didn't have anyone around she could talk to. She made a mistake. She posted a comment on Facebook so maybe someone would see she was hurting and call her so she could talk. It was a generic comment about someone cutting her off and no one was named. She forgot that she had 2 "friends" on FB who went to her church.

She got a call from her small group leader supposedly concerning the email she had sent explaining why she didn't feel comfortable in the class and would be leaving. She didn't feel like talking but called back. After pretty much apologizing for even saying anything she felt better but still not likely to go back. Then the leader berated her for her FB post--the leader is NOT a "friend" on FB. Apparently someone felt the need to find out which group the little girl was in an tattle on her. The little girl did not talk about what was said, did not name people, and did not mention what group she was in.

The little girl is sick, and tired, and sad and now she doesn't have anyplace to take her sweet children to learn about Jesus. And she totally understands why so many people hate the church.

Build-a-Bear

Yes, today I took Connor to Build-a-Bear. Sean went in the fall for a party and came home with a pretty cool bear. Connor has a few stuffed animals but most are actually Sean's and Connor has a Teddy Bear Picnic tomorrow at preschool. I decided he needed his own special bear.

This probably isn't the best time since tomorrow I am also mailing our massive property tax payment thus seriously depleting our savings account. I guess I wanted him to have a fun experience. It seems with Sean I had so much more energy (not to mention time with only 1 kid) and we were always at the zoo, park, Fiesta Texas, and so on. Connor goes to the store alot, the gym when I can get him there, and to take Sean places. I'd like to improve my energy enough that we're at least doing park visits more often.

He was so quiet and serious at the mall. The last time he was at the mall with just me was probably over a year ago in a stroller so I'm sure he doesn't remember it. We all went Christmas 2008 to look at a washer/dryer at Sears and got out of there ASAP so he can't remember much then either.

He loved Build-a-Bear. He even chose the shirt that had their logo on it. That and the helmet and knee/elbow pads so I guess he's got a skater bear. He listened intently to the building instructions and immediately chose the heart that said "I love you". He loves carrying Tedi (his choice, my spelling to shake things up a bit) and giving him kisses. I kinda wish he hadn't picked the helmet as I was hoping Tedi would encourage him to sleep in his bed instead of mine (every night this week!). Perhaps we'll just take his helmet off at bedtime. I can always hope. The bear ended up being $25 so I'm hoping it has some benefit for me as well!

Sunday Morning

It's 10:45 Sunday morning and I'm most obviously NOT in church. I'm feeling ambivalent about my church lately. In the beginning I loved it. When my mother was sick and Mike in Iraq I went every Sunday. The last year or so I've just dragged around. I haven't been able to get myself motivated by the Wednesday morning Bible Studies and we STILL don't have Sunday School because 6 years later we're STILL meeting in a school.

I think that may be part of my unrest. I understand the low or no-debt thing but really with 800 members and 6 years of existence I think a church building would be nice. We've already paid off the $1 million plus cost of the land. We had to put a building on the lot or get hit with paying taxes (gee, I guess you can't claim tax-free status on cedar trees) but it's mostly for youth functions and training. I think they mentioned men's bible studies but not women's (????) My church is big on small groups which we've never done with Mike's work schedule. I know we're using that as an excuse but there it is.

Some people have been leaving or complaining amongst themselves that this leads to cliques. I have heard of visitors saying we are a very cliquish church (and I've heard it from old-time members as well). I do know when I went to one bible study all but 2 of us had our kids at the same exclusive Christian school (maybe when Connor is in school I can get a job to afford their tuition :) many in the same class. Even though the leader was great, I did feel excluded as they often discussed things only "insiders" would know. Oddly, one lady talked about relying on God for things because they were in the ministry and very limited on funds. I'm wondering where they came up with the thousands of dollars to pay for their kids each year. Maybe I'm just grumpy because she totally blew me off when I tried to speak to her once--actually to pay her a compliment!

The other night I found myself watching Alan Jackson's Precious Memories concert. I remember almost all those old songs from growing up. They have such spirit, such faith, and they truly move me. I think I felt the Lord more sitting in front of the TV then I have anywhere else lately. Our pastor says he's not there to feed us and that it's up to us but I still feel something missing. I know I need to build my personal time and relationship with the Lord. Still...I'm sad.

Just Pictures

I've got nothing interesting to say so I'm just posting pictures of my boys.