Sunday Morning

It's 10:45 Sunday morning and I'm most obviously NOT in church. I'm feeling ambivalent about my church lately. In the beginning I loved it. When my mother was sick and Mike in Iraq I went every Sunday. The last year or so I've just dragged around. I haven't been able to get myself motivated by the Wednesday morning Bible Studies and we STILL don't have Sunday School because 6 years later we're STILL meeting in a school.

I think that may be part of my unrest. I understand the low or no-debt thing but really with 800 members and 6 years of existence I think a church building would be nice. We've already paid off the $1 million plus cost of the land. We had to put a building on the lot or get hit with paying taxes (gee, I guess you can't claim tax-free status on cedar trees) but it's mostly for youth functions and training. I think they mentioned men's bible studies but not women's (????) My church is big on small groups which we've never done with Mike's work schedule. I know we're using that as an excuse but there it is.

Some people have been leaving or complaining amongst themselves that this leads to cliques. I have heard of visitors saying we are a very cliquish church (and I've heard it from old-time members as well). I do know when I went to one bible study all but 2 of us had our kids at the same exclusive Christian school (maybe when Connor is in school I can get a job to afford their tuition :) many in the same class. Even though the leader was great, I did feel excluded as they often discussed things only "insiders" would know. Oddly, one lady talked about relying on God for things because they were in the ministry and very limited on funds. I'm wondering where they came up with the thousands of dollars to pay for their kids each year. Maybe I'm just grumpy because she totally blew me off when I tried to speak to her once--actually to pay her a compliment!

The other night I found myself watching Alan Jackson's Precious Memories concert. I remember almost all those old songs from growing up. They have such spirit, such faith, and they truly move me. I think I felt the Lord more sitting in front of the TV then I have anywhere else lately. Our pastor says he's not there to feed us and that it's up to us but I still feel something missing. I know I need to build my personal time and relationship with the Lord. Still...I'm sad.

Just Pictures

I've got nothing interesting to say so I'm just posting pictures of my boys.

San Antonio Silliness or Save us We're Freezing to Death

Okay, I admit I'm cold. I admit, I'm seriously seriously laughing at the whole Global Warming thing because it's gosh darn cold this year (but I still Recycle because Global Warming or not we are supposed to be stewards of the earth and we have abused it). Still, I just got an email from Sean's school titled "Inclement Weather". It went on to note they would open at 6:45 so parents could drop kids off early rather than make them wait for the bus. I do appreciate that, although we don't get bus service, as I hate to think of cold kiddos, still...when did 25 degree temps w/out any precipitation equal inclement weather. Yes, it's cold. Yes, it's been cold longer than most years but it's no 11 below with icy roads.

I bought the kids hats and gloves. I shaved the fuzz off an old wool coat to wear for myself--I usually only need jackets. But people here are acting like a blizzard is bearing down. As one who lived in slightly colder temperatures (okay West Texas but it SNOWS and gets down in the teens not to mention the vicious wind chill) 25 is uncomfortable but doable. I can see worrying about the homeless of which I'm sure we have a higher population due to the normally temperate winters. I can see worrying about our animals. My dog hates the house so she'll be sleeping in the garage on blankets with a heated fan. Okay yes, I was afraid of the space heater because of the amount of junk that could burn in our garage! It's not really that cold in there so she'll be fine.

I just imagine those in, as MckMama calls it, the Frozen Tundra getting a look at our dire newscasts and laughing themselves silly! Now, excuse me, I have to go feed the dog and turn on her heater :-)

Facebook Fun

I've been MIA alot on FB lately but I must say I love how I'm "finding" people I haven't seen in 20 or more years. Last month I finally got to have lunch with a friend from elementary school (the stars aligned and we had no sick kids on the same day our kids were in school/preschool). We spent over 2 hours talking and that wasn't enough time.

Today I had lunch with my friend Stephanie from high school. One of the other girls in our little group that did everything together. It was great! I haven't seen her in more than 17 years. Unfortunately, the last time was at the funeral of one of our best friends. Today was certainly a more pleasant occasion. 17 years ago I had just met Mike so you can imagine how much we had to catch up on. We didn't even get close when I had to dash away to get Connor (yes, I was late but only a few minutes)

I really really need to get the house cleaned up and have a get together here. Funny thing is Kelley (elementary friend) and Steph live within 10 minutes of each other and only about 20 minutes from me. Provided it's not rush hour. Steph missed both Reunions so I wish we were having one this year. I'm wondering if maybe we can have some little get together here or even San Angelo even if it's not official. I love memories...

Happy Birthday Jesus

I never blog anymore but in case anyone is out there (Janet :-) I felt I really should at least put up some Christmas pictures! The bottom 2 are at Fiesta Texas. We've had passes every year since Sean was 4 but never gone to the Holiday in the Park. What a mistake. We had such a great time. The weather was great--in the low 60's--the crowds were small, and the Christmas show excellent! Christmas has been very low key this year. We had Don over briefly for Christmas Eve tamales before he had to run back and play Santa for his undeserving daughters. We went to church and my MIL met us there but somehow I just didn't get much out of it this year and it was a little unorganized *sigh*

Today we hung out forever while I painted the wall to the office (our former loft that we enclosed last year but Mike just textured a few days ago). The outside is done so now I've just got to finish the inside. While I painted he put together a pool table his mother bought the boys then we went to her house for Christmas dinner. Now I'm just ready for some sleep.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Why is it that I feel the need to start each Not Me Monday with the fact that it's been forever since I've done Not Me's. Oh well, a dedicated blogger I'm not.

I did not stay up past midnight most nights last week finishing Halloween costumes for my boys despite the fact it's only been 3 weeks since I actually had an organ removed and I should be resting.

I did not say, yet again, next year I'll have taken a sewing class and this will not happen because I could whip up the costumes in a few hours if I wasn't sewing by hand.

I certainly did not tell my oldest child he had to stop wanting to be things that are hard to buy at the store, certainly not, especially since it was my idea to surprise him with a Sonic the Hedgehog costume!

I know I did not run around at the last minute trying to create a Scooby Doo costume even though Connor had originally said he wanted to wear his monkey costume from last year. Of course I couldn't possibly just buy the darn $40 costume from Target. No I must spend countless hours and gas to drive around and find a fleece outfit I can convert thus saving a few dollars (of course I can remove the spots and then it's just a warm outfit :-)

After all that, I know I didn't go to the Halloween party at the gym because DH complained that he couldn't work out if I stayed home--to rest considering the late nights, surgery and the fact he'd been out of town the preceeding weeks and I'd been alone to take care of the boys.

I certinaly did not NOT post the cute pictures of the boys because the one that best shows their costumes also includes me and I really hate how I look. I'm never that vain!

I did not skip church Sunday, after going to the party at the gym, then go to both Sean's makeup soccer game AND our church's Harvest Festival. I didn't use the excuse that I was too tired to make the 9 AM service and the 11 AM was cutting it too close to the soccer game.

Finally, I didn't respond to many people who asked how I was doing, that I was still waiting for the med's to kick in because I was told they would make me hyper, warm, and skinny but instead I was tired, cold and fat! I would never put myself down that way but since it elicited a laugh I said it several times...

11 Days Post Surgery

So, having my thyroid out was not the most pleasant experience of my life. I do not like general anesthesia and it does not like me. It was really scary to not be able to wake up that first day. So scary I didn't even take any pain medicine until the following morning. Once I finally woke up I was afraid to get that out of it again. I do not like IV's nor do I like getting up every 2 hours to potty because of constant fluids. I do not like being woken up between my 2 hour potty breaks to be stuck and drained or checked for signs of life :-) The good news is there is no cancer. Of course, that makes me seriously wonder if the pain was worth it. The med's are weird. At first I felt energy and was hot (maybe a little too high a dose but nice after years of fatigue) but now I'm cold (it is cooler but not cold here) and tired all day but awake at night. I see my endo this week so I'll ask her about the dose.

Not sure how I'm doing overall (besides the not having cancer part of course). I think I'm up and around too much and tire myself out just trying to do the normal day-to-day stuff. Forunately, I'm doing okay because Mike decided to take care of me the days after my surgery by leaving the house with the children all day. Yes, it was quiet but the first day especially was a little scary being all alone and feeling that bad. I made it through though. Now I'm back to being a single Mommy while he's out of town all week for the next several weeks. Fortunatly, Connor has preschool 2 days of the week and my plan is to come straight back and rest while he's there. Wednesday he has a birthday party but hopefully my rest on Tuesday will have me up for that. Not looking forward to Wednesday evening either when I drop Sean at ckarate as Connor always wants to play on the playground--not sure I can keep up right now!

I actually seem to feel more tired this week than last. Possibly because after 2 years of drought it has rained almost every day for the last several weeks. It's cool, humid, muddy, damp and I'm sure the mold is off the charts. Not to mention, everything is blooming NOW even though it's October. Probably thinks it's Spring weather somewhere other than South Texas. Silly plants but oh, the pollen is evil!

Well I'm off for more Mommy chores. We're in the process of reclaiming and repurposing some rooms so I've got lots of moving of stuff to do!