Once upon a time there was a little girl who was born into a family that taught her about God's love. She grew up to know about His Son and how he died for her. She loved church. Which was a good thing because she was there every time the doors opened.
Then one sad May, her father died. The following May she began dating a boy from church. In the fall she went into a new class. The only problem was the "queen bee" in the new class wanted the boy for herself. She and the other girls made a point to be hateful to the little girl. Eventually, she stopped going to church but she still loved God.
Years later after the little girl had spent too many years in the world, she had a little boy. She wanted to be sure her little boy knew that God loved him and what Jesus had done for him. She decided to take her family to church. The only problem was her little boy was a little hyper but he was only 2 so what could you do. One day the church told her they had started a file on her little boy because he was bad. She felt awful and prayed so hard that she could help her little boy. She kept going to church. Then one day after bible study a staff member was waiting to talk to her. They said her little boy had bitten the teacher. Only the teacher had told her a different story. One about her little boy behaving like alot of 2 year olds do. When she tried to explain she was yelled at and told her son was violent and that it must be coming from his home. This all happened in the hallway in front of all the other Mommies and the little girl cried. She was told not to bring her little boy back for 2 weeks and to do something about his violent issues. When the teacher told the staff member she was wrong and another child bit the teacher, the staffer just walked away without another word. When the little girl called to talk to the staffers boss they stood behind her---even though she was wrong. The little girl took her family and left. But she missed God.
A few years later she tried again even though she was very very afraid and rarely took her child around other kids. She found somewhere she liked and even a teacher who understood her child. She was happy. Years went by and life took many turns. Many of them difficult. Her church grew and changed. There was another sweet child to raise but they didn't go to church as often as before.
One day she decided to try again and joined a bible study. It wasn't a subject she was interested in but her neighbor asked her to join that class. He youngest wasn't happy about going and never slept at night so the little girl was tired all the time. But still, she missed God so she went to try and get closer to Him. Her friend wasn't there that day. The class didn't really interest her. In fact the subject was uncomfortable and she was hearing things about people she really didn't want to know. One person dominated the class and brought up things that weren't appropriate. She wanted to leave. She didn't. One person asked a question and after 2 other people had spoke, the little girl started to say something encouraging to that person. While words were coming out of her mouth the dominating person suddenly and loudly started talking over her. She talked for 15 more minutes.
The little girl was tired, no sleep remember, and lonely, DH travels every week for his job, and it made her feel really bad. The little girl didn't have anyone around she could talk to. She made a mistake. She posted a comment on Facebook so maybe someone would see she was hurting and call her so she could talk. It was a generic comment about someone cutting her off and no one was named. She forgot that she had 2 "friends" on FB who went to her church.
She got a call from her small group leader supposedly concerning the email she had sent explaining why she didn't feel comfortable in the class and would be leaving. She didn't feel like talking but called back. After pretty much apologizing for even saying anything she felt better but still not likely to go back. Then the leader berated her for her FB post--the leader is NOT a "friend" on FB. Apparently someone felt the need to find out which group the little girl was in an tattle on her. The little girl did not talk about what was said, did not name people, and did not mention what group she was in.
The little girl is sick, and tired, and sad and now she doesn't have anyplace to take her sweet children to learn about Jesus. And she totally understands why so many people hate the church.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Build-a-Bear
Yes, today I took Connor to Build-a-Bear. Sean went in the fall for a party and came home with a pretty cool bear. Connor has a few stuffed animals but most are actually Sean's and Connor has a Teddy Bear Picnic tomorrow at preschool. I decided he needed his own special bear.
This probably isn't the best time since tomorrow I am also mailing our massive property tax payment thus seriously depleting our savings account. I guess I wanted him to have a fun experience. It seems with Sean I had so much more energy (not to mention time with only 1 kid) and we were always at the zoo, park, Fiesta Texas, and so on. Connor goes to the store alot, the gym when I can get him there, and to take Sean places. I'd like to improve my energy enough that we're at least doing park visits more often.
He was so quiet and serious at the mall. The last time he was at the mall with just me was probably over a year ago in a stroller so I'm sure he doesn't remember it. We all went Christmas 2008 to look at a washer/dryer at Sears and got out of there ASAP so he can't remember much then either.
He loved Build-a-Bear. He even chose the shirt that had their logo on it. That and the helmet and knee/elbow pads so I guess he's got a skater bear. He listened intently to the building instructions and immediately chose the heart that said "I love you". He loves carrying Tedi (his choice, my spelling to shake things up a bit) and giving him kisses. I kinda wish he hadn't picked the helmet as I was hoping Tedi would encourage him to sleep in his bed instead of mine (every night this week!). Perhaps we'll just take his helmet off at bedtime. I can always hope. The bear ended up being $25 so I'm hoping it has some benefit for me as well!
This probably isn't the best time since tomorrow I am also mailing our massive property tax payment thus seriously depleting our savings account. I guess I wanted him to have a fun experience. It seems with Sean I had so much more energy (not to mention time with only 1 kid) and we were always at the zoo, park, Fiesta Texas, and so on. Connor goes to the store alot, the gym when I can get him there, and to take Sean places. I'd like to improve my energy enough that we're at least doing park visits more often.
He was so quiet and serious at the mall. The last time he was at the mall with just me was probably over a year ago in a stroller so I'm sure he doesn't remember it. We all went Christmas 2008 to look at a washer/dryer at Sears and got out of there ASAP so he can't remember much then either.
He loved Build-a-Bear. He even chose the shirt that had their logo on it. That and the helmet and knee/elbow pads so I guess he's got a skater bear. He listened intently to the building instructions and immediately chose the heart that said "I love you". He loves carrying Tedi (his choice, my spelling to shake things up a bit) and giving him kisses. I kinda wish he hadn't picked the helmet as I was hoping Tedi would encourage him to sleep in his bed instead of mine (every night this week!). Perhaps we'll just take his helmet off at bedtime. I can always hope. The bear ended up being $25 so I'm hoping it has some benefit for me as well!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sunday Morning
It's 10:45 Sunday morning and I'm most obviously NOT in church. I'm feeling ambivalent about my church lately. In the beginning I loved it. When my mother was sick and Mike in Iraq I went every Sunday. The last year or so I've just dragged around. I haven't been able to get myself motivated by the Wednesday morning Bible Studies and we STILL don't have Sunday School because 6 years later we're STILL meeting in a school.
I think that may be part of my unrest. I understand the low or no-debt thing but really with 800 members and 6 years of existence I think a church building would be nice. We've already paid off the $1 million plus cost of the land. We had to put a building on the lot or get hit with paying taxes (gee, I guess you can't claim tax-free status on cedar trees) but it's mostly for youth functions and training. I think they mentioned men's bible studies but not women's (????) My church is big on small groups which we've never done with Mike's work schedule. I know we're using that as an excuse but there it is.
Some people have been leaving or complaining amongst themselves that this leads to cliques. I have heard of visitors saying we are a very cliquish church (and I've heard it from old-time members as well). I do know when I went to one bible study all but 2 of us had our kids at the same exclusive Christian school (maybe when Connor is in school I can get a job to afford their tuition :) many in the same class. Even though the leader was great, I did feel excluded as they often discussed things only "insiders" would know. Oddly, one lady talked about relying on God for things because they were in the ministry and very limited on funds. I'm wondering where they came up with the thousands of dollars to pay for their kids each year. Maybe I'm just grumpy because she totally blew me off when I tried to speak to her once--actually to pay her a compliment!
The other night I found myself watching Alan Jackson's Precious Memories concert. I remember almost all those old songs from growing up. They have such spirit, such faith, and they truly move me. I think I felt the Lord more sitting in front of the TV then I have anywhere else lately. Our pastor says he's not there to feed us and that it's up to us but I still feel something missing. I know I need to build my personal time and relationship with the Lord. Still...I'm sad.
I think that may be part of my unrest. I understand the low or no-debt thing but really with 800 members and 6 years of existence I think a church building would be nice. We've already paid off the $1 million plus cost of the land. We had to put a building on the lot or get hit with paying taxes (gee, I guess you can't claim tax-free status on cedar trees) but it's mostly for youth functions and training. I think they mentioned men's bible studies but not women's (????) My church is big on small groups which we've never done with Mike's work schedule. I know we're using that as an excuse but there it is.
Some people have been leaving or complaining amongst themselves that this leads to cliques. I have heard of visitors saying we are a very cliquish church (and I've heard it from old-time members as well). I do know when I went to one bible study all but 2 of us had our kids at the same exclusive Christian school (maybe when Connor is in school I can get a job to afford their tuition :) many in the same class. Even though the leader was great, I did feel excluded as they often discussed things only "insiders" would know. Oddly, one lady talked about relying on God for things because they were in the ministry and very limited on funds. I'm wondering where they came up with the thousands of dollars to pay for their kids each year. Maybe I'm just grumpy because she totally blew me off when I tried to speak to her once--actually to pay her a compliment!
The other night I found myself watching Alan Jackson's Precious Memories concert. I remember almost all those old songs from growing up. They have such spirit, such faith, and they truly move me. I think I felt the Lord more sitting in front of the TV then I have anywhere else lately. Our pastor says he's not there to feed us and that it's up to us but I still feel something missing. I know I need to build my personal time and relationship with the Lord. Still...I'm sad.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
San Antonio Silliness or Save us We're Freezing to Death
Okay, I admit I'm cold. I admit, I'm seriously seriously laughing at the whole Global Warming thing because it's gosh darn cold this year (but I still Recycle because Global Warming or not we are supposed to be stewards of the earth and we have abused it). Still, I just got an email from Sean's school titled "Inclement Weather". It went on to note they would open at 6:45 so parents could drop kids off early rather than make them wait for the bus. I do appreciate that, although we don't get bus service, as I hate to think of cold kiddos, still...when did 25 degree temps w/out any precipitation equal inclement weather. Yes, it's cold. Yes, it's been cold longer than most years but it's no 11 below with icy roads.
I bought the kids hats and gloves. I shaved the fuzz off an old wool coat to wear for myself--I usually only need jackets. But people here are acting like a blizzard is bearing down. As one who lived in slightly colder temperatures (okay West Texas but it SNOWS and gets down in the teens not to mention the vicious wind chill) 25 is uncomfortable but doable. I can see worrying about the homeless of which I'm sure we have a higher population due to the normally temperate winters. I can see worrying about our animals. My dog hates the house so she'll be sleeping in the garage on blankets with a heated fan. Okay yes, I was afraid of the space heater because of the amount of junk that could burn in our garage! It's not really that cold in there so she'll be fine.
I just imagine those in, as MckMama calls it, the Frozen Tundra getting a look at our dire newscasts and laughing themselves silly! Now, excuse me, I have to go feed the dog and turn on her heater :-)
I bought the kids hats and gloves. I shaved the fuzz off an old wool coat to wear for myself--I usually only need jackets. But people here are acting like a blizzard is bearing down. As one who lived in slightly colder temperatures (okay West Texas but it SNOWS and gets down in the teens not to mention the vicious wind chill) 25 is uncomfortable but doable. I can see worrying about the homeless of which I'm sure we have a higher population due to the normally temperate winters. I can see worrying about our animals. My dog hates the house so she'll be sleeping in the garage on blankets with a heated fan. Okay yes, I was afraid of the space heater because of the amount of junk that could burn in our garage! It's not really that cold in there so she'll be fine.
I just imagine those in, as MckMama calls it, the Frozen Tundra getting a look at our dire newscasts and laughing themselves silly! Now, excuse me, I have to go feed the dog and turn on her heater :-)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Facebook Fun
I've been MIA alot on FB lately but I must say I love how I'm "finding" people I haven't seen in 20 or more years. Last month I finally got to have lunch with a friend from elementary school (the stars aligned and we had no sick kids on the same day our kids were in school/preschool). We spent over 2 hours talking and that wasn't enough time.
Today I had lunch with my friend Stephanie from high school. One of the other girls in our little group that did everything together. It was great! I haven't seen her in more than 17 years. Unfortunately, the last time was at the funeral of one of our best friends. Today was certainly a more pleasant occasion. 17 years ago I had just met Mike so you can imagine how much we had to catch up on. We didn't even get close when I had to dash away to get Connor (yes, I was late but only a few minutes)
I really really need to get the house cleaned up and have a get together here. Funny thing is Kelley (elementary friend) and Steph live within 10 minutes of each other and only about 20 minutes from me. Provided it's not rush hour. Steph missed both Reunions so I wish we were having one this year. I'm wondering if maybe we can have some little get together here or even San Angelo even if it's not official. I love memories...
Today I had lunch with my friend Stephanie from high school. One of the other girls in our little group that did everything together. It was great! I haven't seen her in more than 17 years. Unfortunately, the last time was at the funeral of one of our best friends. Today was certainly a more pleasant occasion. 17 years ago I had just met Mike so you can imagine how much we had to catch up on. We didn't even get close when I had to dash away to get Connor (yes, I was late but only a few minutes)
I really really need to get the house cleaned up and have a get together here. Funny thing is Kelley (elementary friend) and Steph live within 10 minutes of each other and only about 20 minutes from me. Provided it's not rush hour. Steph missed both Reunions so I wish we were having one this year. I'm wondering if maybe we can have some little get together here or even San Angelo even if it's not official. I love memories...
Friday, December 25, 2009
Happy Birthday Jesus
I never blog anymore but in case anyone is out there (Janet :-) I felt I really should at least put up some Christmas pictures! The bottom 2 are at Fiesta Texas. We've had passes every year since Sean was 4 but never gone to the Holiday in the Park. What a mistake. We had such a great time. The weather was great--in the low 60's--the crowds were small, and the Christmas show excellent! Christmas has been very low key this year. We had Don over briefly for Christmas Eve tamales before he had to run back and play Santa for his undeserving daughters. We went to church and my MIL met us there but somehow I just didn't get much out of it this year and it was a little unorganized *sigh*
Today we hung out forever while I painted the wall to the office (our former loft that we enclosed last year but Mike just textured a few days ago). The outside is done so now I've just got to finish the inside. While I painted he put together a pool table his mother bought the boys then we went to her house for Christmas dinner. Now I'm just ready for some sleep.
Today we hung out forever while I painted the wall to the office (our former loft that we enclosed last year but Mike just textured a few days ago). The outside is done so now I've just got to finish the inside. While I painted he put together a pool table his mother bought the boys then we went to her house for Christmas dinner. Now I'm just ready for some sleep.
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