Very Frustrating Day

I wonder how many people are feeling the same type of frustration I am today. Today in the US we have our first bi-racial President. I totally get that it is a big deal that our country has finally gotten to the point that we can elect someone who does not fall somehow into the same "box" as previous presidents. I couldn't vote for him. I am a Republican and would like to say I don't vote based on party but that would pretty much be a lie now days. I feel very strongly about a few issues and I cannot in good conscience vote for anyone who would strengthen the party that is as polar opposite from my beliefs as is possible.

Other than those few beliefs I am actually pretty liberal. Just don't tell my husband. No seriously, I think I inherited it from my mother. Since I have become a mother myself I personally think it is appalling that the government spends so much money on "Pork" which should be termed payback for votes and contribution. Seriously, did you know one of the smaller things I read about recently was $500K for Tea Pot Museum. Not that I have anything against tea or pots for that matter (provided you're not talking about marajuana) but come on, there are children with nothing to eat! As a friend pointed out that might be their parent's fault. Okay, that's true but in our nation we should take away some of the money wasted by Congress on stupid stuff and do something about children in need (my husband will tell you not to let me get on my soapbox about NEA grants to individual artists--I mean come on get a job waiting tables and paint your pictures at night already). And if that means taking them away from irresponsible parents that do not provide them with basic needs (if it is through their parent's lazines or lifestyle choices) then so be it. We've had way top many children returned to rehabilitated parents who them beat them to death for me to think it is necessarily worse for a child to be raised by someone else.

I'm not even, shhh this one is a secret though, totally against some way for everyone to be provided healthcare provided they are doing something worthwhile in the world. Working, raising children, making some sort of contribution to society. I don't think Europe necessarily has it right though. I'm afraid something that made sense requires entirely too much plain old common sense than may be possible so I don't know how it could be done.

Now, why do I feel frustrated. I'm open to plenty of somewhat "socialistic" measures by government. I should have been about to vote for President Obama. Unfortunately, the issue which in my heart MUST govern all my political decisions is Abortion. This is shockingly not the mindset I was raised with. This is something I came to feel strongly about as an adult wondering who decided when a baby is a baby and why it's a baby if it's wanted and a fetus or inconvenience when it's not. I couldn't figure out the answer so I decided there was something wrong with what the world was feeding me as an okay thing. After having children and learning about the developement of a child and then learning more about the numbers, procedure and Lord Help Us All, what Partial-birth Abortion is, honestly just the thought that we are allowing this to be done is beyond, well I have no words.

Because President Obama is so extreme Pro-Abortion I could not vote for him if he was Black (African American? someone PLEASE tell me which is not offensive because I really really care), Asian, Anglo, purple, striped or a little green man from Mars. BUT because I did not vote for him I have this nagging fear that people will think I am racist. Or even perhaps that part of me is.

I was not raised by racist parents. And when I say that I don't mean Archie Bunker racists, I mean those anglo people who claim to be open-minded but in their home, with their friends, or just in their heart they really judge people by race. I'm not perfect by any means myself. I admit to, when dealing with a certain type of person within a race (every race has them as far as I'm concerned) I may not have in my mind used a racist remark. I don't think any race, nationality, culture, etc. can ever be defined by stereotypes but you know,you just get annoyed and think an ugly thought. My mother got through to my father back in the 60's about Dr. King by appealing to his Christian beliefs. If she could get a man born in 1912 in Texas to GET that God loves everyone and no one is better than any other she could certainly teach her child that.

That is why today I want to be happy. I want to celebrate that maybe we are slowly moving toward being colorblind. I can't. I can't because I am concerned about what is to come. I can just pray that President Obama surprises me. I can pray we make it through the next 4 to 8 years with not too much more moral damage being done to our world. The one my precious boys are growing up in. And I can hope that people understand why I couldn't support the current president with my vote. And I can pray for a world where it really doesn't matter what shade you are but as I tell my Sean, what's in your heart...