Thursday, February 11, 2010

Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was born into a family that taught her about God's love. She grew up to know about His Son and how he died for her. She loved church. Which was a good thing because she was there every time the doors opened.

Then one sad May, her father died. The following May she began dating a boy from church. In the fall she went into a new class. The only problem was the "queen bee" in the new class wanted the boy for herself. She and the other girls made a point to be hateful to the little girl. Eventually, she stopped going to church but she still loved God.

Years later after the little girl had spent too many years in the world, she had a little boy. She wanted to be sure her little boy knew that God loved him and what Jesus had done for him. She decided to take her family to church. The only problem was her little boy was a little hyper but he was only 2 so what could you do. One day the church told her they had started a file on her little boy because he was bad. She felt awful and prayed so hard that she could help her little boy. She kept going to church. Then one day after bible study a staff member was waiting to talk to her. They said her little boy had bitten the teacher. Only the teacher had told her a different story. One about her little boy behaving like alot of 2 year olds do. When she tried to explain she was yelled at and told her son was violent and that it must be coming from his home. This all happened in the hallway in front of all the other Mommies and the little girl cried. She was told not to bring her little boy back for 2 weeks and to do something about his violent issues. When the teacher told the staff member she was wrong and another child bit the teacher, the staffer just walked away without another word. When the little girl called to talk to the staffers boss they stood behind her---even though she was wrong. The little girl took her family and left. But she missed God.

A few years later she tried again even though she was very very afraid and rarely took her child around other kids. She found somewhere she liked and even a teacher who understood her child. She was happy. Years went by and life took many turns. Many of them difficult. Her church grew and changed. There was another sweet child to raise but they didn't go to church as often as before.

One day she decided to try again and joined a bible study. It wasn't a subject she was interested in but her neighbor asked her to join that class. He youngest wasn't happy about going and never slept at night so the little girl was tired all the time. But still, she missed God so she went to try and get closer to Him. Her friend wasn't there that day. The class didn't really interest her. In fact the subject was uncomfortable and she was hearing things about people she really didn't want to know. One person dominated the class and brought up things that weren't appropriate. She wanted to leave. She didn't. One person asked a question and after 2 other people had spoke, the little girl started to say something encouraging to that person. While words were coming out of her mouth the dominating person suddenly and loudly started talking over her. She talked for 15 more minutes.

The little girl was tired, no sleep remember, and lonely, DH travels every week for his job, and it made her feel really bad. The little girl didn't have anyone around she could talk to. She made a mistake. She posted a comment on Facebook so maybe someone would see she was hurting and call her so she could talk. It was a generic comment about someone cutting her off and no one was named. She forgot that she had 2 "friends" on FB who went to her church.

She got a call from her small group leader supposedly concerning the email she had sent explaining why she didn't feel comfortable in the class and would be leaving. She didn't feel like talking but called back. After pretty much apologizing for even saying anything she felt better but still not likely to go back. Then the leader berated her for her FB post--the leader is NOT a "friend" on FB. Apparently someone felt the need to find out which group the little girl was in an tattle on her. The little girl did not talk about what was said, did not name people, and did not mention what group she was in.

The little girl is sick, and tired, and sad and now she doesn't have anyplace to take her sweet children to learn about Jesus. And she totally understands why so many people hate the church.

6 comments:

Hazel Fish said...

Hey, Deborah, what has been happening since your last sad post? Do hope you're doing okay? Just came across your blog today after updating mine about my boys who aren't doing so well in their homeschooling this week and I really felt your despair and sadness. Other people cane make our days so difficult when we're just trying to do our best. Hang in there...

honda said...

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Heather said...

O Deborah, I am so sorry that you have been experiencing these hurts. It's a shame that we treat each other the way we do sometimes. I'm sure you don't really need advice or lame excuses for why they might have said or done the things they did and said. All I really have to say is that you are loved and you are not alone. The God who loves you through all your shortcomings also loves each one who has wronged you. This life is not easy and it's surely not intended for us to live in isolation. As painful as it often is to engage with others, much of our own growth comes as a result of those interactions. Those women have not been an example to you of Christ's love, compassion and forgiveness, as they should have been. I am praying that God would bring a Christian woman into your life to encourage you and be that example to you...and as a result you will be compelled to go back and BE the example to others. Jesus said, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." No matter who you look to, whenever you are dealing with people there will be dissappointments and failure...but this does not mean God has failed you. He is always faithful and ever true. He is a rock, a fortress...a safe place to run to. And not everyone you meet in Church, and even in Church leadership, sadly, has known and chosen to love and serve Him. Do not let those who live in hypocrisy [putting on a show, pretending to be someone they are not] deter you from experiencing knowing, loving and serving Him. My heart weeps with you in all these things you've shared. I hope you don't mind the forward words from a stranger. Much love to you in Jesus, Heather

Colene said...

Oh hun, that is so terrible! I am a stay at home mom too. I have four kids that go to a church school which I used to be VERY involved with, but bad things happened and I was sad too. Just know that you don't have to let them make you feel bad. You are doing a wonderful job as a mother and God sees you in a way they never can! Here is my blog: http://stayathomesingleparent.blogspot.com/
Post again soon! I'll be following. I hope things get better for you soon!

Mama Bair said...

We are all children of our Heavenly Father, and as with some families...there are good brothers and sisters and some that are rather bossy. I am sorry you found the bossy sister. Please know that regardless of this one incident, you are still loved by your Heavenly Father and he will always love you. Not all churchs are like that one. Look around until you find the one that your heart recognizes. There you will have peace, love and at last acceptance. Good Luck. Mama Bair, taberrose@yahoo.com

Ash Brown said...

I accidentally fell upon your blog when I was trying to post on my own, but I totally understand where you are coming from! People aren't the church, God is!! Don't worry love! I saw you're moving to North Carolina, which is incredibly ironic because thats where I found God. If you ever want a getaway head to Montreat, NC. Its a very welcoming Christian community and offers so much love to everyone who passes through its stone gates, and its kid friendly too! Good luck on your transition!
-Ash