Sunday, January 25, 2009

Listen to your Mother

How many times have I regretted not listening to my mother! My mother wanted to teach me to sew. My mother wanted to teach me to cook. My mother told me to take Home Ec and Spanish. I wasn't that rebellious, but for some reason I never let my mother teach me to sew. I never let my mother teach me to cook. I took Drama and French.

Fast forward past adolescence. I still didn't let my mother teach me to cook. Of course she cooked mostly by recipe and I have those. When I take the time I CAN cook well but I tend to get distracted. Also, I can't find a few key recipes that I want to have. I did want to learn to sew but by the time I asked for guidance my niece had broken the sewing machine. As for the classes in school, well, I'm a SAHM in San Antonio so you can imagine HOW useful Drama and French are to me in my life today.

I'm trying to find something to do to help pay off our debt. I'm not sure where it is our money has gone since Mike actually made more last year than ever before, but go it did. Considering the fact that I have a College education and worked full time for the first 8 years of our marriage, I find it frustrating that I'm not contributing. Add that to the fact that I am not the most domestic goddess that has ever existed. Okay, who am I kidding, I don't invite people over because I don't want them to know how bad I let our house get! Anyway, I am creative so I'd like to find an outlet to bring in a few bucks AND make me feel I'm accomplishing something that lasts more than a day. Cleaning the house, cleaning the clothes, and grocery shopping seem to have to be repeated constantly and give me little sense of worth.

I made some cute T-shirts for Connor's class. I'd been experimenting with ideas for t-shirts, especially Christian t-shirts, for kids when I ran across this great craft idea on another blog--Chronicles of a Mommy, I have her button on my blog and she is such an inspiration. I really liked the way the shirts looked so I made a onsie for Sean's teacher's daughter. It was too cute (wish I'd taken a photo). Anyway, I'd really like to make and sell these shirts but it would be so much easier if I could use a sewing machine. I like the look I get doing it by hand but should I actually get many orders I'd be in trouble fast.

My normal MO would be to fret and worry about this and never do anything about it. However, a new friend recently told me she thought I was really laid back when I mentioned how I am a worrier. Perhaps I have changed in the last 3 years. I'd always wondered how I'd make it without my mother and now, well, perfect or imperfect I'm making it. Short of being late to school a few times and the fact that I tend to pay the bills late, I haven't yet burned down the house or ran away. Maybe this is the time in my life to try something without first imagining all the worst case scenarios (of course how bad could it be with kids shirts!)

I really want to put myself out there and do something, so maybe I will. Sean's teacher keeps asking me to start a business so she can buy from me and there are lots of mommies teaching at his school so... AND I did have a lady in charge of crafts at her MOPS group ask me to call her about organizing a craft when she saw me and Connor in our cross shirts at Target last fall(I used bleach and really didn't do a good job AT ALL, but she still liked them). So I'm thinking about whipping up some shirts and giving her a call since she told me to bring some to sell as well as teach a craft. Don't know if she would still be interested, but maybe I should check.

Of course it would be so much easier if I just knew how to at least sew a straight line on a sewing machine. Yes, Mother, you were SOOO right!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Okay, maybe my hair is a little red. We have horrible lighting in our house and it's still hard to get a good look in the rearview mirror of the car. Guess I need to take a mirror outside to look.

On another note I made it through a kick-boxing class and only had to skip a few moves due to my "skating" injury. Dh is still admitting that he needs to figure out a better response to my emergency situations. On the other hand I thought after the staph infection tried to kill me 2 years ago he would have already figured that one out so we'll see. Anyway, back to the class. The real issue I had was jumping or jarring moves. I can't figure out what I did exactly. Maybe bruised the bone just below the base of my back. Anyway, lunges to the left were also out of the question. Other than that the worst thing was when I got hot and sweat dripped onto the scratches down my side. Ouch!

This weekend we'll be talking to some friends about possibly starting a business venture together. Mike's friend is interested in a Medical Spa (he's in the medical field and owns a home healthcare company rated high nationally for quality!) and his wife loves kids and was talking about a drop-in care place. I know that there are currently 3 within 10 minutes from our neighborhood so I'm going to talk to her about a play place as the nearest one just closed. I know all the issues I had with it and I've talked to and overheard lots of other moms talking about play places.

Now I'm all excited with tons of ideas and I don't know if it's even going anyplace. Plus I want to design it not work there all the time so I don't know how that would work out even if it is a go. I certainly don't want to put Connor in daycare so I can run a place for kids to play so we'll see.

Oh yeah, Janet tagged me. I'll deal with that in the morning since my keyboard is way too loud and I don't want to wake Connor. I also need a laptop along with a million other little things around here. But with property taxes due NEXT week I'm about to send most of our savings to the state.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Very Frustrating Day

I wonder how many people are feeling the same type of frustration I am today. Today in the US we have our first bi-racial President. I totally get that it is a big deal that our country has finally gotten to the point that we can elect someone who does not fall somehow into the same "box" as previous presidents. I couldn't vote for him. I am a Republican and would like to say I don't vote based on party but that would pretty much be a lie now days. I feel very strongly about a few issues and I cannot in good conscience vote for anyone who would strengthen the party that is as polar opposite from my beliefs as is possible.

Other than those few beliefs I am actually pretty liberal. Just don't tell my husband. No seriously, I think I inherited it from my mother. Since I have become a mother myself I personally think it is appalling that the government spends so much money on "Pork" which should be termed payback for votes and contribution. Seriously, did you know one of the smaller things I read about recently was $500K for Tea Pot Museum. Not that I have anything against tea or pots for that matter (provided you're not talking about marajuana) but come on, there are children with nothing to eat! As a friend pointed out that might be their parent's fault. Okay, that's true but in our nation we should take away some of the money wasted by Congress on stupid stuff and do something about children in need (my husband will tell you not to let me get on my soapbox about NEA grants to individual artists--I mean come on get a job waiting tables and paint your pictures at night already). And if that means taking them away from irresponsible parents that do not provide them with basic needs (if it is through their parent's lazines or lifestyle choices) then so be it. We've had way top many children returned to rehabilitated parents who them beat them to death for me to think it is necessarily worse for a child to be raised by someone else.

I'm not even, shhh this one is a secret though, totally against some way for everyone to be provided healthcare provided they are doing something worthwhile in the world. Working, raising children, making some sort of contribution to society. I don't think Europe necessarily has it right though. I'm afraid something that made sense requires entirely too much plain old common sense than may be possible so I don't know how it could be done.

Now, why do I feel frustrated. I'm open to plenty of somewhat "socialistic" measures by government. I should have been about to vote for President Obama. Unfortunately, the issue which in my heart MUST govern all my political decisions is Abortion. This is shockingly not the mindset I was raised with. This is something I came to feel strongly about as an adult wondering who decided when a baby is a baby and why it's a baby if it's wanted and a fetus or inconvenience when it's not. I couldn't figure out the answer so I decided there was something wrong with what the world was feeding me as an okay thing. After having children and learning about the developement of a child and then learning more about the numbers, procedure and Lord Help Us All, what Partial-birth Abortion is, honestly just the thought that we are allowing this to be done is beyond, well I have no words.

Because President Obama is so extreme Pro-Abortion I could not vote for him if he was Black (African American? someone PLEASE tell me which is not offensive because I really really care), Asian, Anglo, purple, striped or a little green man from Mars. BUT because I did not vote for him I have this nagging fear that people will think I am racist. Or even perhaps that part of me is.

I was not raised by racist parents. And when I say that I don't mean Archie Bunker racists, I mean those anglo people who claim to be open-minded but in their home, with their friends, or just in their heart they really judge people by race. I'm not perfect by any means myself. I admit to, when dealing with a certain type of person within a race (every race has them as far as I'm concerned) I may not have in my mind used a racist remark. I don't think any race, nationality, culture, etc. can ever be defined by stereotypes but you know,you just get annoyed and think an ugly thought. My mother got through to my father back in the 60's about Dr. King by appealing to his Christian beliefs. If she could get a man born in 1912 in Texas to GET that God loves everyone and no one is better than any other she could certainly teach her child that.

That is why today I want to be happy. I want to celebrate that maybe we are slowly moving toward being colorblind. I can't. I can't because I am concerned about what is to come. I can just pray that President Obama surprises me. I can pray we make it through the next 4 to 8 years with not too much more moral damage being done to our world. The one my precious boys are growing up in. And I can hope that people understand why I couldn't support the current president with my vote. And I can pray for a world where it really doesn't matter what shade you are but as I tell my Sean, what's in your heart...

Monday, January 19, 2009


****Update--my hair is NOT Red, and this is not a NOT as in Not Me Monday either. Darn it, I finally decide to have a freeing, don't think too much moment and it isn't happening. I should note my hair was much blonder than in the family photo on the blog. It really was colored too dark that day, especially since she highlighted it with way top light highlights by contrast. Since it cost $150 I've been doing it myself the last 6 months. It goes from dark blond to light blond to dark blond again. Red is in this year so I thought why not embrace my red that I'm always trying to color away with Ash. My hair is now more of a medium blond with red highlights. Maybe it will look more red outside.

Hmmmm....I would say this does not bode well for my tattoo idea. For those many souls who have told me I could always pass it off as an earlier youthful indiscretion, I should point out that not many girls in West TX has tattoos back in the 80's--yes I am that old and yes I have a 2 year old. On the other hand maybe I can somehow learn to lie about my age. My mother was really strict about that whole "Thou shall not lie" thing so I have trouble with it. Oh wait, I guess that means God would too....*****

Did you know red haircolor is purple when you put it on. Oh my gosh, what have I done. 10 more minutes and I'll know!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This weekend I certainly did not go to a skating party and think that I would be able to not only skate but help teach my kids even though I haven't really skated since high school.

Once there, I certainly did not discover the wheels were much more rolly that I expected and my balance was much worse than I expected. It had to be the loose wheels right.

I certainly did NOT carry my 2 year old, while on skates, because he started whining. AND even though I was on the carpet I did not carry my 2 year old, while on skates, and then use my other hand to help my 7 year old past the opening I DID NOT suddenly feel my skate sliding forward. Because said 2 year old was NOT on my hip, while I was on skates, I certainly did not have no way to grab the rail. That said, I did not fall flat on my back, scraping it on that useless concrete half-wall, hit my head on the floor all the while NOT holding said 2 year old who also did not fall with me.

I am not now really fed up with the world including some people in my family because other than removing said 2 year old to discover he was not injured it is NOT possible that NO ONE helped me up or checked that I was okay. I, of course, do not have scrapes down my back and what feels like a bruised tailbone among other bruises.

Okay, I am not using this forum to complain and discovering that 2 days later this is still NOT an issue.

I did not, however, have another issue that has NEVER happened to me (this never is real despite the fact that I have 2 kids that were determined not to face the world at their birth and you do not even want to know what level episiotomy--spellcheck is not working and I cannot spell this word!-- I had) because I did not kinda have to find a restroom before the incident and really needed one after. Did you know that this skating rink doesn't have doors on their stalls in the girls room. I do now!

I did not then proceed to tell other family members who shall remain nameless because apparently I am not still miffed at them, that I was going out to the car and might leave to get a soda because of the issue I have never had happen before.

I did not then drive to Macy's up the street(they WERE having a sale of course) and proceed to purchase a lovely new pair of jeans which I did not need anyway because I only have 3 pair that fit. Said family members still haven't noticed the new jeans!

I have not decided that I need to shake my life up a little and enjoy it more. Thus I am not about to drive to the store to purchase a demi-permenant haircolor in RED. I have fought my red highlights since high school so why on earth would I give in and go red now.

I am not also really truly for the first time considering getting that tattoo I've been dreaming about for the last few years. I think maybe I've decided if the people at church have a problem with me getting an ICTHUS on my ankle they need to cut loose a little. We'll see is I really do not go through with this one!

Okay, I did not use this whole forum to not only admit something so embarrassing about myself, and still manage to complain about certain members of my family even though I did not already have to delete a post where I complained much more indepth.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Not Me Monday

I did not spend most of the weekend laying around the house watching kid shows with Connor. No, with Mike and Sean gone I was totally efficient and not only got loads of chores done I worked out too, NOT!

That said, part of the reason I was lazy was not because my little Connor chose to wake up before 6 each day--well before 6 Sunday joining me in bed around 5 AM. Being a good Mommy I of course sent him straight back to bed. I did not provide him with juice then proceed to let him sleep on me on both the couch and my bed because I was TIRED!

I did not run out to the the mess in the garage yesterday in my only fit of energy and find the antique guns Mike accused me of losing. I did not, however, fail to find the DVDs he brought home from Iraq. Of course, it might not possibly be because I was afraid of something collapsing on myself or Connor or having my finger cut off when I found saw blades laying in a dark box I was digging through in the corner.

I did not spend too many hours last night searching for a background for my blog because I deleted the background and The Cutest Blog on the Block has been down for days. Once I found something that actually worked with my template I did not then spend more time adjusting the colors to where I liked them. I did not then watch the movie I got 2 days ago so I could return it and thus go to bed at 2 AM. I know better than that since Connor was on a roll waking up early!

I did not check out when Mike and Sean arrived home at 2 this afternoon. Essentially, we were splitting the load each having a child so I have no reason to be so tired now. Of course he did get the one who sleeps...

I did not just spend 15 minutes crying over the video on Bring the Rain, , and reread the story of Audrey again to compound the tears. I am not completely blown away by Angie and others who show so much strength, courage, and faith in God. I do not feel humbled and so unworthy because I let so little get me down and wonder why God's "picking on me" when He's given me so much.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Christmas Photos

Let's see, I got the Halloween photos up around Christmas so I'm actually a month ahead this time. Notice I'm not in any of the photos. That is because 1. I'm taking the pictures and 2. I still hate the way I look in pictures. At this rate I'll be lucky to lose enough weight to get in the boys wedding pictures. Of course by then I really will need some cosmetic surgery so maybe I'll have to take those as well, LOL!

And it looks like I put them on in backwards order but I'm going to leave them as is. The first which should be last is everyone's favorite gift. The Wii from Mike's parents and Guitar Hero's from me to Mike.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Connor and Mommy, Home Alone

Dh and Sean are getting ready to go deer hunting. Yes, I said deer hunting and yes I'm thinking about painting Sean florescent orange before they leave. Mike assures me he will be safe but as hyper as he's been this afternoon I can just imagine him running through the forest as hunters fire! Okay, really, it's okay. Thousands of boys have gone deer hunting with their father's at the age of 7 and survived--right!?!?

Anyway, that will leave me and a very unhappy Connor at home until Sunday afternoon. I know he's going to be unhappy that both brother and Daddy are not only gone but gone somewhere together that he didn't get to go to. I'm hoping for an early night as I picked him up at MDO at 2 and woke him up. I will probably skip naptime tomorrow and go for a 7 PM bedtime just to have some time alone to myself.

Okay, Janet, Latin Fusion is this fun exercise class at my gym. I like Pilates but they charge per class for it and I'm already paying a ridiculous amount per month already. My friend tried the class and got me to go. It incorporates Latin dance moves (remember Baby in Dirty Dancing learning the steps--that kind) with a little hip-hop and belly dancing. I really like the instructor and I'm loving that it's starting to feel less like exercise and more like fun even though I'm drenched when it's over. That said, my instructor was out today and the one that sub'd was more into hip-hop and was too fast to change steps. So I was all excited and then let down but because she ended early I got the grocery shopping done before I had to pick up Connor from MDO. Incidentally, I found that the class can be applied to real life when they played a song at the New Years Eve party and I knew the steps. Mike didn't so I just danced around him while he wiggled as usual. It was fun that I recognized the beat. Of course without the glass of wine I probably wouldn't have done it.

Anyway, I'm just trying to get on track with my exercise and the clutter. The house is much cleaner and we've gotten rid of a couch and chair. I've got more to sell in the garage but I'll wait until Mike is back to do that. I really need to paint the bedrooms and redecorate as Connor's is still a nursery theme and Sean's is more preschool. I should trade rooms but Sean doesn't want to and his is over the kitchen so that isn't a good place for Connor if I want him to sleep! I'm planning to paint all 3 rooms blue. Connor will get chocolate accent paint and I have the cutest circles that stick up but are moveable that will go on the upper half of the walls. I'm planning to buy some Star Wars stick up characters for Sean. It will also be blue because it's for Sean and everything MUST be blue for Sean. I want to paint my room blue as well because it's the same brown as the rest of the house and I want it to be more restful.

Of course, first I must buy the paint (I'm getting the Freshaire brand from Home Depot because it is VOCC free), then tape--I HATE taping, then actually paint when both boys aren't underfoot. Hmmm....hopefully I'll get this done before we decide to try and sell though house again in a few years, LOL

Monday, January 5, 2009

Not Me Monday

First and foremost, I didn't neglect to blog for an entire week so that my last blog was actually a Not Me Monday blog!

That said I would have lots of excuses for doing so as DH was not at home all week and didn't take plenty of time off to play with the boys.

My children, including the tall one that pays the bills, are not now Wii obsessed. Not my family, and I would certainly not allow them to play for hours on end. I insist on reading, writing, and beneficial activities for my kids.

Our poor little doggy is not feeling neglected for that Wii the boys are not obsessed with.

I did not have 3 glasses of wine New Years Eve and ask DH if I acted silly. First, I never drink (okay that one is almost true) and if I did, I would know that 3 drinks in 4 hours with food would not make me silly. I am NOT overly concerned with how people perceive me. Not at all, especially at a party where I knew all of 3 people and that includes DH.

I have not fallen in love with my Latin Fusion exercise class and I certainly did not ask the instructor if she does it more than once a week. I am not considering asking DH to put the kids to bed on Mondays so I can take the 8 PM class too.

I am also not secretly intrigued because she throws in a few belly dancing moves because I have always thought it would be fun to learn to belly dance--for the exercise of course!

I did not fail yet again to make enchiladas tonight. I am also not really regretting not letting my mother teach me to make Mexican food so I'd know how to get those darn corn tortillas not to tear every time! I did not tell DH that at least my chili is good because that would be admitting I can cook SOMETHING right.

I am not dreading bedtime because Connor took a nap so will be impossible to get to sleep tonight.

And no, I did not just admit I keep my child up some days so bedtime will go easy and be early because I want some "me time".